Parents want me to stay in London
I have an issue with my parents it seems. I'd like to go outside london for University but my parents want me to stay inside London because they believe I'd have less debt overall when I come out of Uni and that Universities in london has more prestige, and they really care about prestige. They believe that it's really important where you study.
So what I'm asking you guys is are they right? In terms of the finance, so what if I have more debt, I'm not going to be struggling through hell to pay it all back am I? My parents think I'm going to suffer for it and I don't think they're right. They have the financial side of University all wrong.
And the whole idea of where you study, I've read a lot of the threads here on TSR regarding that issue, and the general consensus is that it actually doesn't matter. What I think matters mostly is the transferable skills and the work experience you get as well as that 2:1 that employers like. Then again there's the whole 'That person's from Oxford, the other's from London Met.' argument. So yeah, what do you guys think I should do?
Please note that if I do stay in London, I'd be living with my parents (I really can't stay another 3 years under that roof) but I'd probably have more money to spend. I'd just have to put off that indepedence and freedom for a few more years.
Then again I really want to get away from my parents.
So what I'm asking you guys is are they right? In terms of the finance, so what if I have more debt, I'm not going to be struggling through hell to pay it all back am I? My parents think I'm going to suffer for it and I don't think they're right. They have the financial side of University all wrong.
And the whole idea of where you study, I've read a lot of the threads here on TSR regarding that issue, and the general consensus is that it actually doesn't matter. What I think matters mostly is the transferable skills and the work experience you get as well as that 2:1 that employers like. Then again there's the whole 'That person's from Oxford, the other's from London Met.' argument. So yeah, what do you guys think I should do?
Please note that if I do stay in London, I'd be living with my parents (I really can't stay another 3 years under that roof) but I'd probably have more money to spend. I'd just have to put off that indepedence and freedom for a few more years.
Then again I really want to get away from my parents.
Scroll to see replies
Don't listen to your parents, go away for school, there are tons of schools that are outside London that are reputable. No, you won't struggle with the debt, it will be manageable, and you won't even have to make payments until you're making 20k+ or whatever on the new fees. Do what you want.
You want to move out for university. So I guess that's what you should do. It ain't your parents degree or debt. Yes, you'll have less debt but you'll be living in misery for the next 3 years (since you 'really want to get away from your parents').
I suggest you do what you feel is best for you and based on what you've told us... Get outta that house!
I suggest you do what you feel is best for you and based on what you've told us... Get outta that house!
Original post by sarahoo
Don't listen to your parents, go away for school, there are tons of schools that are outside London that are reputable. No, you won't struggle with the debt, it will be manageable, and you won't even have to make payments until you're making 20k+ or whatever on the new fees. Do what you want.
Yeah I was thinking that I'd have to go rogue if I wanted to pursue this, like do the University application on my own and deceive them, but I'm thinking about the repercussions of doing that. I won't really have a home to go back to when they kick me out of campus because of holidays or whatever, so unless I stay with a friend or earn enough money and get a job to get my own place, I'd be pretty much homeless or something.
I'm also thinking if it's even possible to apply to Uni solely on your own. Aren't there parts where your parents are needed? Like signing for things and maybe even student finance? I'm not sure they'd be willing to comply with it all if I decided to ignore them and go rogue.
Original post by acidboot3r
I'm also thinking if it's even possible to apply to Uni solely on your own. Aren't there parts where your parents are needed? Like signing for things and maybe even student finance? I'm not sure they'd be willing to comply with it all if I decided to ignore them and go rogue.
University is for adults. You don't need your parents permission to apply. You don't need anyone's permission. You don't even NEED your parents signature/permission for finance because once again, student finance is for adults. Yes, your parents can support your finance application but it is by no means compulsory.
Apply for the Uni's that you want to go to
And then if you happen to get into a London University, and you want to go, then you can tell your parents "I did it so that I could be in London with you!"
And then if you happen to get into a London University, and you want to go, then you can tell your parents "I did it so that I could be in London with you!"
Hrrms, now that you say that, going rogue certainly seems like something I'd be able to do. It's just the matter of deciding if I want to harm the relationship between me and my parents for this.
Original post by nataliekwong
Apply for the Uni's that you want to go to
And then if you happen to get into a London University, and you want to go, then you can tell your parents "I did it so that I could be in London with you!"
And then if you happen to get into a London University, and you want to go, then you can tell your parents "I did it so that I could be in London with you!"
Hahaha.
I'm thinking of doing a compromise really. You get 5 uni choices. 2 or 3 can be in London and the rest can be outside. If a Uni outside London accepts me then I'm going. That's the best deal they're going to get.
Original post by acidboot3r
Hahaha.
I'm thinking of doing a compromise really. You get 5 uni choices. 2 or 3 can be in London and the rest can be outside. If a Uni outside London accepts me then I'm going. That's the best deal they're going to get.
I'm thinking of doing a compromise really. You get 5 uni choices. 2 or 3 can be in London and the rest can be outside. If a Uni outside London accepts me then I'm going. That's the best deal they're going to get.
Do what you think is the best.
Its like saying - don't do what your friends all do..lawl
just choose the universities you like the best
I'm sure your parents will learn to be happy with whatever university you decide to go to!
Original post by lilyobz
London is very expensive
but didn't he say that his parents already live in london?
..so it really wouldn't make much of a difference LOL
or it might not make any difference><
The Unis that I'm currently looking at right now are:
Coventry
De Montfort
Hertfordshire
Buckingham
There were a few others but I can't really seem to remember.
And yeah, since I'm living with my parents, things like rent, food and probably even clothes would be covered by them.
Coventry
De Montfort
Hertfordshire
Buckingham
There were a few others but I can't really seem to remember.
And yeah, since I'm living with my parents, things like rent, food and probably even clothes would be covered by them.
Original post by sarahoo
Don't listen to your parents, go away for school, there are tons of schools that are outside London that are reputable. No, you won't struggle with the debt, it will be manageable, and you won't even have to make payments until you're making 20k+ or whatever on the new fees. Do what you want.
i agree.
london is the most expensive city in britain. so the only way you could save is by living with your parents. but what happens when you get to be forty and want to leave and marry and your parents say, "no son, no need to leave, we can put your wife in the spare room." of course your parents want you to be tethered to them, but you need to be free!
yes, leave london, see another part of the world, live and grow.
Original post by acidboot3r
They believe that it's really important where you study.
So what I'm asking you guys is are they right? In terms of the finance, so what if I have more debt, I'm not going to be struggling through hell to pay it all back am I?
Then again I really want to get away from my parents.
They believe that it's really important where you study.
So what I'm asking you guys is are they right? In terms of the finance, so what if I have more debt, I'm not going to be struggling through hell to pay it all back am I?
Then again I really want to get away from my parents.
Your parents definitely have a point about prestige but to be honest a lot of that is dependant on what you are studying. Some of the finance courses or things like law carry a lot more weight from the older universities but for the most part, prestige isn't something to get too worked-up over.
In my opinion it's far more important to find a programme of study that you feel suits you well and will give you the skills and training you want to let you chase the kind of careers that interest you. Find a university you're comfortable in and a course that you think you'll do well in.
As for the financial aspect, you're going to come out of uni with a bucket of debt either way (odds on) so that's not something to get upset over. As long as you're willing to accept that studying costs money and that the debt will be on your head then there's nothing else to say on that matter.
If you really want out of London, go for it
Original post by acidboot3r
The Unis that I'm currently looking at right now are:
Coventry
De Montfort
Hertfordshire
Buckingham
There were a few others but I can't really seem to remember.
And yeah, since I'm living with my parents, things like rent, food and probably even clothes would be covered by them.
Coventry
De Montfort
Hertfordshire
Buckingham
There were a few others but I can't really seem to remember.
And yeah, since I'm living with my parents, things like rent, food and probably even clothes would be covered by them.
cov n leicester won't be as bad as the bucks area...tho herts should also be ok. tbh, depending on how much loans u get, u 'may' be able to save some money towards summer rental and if u push yourself to find a pt job, u should be ok.
pends what course u wanna do.
going by my personal exp, i can only offer the following advice. if u want to go anywhere, then go. don't allow your parents to stop u. i don't say this to be disrespectful but because i know that ultimately, if u stay home to please them, u 'may' feel resentful...even if u will be better off...and u have already indicated u don't wanna be under their roof for too much longer...
if u go, u may have hard times (tho that's dependent on u and job and so forth) but, u will have your independence.
guess it's down to what matters more and whether u feel u will be able to deal with the initial estrangement, should u choose to apply/live outside of london.
Original post by acidboot3r
Yeah I was thinking that I'd have to go rogue if I wanted to pursue this, like do the University application on my own and deceive them, but I'm thinking about the repercussions of doing that. I won't really have a home to go back to when they kick me out of campus because of holidays or whatever, so unless I stay with a friend or earn enough money and get a job to get my own place, I'd be pretty much homeless or something.
Haha, well. I'm from the states, and in the states, financial aid--what we call funding--isn't for EVERYONE, not everyoen can get a government sponsored loan, and since my dad made too much money for me to qualify for a government loan, my choice to go to uni was basically "go to the local state university which is in my hometown". Along with this, my dad said he would not pay for uni (which was my only option since I couldn't get a government loan, aside from getting a private loan with 13%+ interest, non deferred), unless I studied a subject he wanted to study.
This kind of talking went on for years, while I wasted my life away, essentially, though I did work and get a lot of valuable experience. I was lucky that I had a lot of marketable skills--IT work, web design, internet marketing, etc--so my time wasn't completely wasted working minimum wage in an area where I couldn't move up or go anywhere in life, but it wasn't until I grew up enough to face my dad and let him realize I was an adult that he fully acknowledged my ability to make my own choicse in life. Believe me, this involved a lot of... loud noises, heh, we argued, yelled, etc, and my dad is a pretty scary guy, wheras I'm a small, unimposing girl, but now, I mean only now, does my dad respect the choices I make and support me. Just because you stand up to your parents, doesn't mean they'll disown you. It might be tough, but it takes a lot to really ruin a relationship with family.
So you're saying I do need my parents for the maintenance loans and grants?
And we discussed pros and cons yesterday and he explained to me the finances (which were wrong) and the important of getting into a well known uni. He said the word 'should' a lot which means that it's a command, but I think deep down they're commanding me.
And we discussed pros and cons yesterday and he explained to me the finances (which were wrong) and the important of getting into a well known uni. He said the word 'should' a lot which means that it's a command, but I think deep down they're commanding me.
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/students/student-loans-tuition-fees-changes
^ Some info to show your parents on student finance.
I'd suggest talking to them about the importance of course content, and how x, y and z unis outside London have the course that you want to do, but there's no uni with a comparable course in London.
What sort of grades have you been predicted? That will obviously influence which unis you can realistically apply for - and your parents need to realise that not all unis in London are good, just as not all unis outside London are bad!
^ Some info to show your parents on student finance.
I'd suggest talking to them about the importance of course content, and how x, y and z unis outside London have the course that you want to do, but there's no uni with a comparable course in London.
What sort of grades have you been predicted? That will obviously influence which unis you can realistically apply for - and your parents need to realise that not all unis in London are good, just as not all unis outside London are bad!
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Dental hygiene to cosmetic dentist
- unsure with what to do
- parents wont let me move out (ucl)
- I want to work in law firm in London, parents hostile
- Strict Muslim dad wants to move with me
- Complicated situation
- Anyone here taking a BA/BMus Degree in Music?
- UCL,Warwick..which one should I choose? Help me
- Moving out for Uni
- Cant Decide on Commuting to Uni or Not
- parents aren't letting me go on a uni residential - what do i do?
- Londoners who went to Uni of Edinburgh how was it?
- Urgent ucas advice
- QMUL or Oxford?
- Don't know if i should stay at home or leave for uni?
- Minimum Maintenance Loan, Despite Studying in London
- How to convince Muslim parents to let me get a nosejob
- Confused on small things about uni
- LSE 2024 Entry Accommodation
- Parents won’t let me leave for uni
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 2 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?Trending
Last reply 2 days ago
Is it true that British unis are prejudiced towards degrees from Scottish unis?Last reply 2 days ago
If the Russell Group was now a fair representation of what it still claims to beLast reply 1 month ago
Is University of Birmingham prestigious and respected well enough in UK ?
