[Anonymous]

I'm a 24 year old girl, my last relationship ended when I'd just turned 22. At first I was happy being single, thinking someone would come along eventually...but it still hasn't happened. I just want a boyfriend now. I've met about 10 guys over the last couple of years that I liked, about 5 of them I dated and met up with..but it never worked out. I have gone through so much rejection I am starting to give up on men altogether. What's the point of being a nice, friendly, honest person? I may as well have screwed all these guys over, they basically treated me like a piece of meat anyway. I will graduate my degree next June, then I will have to move back home to a tiny town where the chances of me meeting anyone will be significantly reduced.

Every time I go on facebook I see "so and so is now in a relationship" and it makes me feel so crap. All these people must have something I don't I guess....

[GPH92]

I know what you mean about the facebook thing, but remember in the end itll change to either single or widowed

[KelZee]

Sorry no advice I can give. But you're not alone. I've been single for what, 4/5 years now. I'm just gonna start bulk-buying cats.

[ToastyCoke]

Normally, the harder you look for a relationship, the longer it takes to find one.

The relationship I'm in now came about from her randomly asking for my number in tesco. I was just minding my own business and it happened. Started texting, met up a few times for coffee/lunch and then started spending time at each others flats then it became official. Just take it easy, try go out on nights out a lot. That will only increase your chances of at least meeting new people.

[Flibble22]

Don't worry about it, I've been single for longer than that but you shouldn't let it affect you. As the guy above says, the harder you look the more difficult it'll be.

You'll just be minding your own business one day, and bam, there she'll be.

Considering how long you could potentially be together in a relationship, don't you think taking your time to find the right one is a sound move, anyway?

[WarriorInAWig]

You mentioned the word friendly when you described your situation. Do you give off the 'friend' vibe during a date or do you try to drop hints that you want something more (not just sexual but reltionship-wise)?

As a guy I'm ridiculous at picking up when a girl is interested in me so when I go for a date, I hope we all have a good time* at the least to avoid egg on my face so perhaps a bit more assertiveness would get you a partner in no time at all.

* http://hakimdropstheball.blogspot.co...mpson-bet.html

[scott1231]

I cannot give you a relationship but i can show you a good time <3

Seriously though,i know someone who was in quite a similar situation to you for a few years.You just have to put your self out there despite the constant setbacks otherwise you will never get out of the rut.It wont come to you,you have to go get it.

[MagicNMedicine]

lol at those replies "it will just happen", "when you stop trying someone will just appear".

There are loads of people that have been single for ages and pretty much given up on ever getting with someone, and people don't "just appear" for them.

Desperation is never going to help but you're better to take steps to improve yourself to make yourself look and act more attractive, and have a more attractive life, because when you raise your attractiveness to the opposite sex that's when the things that "just happen" occur.

The problem otherwise is, you will just be getting on with your life and an amazing person will appear out of the blue who you totally fall for, but they won't fancy you. Then you'll have to get over it, then a while later you'll meet someone else, and they won't fancy you either, so you'll have to get over it. This is the difference between people that are attractive to the opposite sex and people that aren't - the story is different for attractive people because when they meet that amazing person, the person is flattered by their attention and fancies them back.

Being attractive isn't all about genetic good looks, so there are things you can do to improve your attractiveness, which will improve your chances of those amazing people you meet randomly, fancying you back.

[dj1015]

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a 24 year old girl, my last relationship ended when I'd just turned 22. At first I was happy being single, thinking someone would come along eventually...but it still hasn't happened. I just want a boyfriend now. I've met about 10 guys over the last couple of years that I liked, about 5 of them I dated and met up with..but it never worked out. I have gone through so much rejection I am starting to give up on men altogether. What's the point of being a nice, friendly, honest person? I may as well have screwed all these guys over, they basically treated me like a piece of meat anyway. I will graduate my degree next June, then I will have to move back home to a tiny town where the chances of me meeting anyone will be significantly reduced.

Every time I go on facebook I see "so and so is now in a relationship" and it makes me feel so crap. All these people must have something I don't I guess....

self esteem?
motivation?
confidence?

[blondyx]

Hey OP, just try and take up more hobbiea or put yourself in situations where you would meet new people. I doubt there is anything wrong with you as you have even dated guys. There could be loads of reasons why they didnt want a relationship but that doesnt reflect anything bad on you.
Its better to be single than to get into a relationship for the sake of it. I know its a pain being single for ages but just focus on improving your lifestyle and being happy in yourself in the meantime

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my GT-I9300

[Anonymous]

(Original post by MagicNMedicine)
lol at those replies "it will just happen", "when you stop trying someone will just appear".

There are loads of people that have been single for ages and pretty much given up on ever getting with someone, and people don't "just appear" for them.

Desperation is never going to help but you're better to take steps to improve yourself to make yourself look and act more attractive, and have a more attractive life, because when you raise your attractiveness to the opposite sex that's when the things that "just happen" occur.

The problem otherwise is, you will just be getting on with your life and an amazing person will appear out of the blue who you totally fall for, but they won't fancy you. Then you'll have to get over it, then a while later you'll meet someone else, and they won't fancy you either, so you'll have to get over it. This is the difference between people that are attractive to the opposite sex and people that aren't - the story is different for attractive people because when they meet that amazing person, the person is flattered by their attention and fancies them back.

Being attractive isn't all about genetic good looks, so there are things you can do to improve your attractiveness, which will improve your chances of those amazing people you meet randomly, fancying you back.

Okay so what do you suggest I do to become more attractive?

As far as physical appearance, there isn't much more I can do; I take care of myself, dress well, and have been told quite often than I'm "Hot" or "pretty" (this isn't me being big headed, this is just what I've been told from others - both guys and girls).

Personality-wise, I try and be friendly to everyone and try to come across as open and engaging. I consider myself to be at least moderately intelligent (I have a 2.1 degree). I don't have MASSES of hobbies because I don't have the time, but I'm open to trying new things, and will be doing so in september when I go back to uni.

Not sure what else I can be doing to make myself "attractice" aside from completely reinventing myself, which I'm sure wouldn't indicate much strength of character!

[marria93]

I think your hope of trying to find someone is pretty obvious to people around you. When you're desperate for relationship people might think you're pathetic and no one wants that in a girlfriend. Stop thinking it's something you NEED and see it as something you just want.. it's different and enjoy every little thing that boosts your confidence

[superduper9]

Hi OP! I know what it can be frustrating. After breaking up with my long term girlfriend a year and a half or so ago, I've had a bit of a dry spell too - I've met girls that I liked and met up with but it didn't lead to anything serious either.

If you're a nice, friendly and honest person as you described, then I'm sure you will meet the right person sooner or later. Remember that its better waiting for someone who is worth the time and effort than to be with someone who is not going to treat you right. So don't feel disheartened or that you have to change yourself. You certainly don't need to re-invent yourself!

You have to remain confident, as some people have correctly said, and give yourself the best opportunity. That to me means that you get involved in activities you enjoy so you can meet like minded people and going to places, and in general socialising with those who share similar interests! Don't keep count of how long you've been single - that will just get you down. Its very easy to start doubting yourself at times like this. I know I do it sometimes too. Its important to focus on the positives - you're going to graduate this academic year, take up a job soon, and start meeting a whole new set of people. It only takes a moment to meet someone and that can happen anytime! Perhaps when you're least expecting to! So keep smiling and best of luck!

[Guy Secretan]

What kind of guys do you go for maybe you should lower your standards and go for uglier guys. Also do you think you are genuinely attractive or people just say that to be nice maybe you should be more outgoing etc.