[Anonymous]

Hi, sorry its a tad long

ages ago, (I'd say about a good few months ago) I was out on a night out when I met this guy, he was very nice to me and I was slightly attracted to him. But I was out with a group of friends in which one of the friends I really liked - we had a slight fling ages ago and ever since I thought there could have been something more- so I never really looked at anyone to like as I really liked this friend of mine.

Anyway, the bloke I met that night wanted my number and when I went he kissed me and I was uneasy as the friend I liked was on the other side of the room...I just didn't know what to do.

I get a text from the guy who I met that night in the morning...started to chat me up (at the time I found it, not creepy, but too much...mainly because I liked my friend too much and just couldn't imagine anyone else at that time) it got to a point about a week later I had no credit so couldn't text him back, never heard from him since.

Now I know I'm over my friend (I think) not sure why I found it so hard to get over him, even though there was nothing to get over in a way..I suppose I wanted some sort of closure but the amount of mixed messages from him was unbelievable. But recently the man I met that one night popped into my head the other day..I still have his number but he probably doesn't remember me. A few weeks after I first saw him he started to chat up a friend of mine (who had a boyfriend) so I kinda presumed he was just trying to get something? But he was really lovely to me in person and when texting.

I just don't know what to do, do I text him out of the blue after 4 months later? Seems a bit creepy, I don't even have him on facebook! The other thing is, I'm just about to turn 18, and he's in his early twenties... in my opinion I don't think thats a problem but because I really haven't had a 'proper' boyfriend I don't know whether its too much, or maybe I'm just thinking too much into it?

Any comments appreciated thanks

[Anonymous]

Any thoughts anyone? (I don't like being one of those people who 'bump' up their post but not sure whether I was going to get any response a few pages on)

[az08]

Do it.

[MorrisseyForever]

In my opinion, I think you should leave it. I was in a similar situation as you and ended up making everything worse!
If you really want to do it, just keep the convo light and casual just to make sure he's still into you/doesn't find it odd.


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[Anonymous]

(Original post by az08)
Do it.

Thanks for the response

(Original post by MorrisseyForever)
In my opinion, I think you should leave it. I was in a similar situation as you and ended up making everything worse!
If you really want to do it, just keep the convo light and casual just to make sure he's still into you/doesn't find it odd.

Thanks, I think I may leave it for a few days see how I feel, whether I just have mixed emotions anyway and I just don't know where to put myself due to the situation with the previous friend who I liked.


Do you think if I wanted to make contact a simple add on facebook be a good first move, or just a text?

(I do ask for advice from my friends but one says one thing and the other says another so just puts me in an awkward, confusing position!)

[Climbontoyourseahorse]

Leave it. I'm a girl and about six months after I got with some random guy once who asked for my number (it amounted to absolutely nothing) he texted me again and it looked really desperate. Sorry, but I think it would look odd to contact out of the blue someone you met once four months ago. It almost looks like you've spent four months deliberating over whether they're worth pursuing (which would be weird) or they will realise the truth - which is that you were interested in someone else and that they're second best. Don't think they'll appreciate that. You strike while the iron's hot or you don't at all.

This guy is in his early 20s. It's likely he's given his number out to women more times than he can remember and so it's probably not that big a deal to him. He's probably learned not to get his hopes up and get attached to the idea of a girl he's met only once. So fast forwards four months and it's likely there have been women since. Maybe he's got a girlfriend. Don't you also think that it would be saying to him 'No guy has shown interest in me since you!'? Get out there and meet other men - he will not be the first or last to show interest in you. This guy probably won't be as you remember him either, and you might think that your former feelings for your friend stopped you from liking anyone else, but in my opinion if you were going to be into this guy, you would have most probably felt more than 'slight attraction' to him on first meeting.

[Anonymous]

(Original post by Climbontoyourseahorse)
Leave it. I'm a girl and about six months after I got with some random guy once who asked for my number (it amounted to absolutely nothing) he texted me again and it looked really desperate. Sorry, but I think it would look odd to contact out of the blue someone you met once four months ago. It almost looks like you've spent four months deliberating over whether they're worth pursuing (which would be weird) or they will realise the truth - which is that you were interested in someone else and that they're second best. Don't think they'll appreciate that. You strike while the iron's hot or you don't at all.

This guy is in his early 20s. It's likely he's given his number out to women more times than he can remember and so it's probably not that big a deal to him. He's probably learned not to get his hopes up and get attached to the idea of a girl he's met only once. So fast forwards four months and it's likely there have been women since. Maybe he's got a girlfriend. Don't you also think that it would be saying to him 'No guy has shown interest in me since you!'? Get out there and meet other men - he will not be the first or last to show interest in you. This guy probably won't be as you remember him either, and you might think that your former feelings for your friend stopped you from liking anyone else, but in my opinion if you were going to be into this guy, you would have most probably felt more than 'slight attraction' to him on first meeting.

I think you've hit the nail on the head. I think it was more the fact that I kind of liked this new guy but seemed like the feelings I had for my friend would remain and they did for ages (I think I still vaguely have them, but I now feel that I can look at other men now..sounds lame I know) as I always thought there'd be something, even my friends would say that me and my friend would get together which didn't help let go of the feelings I had for him, and made me wonder during that time whether I could go for someone that I met a couple of times on a night out who I wanted to get to know more or gamble it and wait around! (nothing else happened with my friend so now I just keep thinking I've just wasting a good few months of being potentially happy, a good friend of mine said the other day she didn't like the way the friend who I liked treated me)
Also probably didn't help I was going through my last lot of A2 exams so emotions were everywhere haha.

But thank you for the response I think you're right, I need to go out and have fun and meet more men...but seeing as I live in a small town with only like 1 club (2 on a good night if they're open) I may bump into the guy I met that one night haha...

[Rock Fan]

Surely you don't have anything to lose by texting him? what's the worse that could happen? he'll say no?