why are guys so much more laid back than girls?
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Sssslllllaaaaaaaggggg!!!!!!
tbh I think you are dealing with your own internalised misogyny issues. You will have an easier time of your relationships with women (and indeed men) if you approach them with an open mind and without preconceptions of what your friendship will be like, and just remember that you can't get on with everyone. If you come across a bitchy woman, chalk it down to experience and move on with your life; attaching this negative feeling about her to her gender will only make it more difficult for you to form friendships with women, and the failure of these relationships will only lead to your prejudices being confirmed.
idk, in a way I used to feel the same way as you, I went to an all-girls' school and experienced bullying when I came out as a lesbian; my friends out of school at the time were mostly male and generally accepted me better. It was only with maturity that I realised a lot of it was down to my own tendency to try to make friends with the 'popular', bitchy girls, rather than the friendly girls further down the social pecking order staring in my face; those girls are now what I consider my best friends, and some of my male friends out of school turned out to be a shower of bastards.
idk, in a way I used to feel the same way as you, I went to an all-girls' school and experienced bullying when I came out as a lesbian; my friends out of school at the time were mostly male and generally accepted me better. It was only with maturity that I realised a lot of it was down to my own tendency to try to make friends with the 'popular', bitchy girls, rather than the friendly girls further down the social pecking order staring in my face; those girls are now what I consider my best friends, and some of my male friends out of school turned out to be a shower of bastards.
Original post by Rosa Arabelle
It's important not to generalize the attitudes of two guys you know onto all guys.
Yes, there may be some guys who are laid back, more open and much more confident than girls, but there are also some who are genuinely kind and sweet.
I think in your first example, you need to understand that not every guy will talk to a girl to "get something out of it".
Yes, there may be some guys who are laid back, more open and much more confident than girls, but there are also some who are genuinely kind and sweet.
I think in your first example, you need to understand that not every guy will talk to a girl to "get something out of it".
Being open and confident and being genuinely kind aren't mutually exclusive things...
Original post by pinkangelgirl
Im a girl and I have always got on with guys better because I always find they are more laid back.
I havent spoken to 1 male friend in about 4 years, we recently got in touch again and hes already suggested we go travelling together. Girls are so much hard work, like I find none of them talk to me unless i talk to them and stuff. I understand guys are often getting something out of it, but still, even travelling with someone youve not spoken to in that long is quite a big offer.
Another of my male friends (who again, im not really that close to) is away in America for a year and has invited me to go over and stay with him. He also sent me a card for my birthday and a little gift (nothing big).
But yeh, these are 2 examples and I know everyone will say they are just after sex etc (Im aware this may be part of it) but even just generally, I always find guys are more up for having a laugh and laid back and dont take every little thing seriously.
this post is being taken the wrong way by some. Im not generalising from 2 examples, and Im not saying its just confident guys who are after sex. Im just meaning that guys are much easier to be friends with, whereas girls you really have to put in ten folds of effort to be their friend.
Does anyone else find this?
I havent spoken to 1 male friend in about 4 years, we recently got in touch again and hes already suggested we go travelling together. Girls are so much hard work, like I find none of them talk to me unless i talk to them and stuff. I understand guys are often getting something out of it, but still, even travelling with someone youve not spoken to in that long is quite a big offer.
Another of my male friends (who again, im not really that close to) is away in America for a year and has invited me to go over and stay with him. He also sent me a card for my birthday and a little gift (nothing big).
But yeh, these are 2 examples and I know everyone will say they are just after sex etc (Im aware this may be part of it) but even just generally, I always find guys are more up for having a laugh and laid back and dont take every little thing seriously.
this post is being taken the wrong way by some. Im not generalising from 2 examples, and Im not saying its just confident guys who are after sex. Im just meaning that guys are much easier to be friends with, whereas girls you really have to put in ten folds of effort to be their friend.
Does anyone else find this?
Because we are simple, humble beings.
Ask yourself this would it still be the case if you were 10 stone heavier? If yes then congratulations on finding true friends in guys
Original post by chocoholic_x
Yeah I generally see what you mean. Like, for example, I have quite a cutting humour. I tend to insult people a lot, facetiously of course - I don't actually mean it! After getting to know people well, I tend to get quite a good idea of how far I can take it and usually, I can insult guys more heavily than girls as some can, after a while, take it personally. Also, insults of weights and looks in general are often off limits with girls.
But I reckon the women I'm friends with are more relaxed than most which I guess is the reason why I'm friends with them!
But I reckon the women I'm friends with are more relaxed than most which I guess is the reason why I'm friends with them!
you dont sound nice...
We are simply awesome 
i agree with the op 
Original post by Trottoir
you dont sound nice...
It's all banter
Original post by Trottoir
you dont sound nice...
Well its strange how people can be quite different in reality in comparison to the quick judgement you've made on one (light-hearted) comment made online.
Honestly, what are friendships without friendly insults directed at each other? (Banter as some call it).
Original post by DannyB123
It's all banter
Exactly!
I agree. I had a girl friend who had a go at me for not speaking to her much while I was busy. None of my close guy friends did that. They were actually excited to know what I've been upto rather than confronting me on why I haven't been out with them. Er... just simple things like that annoyed me.
I have some good laid back girl friends too though
I have some good laid back girl friends too though
I genuinely don't understand why girls don't get along with eachother. :/ - I hear this all the time.. girls prefer having guy friends.. and guys also prefer having guy friends.. what is wrong with girls having friends with girls? I'm sure you don't have genetically predisposed difficulties when it comes to leaving the cattiness and bitchiness at the door? Si?
People saying the boys are after sex - not neccesarily true.
In my experience:
In an all-girls group of friends, everyone is nice to each other to their face, paying each other compliments about their new haircut and tell each other how awesome each other are. Then when Girl A leaves the room, the rest talk to each other about how Girl A's new haircut makes her look like a bloke and that you've always thought she's a bit of a bitch.
An an all-boys group of friends, you tell one when they're being annoying, not-funny and make a point of calling them out on bull**** or showing off, then when boy A leaves the room, you say about how even though you give boy A a hard time, he's a laugh and a nice lad.
Also, if I don't talk to my friends who are girls for a while and then talk, sometimes I get a response as if to say 'yeah now you wanna talk to me, our friendship means nothing to you, omg, blah' yet if I talk to a boy for the first time in ages, no deal is made of it at all.
...Like I say, just my experience, I'm not saying this is the case with all males/females.
In my experience:
In an all-girls group of friends, everyone is nice to each other to their face, paying each other compliments about their new haircut and tell each other how awesome each other are. Then when Girl A leaves the room, the rest talk to each other about how Girl A's new haircut makes her look like a bloke and that you've always thought she's a bit of a bitch.
An an all-boys group of friends, you tell one when they're being annoying, not-funny and make a point of calling them out on bull**** or showing off, then when boy A leaves the room, you say about how even though you give boy A a hard time, he's a laugh and a nice lad.
Also, if I don't talk to my friends who are girls for a while and then talk, sometimes I get a response as if to say 'yeah now you wanna talk to me, our friendship means nothing to you, omg, blah' yet if I talk to a boy for the first time in ages, no deal is made of it at all.
...Like I say, just my experience, I'm not saying this is the case with all males/females.
Original post by Rosa Arabelle
It's important not to generalize the attitudes of two guys you know onto all guys.
Yes, there may be some guys who are laid back, more open and much more confident than girls, but there are also some who are genuinely kind and sweet.
I think in your first example, you need to understand that not every guy will talk to a girl to "get something out of it".
Yes, there may be some guys who are laid back, more open and much more confident than girls, but there are also some who are genuinely kind and sweet.
I think in your first example, you need to understand that not every guy will talk to a girl to "get something out of it".
This!
Could you just be subconsciously making yourself see them in a more laid back way or making yourself think you get on with them more?
I say that because i had a lot of male friends, i was always saying how they never bitch about you and they never judge you or moan. Until i got a really good girl mate and my whole opinion that guys are so much easier to get along with than girls changed as i saw both equally. Then i began seeing how bitchy boys are! they weren't bitchy about me, just about each other. If one of them wanted to see his girlfriend rather than go clubbing, all night he would be slated.
Your sex doesn't really change your personality. It's more the people you hang around with and they way that you were brought up, the way you are yourself.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by chocoholic_x
Well its strange how people can be quite different in reality in comparison to the quick judgement you've made on one (light-hearted) comment made online.
Honestly, what are friendships without friendly insults directed at each other? (Banter as some call it).
Honestly, what are friendships without friendly insults directed at each other? (Banter as some call it).
I think you have to know who you can banter with and who not though. Because some people take the so-called banter personally and it makes them feel bad about themselves/ resentful towards the person who said it. I know I'm not very good at taking insulting remarks very well even if I know they're meant as a joke, but the people who know me respect that and don't do it because I've made it clear that's how I feel about it. Some people aren't quite that direct on how they feel, so they end up getting hurt by it instead. It's all about judging a situation accurately and working from there I think...
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