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My boyfriend's buggered up his life and blames me help

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    The title of my post may come across a bit blunt sorry! Basically my bboyfriend took an exam a few months ago which is of degree level to boost him up to a higher position for work and if he had passed he would have got a better job. He said that work pushed him into it. I thought it was great he was giving it a go because although he has a great job he wanted to do bette.r


    We hardly see each other but I cut it down to once a week so he could study and we saw each other for about 2 hours, everytime I offered to help him study as he had files and files of notes and books to read but he refused, he spent the weekends clubbing. He virtually had no time for me which I thought was due to studying but no he was going out to parties and getting pissed. The weekend before his exam he went out friday and saturday night and spent till 3pm sunday in bed before attempting to revise. I never ever voiced what I thought but he did bugger all work for a extremlly hard exam and it was obvious he wasnt going to get themark he wanted nor needed.


    The results came out today and he failed I did the whole comfoting reassuring thing he just snapped at me I look an idiot, when I asked why he said that I hadnt given him the motivation to work and study thatd why he failed. I said to him would he like to go out for dinner or a drink tonight to cheer him up to which he said no he's to 'upset' but now I find out hes going out clubbing (again) to get drunk..... he's not talking to me ad blames me for missig out on this job.


    Should I just keep quiet and accept maybe he is stressed or can I kick up a fuss?
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    Never "just keep quiet" if something's bothering you to this extent.
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    Sounds like an immature idiot, to be honest.

    As mentioned above - you can't just keep quiet, because as soon as you do, he'll realize how vulnerable you are, and will blame you for a lot of things he's done.
    Honestly, tell him how it is. Tell him to quit acting like such a child and face the consequences of his actions. He doesn't need you there to "motivate" him..he's an adult, he should have been aware of the consequences had he not revised.
    If he refuses to listen to you, then leave him. Personally, he doesn't sound worth the stress you're under.
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    It was his responsibility and his alone to make sure he had revised enough, you have no reason to be sorry or feel bad that he failed. He's an adult, and that involves accepting that you've made the wrong decision and moving on from it. He needs to grow up, tbh.
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    How old is he? He sounds ridiculously immature. To be honest he's being ridiculous and rude and I think you need to let him know he can't treat you like that. He has only himself to blame.


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    If I want somebody to help motivate me for something then I ask them specifically if they mind doing it - as a favour, not because it's their responsibility to or anything. Your boyfriend sounds like an arse.
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    Let him go.

    We all lash out at people when we are hurt or angry, I'm sure he is not stupid enough to think he failed an exam because of anything you did. But when a guy chooses to spend most of his time clubbing and very little time with his girlfriend then it is time for the girlfriend to question whether the relationship is really as good as she wants it to be.
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    Sounds like a nice chap
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    He's upset, he wasn't in a good mood. But if this is a long term trend of ditching you in favour of clubbing, then you should probably tell him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The title of my post may come across a bit blunt sorry! Basically my bboyfriend took an exam a few months ago which is of degree level to boost him up to a higher position for work and if he had passed he would have got a better job. He said that work pushed him into it. I thought it was great he was giving it a go because although he has a great job he wanted to do bette.r


    We hardly see each other but I cut it down to once a week so he could study and we saw each other for about 2 hours, everytime I offered to help him study as he had files and files of notes and books to read but he refused, he spent the weekends clubbing. He virtually had no time for me which I thought was due to studying but no he was going out to parties and getting pissed. The weekend before his exam he went out friday and saturday night and spent till 3pm sunday in bed before attempting to revise. I never ever voiced what I thought but he did bugger all work for a extremlly hard exam and it was obvious he wasnt going to get themark he wanted nor needed.


    The results came out today and he failed I did the whole comfoting reassuring thing he just snapped at me I look an idiot, when I asked why he said that I hadnt given him the motivation to work and study thatd why he failed. I said to him would he like to go out for dinner or a drink tonight to cheer him up to which he said no he's to 'upset' but now I find out hes going out clubbing (again) to get drunk..... he's not talking to me ad blames me for missig out on this job.


    Should I just keep quiet and accept maybe he is stressed or can I kick up a fuss?
    If this is how he always reacts then why stay with an immature little boy like him, if this is a one off then talk to him when he's calmed down, but to be honest you only did what he asked, and even though he was busy he could have still made a bit of time each week for you, makes you wonder what he was really up to.

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Updated: August 9, 2012
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