[Anonymous]

Hey there, (so sorry this is really long)

Well where do I start, I never really thought I had something like adhd, because when I think of adhd I think of a crazy child running around splashing paint on the walls lol. I recently read about adult adhd and I don't know if I am just being paranoid (I am 20 btw).

Well first of all, these are my reasons :

When I was younger my family said apparently I was crazy and I had the nickname of "the demolisher", apparently once pushing the tv from the stand on to the floor :O

My friends say I talk and interrupt during conversations, way to much ..they say its almost as if I am not paying attention to them and to be frank when I'm having a conversation with someone my mind actually wanders off elsewhere and I completely forget what they are talking about and get distracted by the surroundings...my mum has always said my downfall in life would be my listening skills and procrastination ((

In school I got good grades, however thinking back I was often day dreaming in class and every report card since my first year at school to the last says that I lack focus and that I distract people and am easily distracted myself. I was often always the one sent out of the class. (I think the behaviour went unnoticed really as I got really good grades as said before)

I have recently been asked to leave university where I was in my second year doing a science degree due to lack of attendance and work handed in , this has really been a wake up call for me about my procrastination as this is really really bad with me. This year it was so bad that I would not even hand in coursework thinking "oh I will hand it in... a week after the deadline", then never getting around to doing it. I procrastinate about EVERYTHING..or starting it then stopping 5minutes later...but this is a problem for most students I guess.

I'm also extremely IMPULSIVE, like so so impulsive..I will just change my mind in like 2 seconds and this has really been the downfall of me moving to university as it meant I was basically out drinking and partying every night as I just couldn't say no...or would say no then 20minutes later go out. When I go shopping I go crazy then regret everything I have done. This has lead me currently being in such debt its unreal and not even being able to pay my rent.I have never ever in my life been able to money manage..I swear I have someone who raids my bank account regularly

I really think I have adhd but still not sure, I want to book a doctors appointment but I think my mum is just going to call me silly and stupid and say I am blaming all my mistakes on something else because I do not want to take responsibility. She doesn't believe in these sort of disorders but when looking back I have always been the difficult and crazy one of the family getitng into law and financial troubles. My mum always asks why I can't be normal like my brother and cousins and this really hurts (

This has caused a massive rift with my family as they told me that I am just selfish..ungrateful and my mum called me evil for all the stuff I do but I really do try hard but I just cant explain it ....Could this be adhd??

(p.s..sorry about the length)

[salmon-of-doubt]

This does sound like ADHD, the history too suggests it.

If you decide to go to the doc's about this then make sure you stress about how this is affecting your life. Its thought to be hereditary, is there anyone in you imeadiate family with this disorder?

About a 2 years ago i tried to get tested for ADD, i was referred on about 4 times, untill i was told that the root of my 'problem'(insomnia, spaced out/daydreamy, low attention span, anxiety etc) was that i drank too much coffee. I don't drink coffee.
Even if you don't have ADHD,make sure you know where you stand.

This books a fantastic reference - http://books.google.co.uk/books/abou...d=z83R_BNQ9hcC
best wishes.

[pinkangelgirl]

eh, i do all this too!

I pushed the TV off the stand once too

[triplexm]

I read your post and was basically nodding and going 'this was me' the entire way through. Like you, I had excellent grades in school but I was a terrible procrastinator. By which I mean truly, truly terrible. I always put off assignments right up to the very, very last minute - when it was so close to being due that I was practically on the verge of a panic attack, and ready to burst into tears if Word took 10 seconds longer than usual to start up. This can be truly hellish and cause a lot of emotional distress if you pride yourself on being a high achiever. Contrary to what a lot of people think, procrastination is quite common amongst perfectionists (look up neurotic perfectionism if you're interested) and isn't necessarily anything to do with being lazy.

Anyway, similarly to you I was pretty wild. I developed a lifestyle of non-stop partying and clubbing, sometimes not coming back home for days. Made a lot of impulsive decisions purely on a whim - most of them bad ones that have left me with other problems I'm still dealing with. I was also a compulsive shopper; once I walked into a shop, it was like I was on some sort of drug high, and I just couldn't stop. I finally got my credit card taken away after spending 7000 on a designer bag (still have problems managing cash though!)

Like you, I began to suspect I had ADHD after reading up on it but my parents didn't buy it. They thought it was pretty laughable that I could have graduated from school with top marks and academic awards, and gotten a place at a top if I had problems with focus and concentrating. In the end, I saw a psychiatrist without telling them who did end up diagnosing me with ADHD and put me on Ritalin. I can't stress how much it's helped me rein in my impulses and get my life back together. There's a lot less anxiety obviously but also, what's made me happier is that my relationships with my family and friends have improved so much (by the way, me and my psychiatrist talked to my parents about it after I saw him). With all the bad or silly decisions you make, you often end up inadvertently upsetting other people. I know I did.

Personally, I'd advise you to go and discuss how you're feeling with a psychiatrist. Ask your parents to come along - after all, it can't hurt. You'll just be given a professional opinion and explanation, which will at least put an end to all the worries and wondering. Good luck

[Anonymous]

(Original post by triplexm)
I read your post and was basically nodding and going 'this was me' the entire way through. Like you, I had excellent grades in school but I was a terrible procrastinator. By which I mean truly, truly terrible. I always put off assignments right up to the very, very last minute - when it was so close to being due that I was practically on the verge of a panic attack, and ready to burst into tears if Word took 10 seconds longer than usual to start up. This can be truly hellish and cause a lot of emotional distress if you pride yourself on being a high achiever. Contrary to what a lot of people think, procrastination is quite common amongst perfectionists (look up neurotic perfectionism if you're interested) and isn't necessarily anything to do with being lazy.

Anyway, similarly to you I was pretty wild. I developed a lifestyle of non-stop partying and clubbing, sometimes not coming back home for days. Made a lot of impulsive decisions purely on a whim - most of them bad ones that have left me with other problems I'm still dealing with. I was also a compulsive shopper; once I walked into a shop, it was like I was on some sort of drug high, and I just couldn't stop. I finally got my credit card taken away after spending 7000 on a designer bag (still have problems managing cash though!)

Like you, I began to suspect I had ADHD after reading up on it but my parents didn't buy it. They thought it was pretty laughable that I could have graduated from school with top marks and academic awards, and gotten a place at a top if I had problems with focus and concentrating. In the end, I saw a psychiatrist without telling them who did end up diagnosing me with ADHD and put me on Ritalin. I can't stress how much it's helped me rein in my impulses and get my life back together. There's a lot less anxiety obviously but also, what's made me happier is that my relationships with my family and friends have improved so much (by the way, me and my psychiatrist talked to my parents about it after I saw him). With all the bad or silly decisions you make, you often end up inadvertently upsetting other people. I know I did.

Personally, I'd advise you to go and discuss how you're feeling with a psychiatrist. Ask your parents to come along - after all, it can't hurt. You'll just be given a professional opinion and explanation, which will at least put an end to all the worries and wondering. Good luck

I am going to make an appointment to see my doctor,I have been procrastinating about this since december...but I am going to do it!!

I completley get your point on the shopping though...In Jan I spent like £600...in less than an hour..and this was during sales!! It really is like a drug high its like the music is pumping, heart racing..buy buy buy, and when you are doubting wether to get something, you just think "oh I can always bring it back"..which of course you never do! I felt so so guilty and procrastinated about taking it all back untill it was too late!!

The partying also, thats why I basically failed this year, could leave my student house and not come back for 5/6 days at a time!! All this has lead to me not being able to pay my rent, which I am currently four months behind on (£1500), my mum has said she is not going to help me out and to be honest I dont blame her, you see last year 2010/2011 she had to pay £4500 of my rent because the same thing happened and I went crazy with my student finance and was in major rent arrears!! This year has been better but thats just because I was living in cheaper accomodation.

I am going to go see what they say and then tell my parents, I've got African parents you see and adhd is something they dont believe in -.-

[triplexm]

I think you're making an awesome decision Although our parents almost always have our best interests at heart, that doesn't make their views infallible. My mum is Asian and her attitude is very similar to your mother; she's very skeptical about mental health issues existing in someone who seems, more or less, 'normal'. Having health issues does not necessarily equate to crazy lunatic in a padded room! Sadly, a lot of people can't make that differentiation. ADHD, in particular, is very easy. to write off - nothing more than a convenient excuse for 'always getting into trouble" and all that "reckless behaviour." Actually, just went back to your first post again, and wasn't surprised that you've also been hearing this.

What makes it very obvious to me that you do indeed have a problem is the extent to which your issues are interfering with your life. If you've been asked to take a year off uni, clearly there's a problem and that needs to be addressed. It isn't going to just go away; on the contrary, it's far more likely to get worse the longer you put it off. By the way, I also was asked (read: forced) to take a leave from uni, although the primary reason was because of my eating disorder. I've found the absence of any schedule whatsoever, the complete freedom I've had to whatever the hell I wanted whenever I wanted to be very, very detrimental. When there are no longer any real responsibilities, it's so easy to just spiral out of control from one bad decision to another.

Anyway, I'm blathering. Definitely think booking an appointment with your GP for some time in the near future is an excellent idea. As for the shopping, I'm afraid it's still like that for me….you're totally right. It's like being jacked up on some crazy stimulant - heartbeat racing, dashing around like a maniac, as though there's some sort of time limit before you have to get out of the shop and back to reality. When in reality the only limit is your credit card's. If you currently are using one, I really advise you to put it away for now if you can't bear to cut it up. I'm even so hopeless with debit cards that I pretty much stick to using cash. Or staying out of shops. Ah well, I shall live, I suppose :roll eyes: (ALSO: avoid online shopping like the plague - this is where money becomes an abstract concept altogether)

I really hope things go well for you - it sounds like you're dealing with a lot of pressure, both financially and with your family. And of course I can imagine how much you'd like to get back to school. I'm finally returning to uni next month and I am so excited to get my life back on track. I hope you let us all know what happens and when things start getting better. I have every faith you can get back on track And in the meantime, don't forget to take care of yourself!

[Rosie1422]

I think it's great you're going to see the doctor about your concerns. My older brother (he's 32) has ADHD and these past few years have been the first time he's ever managed to see a course through to the end, which is great, but he ended up faking ill off his work in order to cram for it and financially he's just spent all of his money and credit on his wedding despite his plan to move to university and the fact his wife is pregnant. My mum was the opposite to your parents though, and had to fight to be taken seriously with her worries, as ADHD wasn't a common diagnosis back when my brother was a toddler and doctors thought my mum was making excuses for bad parenting.

There are ways of dealing with it, should you be diagnosed with it, whether it be medication or adopting a strict routine to help with organisation, motivation and the resistance of impulses, with the help of others to keep you on track. My brother seems of the opinion that now he's older he no longer has it and so he doesn't deal with it, which is really challenging. One month when his behaviour during conversations was so much worse, I got a book on adult ADHD to try and understand more and when he saw it he seemed to think I thought I had ADHD. So it's excellent that you're spotting your own behaviour enough to want to enquire about it. Good luck and I hope things improve for you!