Girl asked my husband to lunch, a bit weird?

If it's clear that it's just a social thing, why not? It's just eating and chatting.

If they've only briefly met in passing and they don't work together, then yeah, it is quite possible that she didn't ask him to lunch to get to know a new colleague, but rather asked him out in a romantic capacity. Or she could just be really friendly? Either way, there's nothing wrong with a married man or married woman going for lunch with a member of the opposite sex - BUT if she doesn't know he's married and is construing it as a date, or her intentions are to make it something more than a friendly lunch, then you have the problem! So long as your husband makes sure that she knows he's married and is only interested in friendship, and she isn't flirting with him, it's fine, but I can see why you'd feel uncomfortable. It's not that you don't trust your husband, but rather, understandably, you're not crazy about the idea of him being alone with a woman who may very well want to get him into bed.

But, I think it's even weirder that your husband asked your permission to go, and that you said he couldn't. Do you always tell him what he can and can't do?

I don't think it's weird at all. Maybe she's been asked by a manager to look after him, as he's a new starter, or maybe she's just being friendly?

I think you're overly paranoid. I assume you don't speak to any of your male colleagues then?


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I find this weird too. I can understand "I'm meeting a friend for lunch"; but asking permission, no.

At first I thought it was no big deal, because I thought maybe she just wanted to get to know him as a friend and whatever. Then you said she worked in another department and that sounded a tiny bit weird. But maybe she meant it as a proper date or maybe she didn't. We don't know and neither do you, that's your husband's job to find out. He needs to read the signs in order to determine the situation. Was she flirty? Did she spot his wedding ring? Etcetera.

I'm curious though. So when he asked you for permission to go with her on the lunch date and you said no what did he do?
And what reason is he going to give to this female colleague regarding why he can't do lunch.

I think it IS weird of this girl to immediately ask your husband out to lunch after only "a quick introduction" as you put it. But, I think it's even weirder that your husband asked your permission to go, and that you said he couldn't. Do you always tell him what he can and can't do?

Their boss who introduced them said that he was married first thing, I found it weird too as apart from my husband's name that's the only thing he told this girl.

My husband said ok to not having lunch with her. I told him he could say whatever excuse, and he said he'll probably say he can't afford to buy lunch at the moment, hopefully if it's work related then he wouldn't have been rude. if it's something else, we'll deal with it again.

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It's just lunch, not as if she's asked him to bone her, I think you have insecurities, if you can't trust him why you married to him then. I would be out the door if any girl tells me who I can and can't meet

I think the op is getting way, way too much hate. Relationships and different for different people. What works for one couple might not work for another. Just because her husband wants to consult with her before he does something doesn't mean he's under the thumb. Especially as she also consults him. Imo its about mutual agreement/respect. He felt that the woman's proposal was weird so he asked his wife, probably looking for her opinion on the matter. Is it not important to value the opinion of your spouse? And I agree with a couple of other posters, going alone on a lunch date for anything but business is weird, and it doesn't seem like business as they don't even work in the same department. But I could be wrong about that.

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Their boss who introduced them said that he was married first thing, I found it weird too as apart from my husband's name that's the only thing he told this girl.

I find that a bit of an odd thing to do too

Are you saying the boss said "Hey GirlName, I want to introduce you to BoyName, he is married"

Hang on



This is a bit contradictory

He's told me that the boss said this, after I've started this thread so had to post it afterwards.



Anyway ... if she knows he is married then she is probably just being friendly ... perhaps she is fed up with being friendly with people only to be hit on over lunch so was looking for a safe bet


If he takes lunch in and is short of money ... why didn't he just say so to her rather than bringing the problem home and upsetting you

I trust him, it's other girls I don't. Even if he won't do anything, still not nice if a girl is flirting with him. Also he also has asked me not to hang out with certain guys in the past so it's equal.

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