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Ramblings on Edinburgh, rain & art.

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    Figured I might as well start one...I might even manage a whole year most likely I'll copy some stuff over from my blog (mother is insisting I update that on pain of death)...so here we are.

    There will definitely be rambling, there will definitely be rain (because it's Scotland) and if there isn't any art I will be immensely disappointed, given that I'm going to an art college. Meaning Edinburgh Collegr of Art (I'm STILL in shock!). If for some reason you don't know, ECA is considered one of the best art colleges in the UK, so I'm pretty amazed I got in. I've wanted to go there since I was thirteen, admittedly that was when I didn't have to pay I'll be dong Photography to start with, although I'm likely to switch to Intermedia. So for the next four years I'm living in Edinburgh. :cool:

    Scottish unis seem to start ridiculously early, my freshers week starts on the 8th of September (also when I move into halls). So tomorrow is my last full day at home here in Leicester :eek: Almost all my stuff is packed, mostly the stuff that came from my DSA order that isn't, and I have SO MANY boxes it's insane. I had no idea I even had that much stuff! Now it's pretty much hours away from happening I'm a bit anxious - I'm moving 350 miles up the country to spend four years in a city I've previously spent three days in to incur VAST amounts of debt (4 years of £9,000 fees...ugh). It better be bloody worth it...

    I'm really worried that I won't make any friends, the last 'real' friend I had was in primary school for goodness sake! I know people, there are people I'll say hi to...but I'm completely crap at actually forming relationships with people. Partly because I don't know what to do, partly due to anxiety/paranoia and partly because I simply don't trust people (as House is so fond of saying - people lie). So I have no idea how I'll get on, or how I'll cope. But enough of the depressing crap - this is my chance to leave all the **** stuff behind and spend all of my time doing what I love.

    See what I mean about the rambling?

    This is rambling, and at times full of depressing 'oh ****' moments and excess anxiety. Just so you're warned

    ALSO
    I like it when people comment on here! So if you have questions about art college or photography degrees or anything at all like that - or if you just want to say hi! - please do. It makes me feel special
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    Yay for the lovely person that repped that

    Okay. The majority of my stuff is in the camper van, meaning I've taken up the whole boot...and there's still a lot to go in. So I'm going to end up perched on the very end of the seat because the rest will be full of stuff. I only have to add cables & laptop to my overnight bag and chuck a pair of shoes in. Then it's all done! phew.

    There is a plan. Tomorrow we drive to some crappy holiday house in Northumberland; my parents insisted on going on holiday near me (isn't obvious all I want to do is get away?). Saturday we drive to Edinburgh, aiming to be there 11-12ish. I get my keys, find my flat and boxes are moved. I'm on the fourth floor, so it could take a while. Then we go shopping (and my mum will make a fuss because the nearest supermarket is a Tesco, which is apparently the devil incarnate), drop that off in my flat. Finally we walk across town to the Potterow studen union building to pick up my freshers pass & NUS card. Hopefully my parents then bugger off and I get to settle in.

    I have never had a brilliant relationship with any of my family, I'm an only child who spent her childhood hiding in books because there was no one to play with. I much prefer being alone, or with people I choose to be with. I'm moving so far away to get away from people I don't like and to make my parents realise I'm not an imbecile and I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. I'm still treated like I'm a child - I can cook, I can organise myself and I'm generally pretty with it. My parents seem entirely too fixated on the fact that I'm visually impaired (so I do depend on people a bit - I can't drive, for example) and have been depressed. Which in turn is convincing me that I won't cope, that I will slip back into depression...eh. Hardly productive really!

    And that's all the excitement. I'll post a picture of my flat if I remember
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    Good luck fellow Edinburgh'er!!
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    (Original post by 0Muzzles0)
    Good luck fellow Edinburgh'er!!
    Thanks

    Right...well, I'm sat in my room in halls. And I've just realised that I'm gonna be here until December...I don't quite know what to do with myself! My parents have just left, all my boxes are unpacked and stuff is roughly in the right place. I just need to neaten a few things up. I've collected my freshers pass and NUS card, we've gone food shopping.

    So far I've met one person. She's a few doors and corners around from me, but she seems nice and friendly. I'm far too exhausted to go to the ceilidh thing tonight - walking for half an hour to then spend four hours dancing around insanely sounds a bit too much right now! I'm not entirely comfortable that I'd get back here either, I mean...I don't have the best eyesight and I only got here today. Eek! I'm just...a bit lost right now. No panic attacks so far though I think I might go to the welcome party thing here in my halls, because I don't really (and I can't) spend all year shut in my room. My room is off the main corridor, there's another two rooms on this corridor and a post-grad lounge, so I do actually need to get off my arse to meet people. It's scary though :/

    I'm gonna be positive though! My flat is lovely, nicely laid out. I chose the unusual one, so I've ended up with FOUR windows, it's beautifully bright in here, which'll be perfect for drawing and good for my eyesight. Picture time

    The view from my windows
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    Looking up my room (there's a chair and table you can't see...and the rest of my bed)
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    Looking down my room from the kitchen area (to the left is a wardrobe and a random cupboard, to the right is the bathroom)
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    And my favourite bit - the kitchen I'm veggie, so there's no way I want strangers messing around with my pots and pans
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    Only problem is my hot water wasn't working earlier (fixed now, phew) and my hob is broken. So I can't cook anything But the guy is coming and going to fix bits and pieces of it... we FaceTimed my uncle in New York earlier to say hi, my second youngest cousin has started a new school too (he explained to her that I was attending a REALLY big girl school, awwh!). I'll probably ring my grandparents later...other than that I'm all ready really.

    I'm still terrified I won't make friends and that I won't cope, or that I'll have a massive nervous breakdown or something. But so far, things are good! It only rained a tiny bit too
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    You'll have a great time. My son's going into the fourth year at ECA and he's been very happy.
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    (Original post by carnationlilyrose)
    You'll have a great time. My son's going into the fourth year at ECA and he's been very happy.
    Oh awesome! Which course?



    Okay. I'm a total wimp. I went to the welcome party, I got talking to someone on the way down. But it was horrible - too noisy with crappy music and I just didn't know what to do. I stayed for about two minutes. Hiding in a different room. Cowardly or what?! I've never been to a party with just people my age. I've been going to music festivals since I was tiny but somehow that was horrible...I think if I stayed longer I'd have had a panic attack. Which wouldn't be a brilliant start.

    Chances of making friends now? Zero. People spoken to today? Two.

    I really hope tomorrow is better. I didn't think I'd feel this lost. My job still doesn't work. I've eaten toast since lunch and I feel sick. It sounds like someone is hoovering next door. I was brave and walked to the art college by myself earlier...even that made my anxiety bad & I knew what was happening! **** you anxiety.

    If I'm lucky I might go back to the party. By lucky I mean incredibly brave.
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    I'm Edinburgh born-and-bred, but recently left for a career. Best of luck in your new home, if you have any questions about the city then feel free to ask any of us

    Spoiler:
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    Just don't go proclaiming better knowledge of the place than the locals, as too many students tend to. The "natives" take deadly serious exception to this, so just a friendly warning :yes:
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    (Original post by twinlensreflex)
    Oh awesome! Which course?



    Okay. I'm a total wimp. I went to the welcome party, I got talking to someone on the way down. But it was horrible - too noisy with crappy music and I just didn't know what to do. I stayed for about two minutes. Hiding in a different room. Cowardly or what?! I've never been to a party with just people my age. I've been going to music festivals since I was tiny but somehow that was horrible...I think if I stayed longer I'd have had a panic attack. Which wouldn't be a brilliant start.

    Chances of making friends now? Zero. People spoken to today? Two.

    I really hope tomorrow is better. I didn't think I'd feel this lost. My job still doesn't work. I've eaten toast since lunch and I feel sick. It sounds like someone is hoovering next door. I was brave and walked to the art college by myself earlier...even that made my anxiety bad & I knew what was happening! **** you anxiety.

    If I'm lucky I might go back to the party. By lucky I mean incredibly brave.
    Painting. You sound like you're having a bit of a rough start. Don't worry. There are plenty of people like you and you won't meet every friend you're ever going to meet on day one. If you don't like parties like that, don't go. Other people who don't like parties like that probably won't go either and so you won't meet like-minded people there, if that makes sense! There will be hundreds of different opportunities to meet people in different circumstances. Quite apart from anything else, you'll be sharing studio space with quite a few of them, so there's going to be somebody you can strike up a conversation with. Your university life doesn't spring fully formed from your experiences in freshers' week. It takes time, so take it slowly. Have a walk around town and get your bearings a bit tomorrow instead of facing people, if you don't feel like it. Rome wasn't built in a day.
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    Your room(s) look amazing! Not the best views but you really do have great lighting! I've talked to my friend about Edinburgh for art but she said as great as it is, it's too far for her (and I'm no longer doing art exactly). I really hope you have a great time I know what you mean about anxiety making it difficult, I'll be moving in less than 2 weeks and I'm really nervous about that too. That welcome party isn't the be all and end all of your social life; once classes/lectures start then you'll meet more people and you might make friends through friends remain positive and best of luck to you

    *subscribed because I like your room and I am nosey*
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    (Original post by ch0llima)
    I'm Edinburgh born-and-bred, but recently left for a career. Best of luck in your new home, if you have any questions about the city then feel free to ask any of us

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Just don't go proclaiming better knowledge of the place than the locals, as too many students tend to. The "natives" take deadly serious exception to this, so just a friendly warning :yes:
    Whoo! Hello native ppft, I know very little about Edinburgh - I can find the university library, the art college and the castle xD Plus I know stuff from the Inspector Rebus books

    (Original post by carnationlilyrose)
    Painting. You sound like you're having a bit of a rough start. Don't worry. There are plenty of people like you and you won't meet every friend you're ever going to meet on day one. If you don't like parties like that, don't go. Other people who don't like parties like that probably won't go either and so you won't meet like-minded people there, if that makes sense! There will be hundreds of different opportunities to meet people in different circumstances. Quite apart from anything else, you'll be sharing studio space with quite a few of them, so there's going to be somebody you can strike up a conversation with. Your university life doesn't spring fully formed from your experiences in freshers' week. It takes time, so take it slowly. Have a walk around town and get your bearings a bit tomorrow instead of facing people, if you don't feel like it. Rome wasn't built in a day.
    Thank you - that was really helpful. I tend to forget really obvious things when I'm anxious! I'm sure I'll meet people during studio time and lectures, plus there's an ECA meet & greet on Tuesday

    (Original post by sliceofcake)
    Your room(s) look amazing! Not the best views but you really do have great lighting! I've talked to my friend about Edinburgh for art but she said as great as it is, it's too far for her (and I'm no longer doing art exactly). I really hope you have a great time I know what you mean about anxiety making it difficult, I'll be moving in less than 2 weeks and I'm really nervous about that too. That welcome party isn't the be all and end all of your social life; once classes/lectures start then you'll meet more people and you might make friends through friends remain positive and best of luck to you

    *subscribed because I like your room and I am nosey*
    Amazingly expensive - yes! £6,000+ for 43 weeks :eek: it is lovely though! And well worth it. If you stare really hard out of one window you can kinda see the castle...! It is very far from pretty much everywhere, but I've had my heart set on ECA since I was 13 (and I never thought I'd get in!), so I couldn't really say no! At least I'm not the only anxious one as well What're you doing? I'm curious now.



    Gave up on party - so I'm sat in my room eating olives and drinking tea. :cool: I resorted one of my desk drawers too There's still no people in my teeny tiny corridor, hopefully they'll move in tomorrow! My grandparents in America just video called me, so they got a a nice little tour of my room (and I got to see their cats and dog - oh I miss my cat already! ). I'm not as anxious now though Aaaand I have nothing else to add...maybe tomorrow once I've left the building (there's a band I'd like to see in the evening and a few things during the day)
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    You sound a bit better already.
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    (Original post by twinlensreflex)
    Amazingly expensive - yes! £6,000+ for 43 weeks :eek: it is lovely though! And well worth it. If you stare really hard out of one window you can kinda see the castle...! It is very far from pretty much everywhere, but I've had my heart set on ECA since I was 13 (and I never thought I'd get in!), so I couldn't really say no! At least I'm not the only anxious one as well What're you doing? I'm curious now.



    Gave up on party - so I'm sat in my room eating olives and drinking tea. :cool: I resorted one of my desk drawers too There's still no people in my teeny tiny corridor, hopefully they'll move in tomorrow! My grandparents in America just video called me, so they got a a nice little tour of my room (and I got to see their cats and dog - oh I miss my cat already! ). I'm not as anxious now though Aaaand I have nothing else to add...maybe tomorrow once I've left the building (there's a band I'd like to see in the evening and a few things during the day)
    Ahahaha... wow, that really is expensive! But if you can afford it then definitely worth it. I'm doing history of art, or rather I will be once term starts!

    I agree with carnationlilyrose, you do sound better already. Glad you've settled in some more
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    (Original post by twinlensreflex)
    Amazingly expensive - yes! £6,000+ for 43 weeks :eek: it is lovely though!
    Portsburgh Court?
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    (Original post by sliceofcake)
    Ahahaha... wow, that really is expensive! But if you can afford it then definitely worth it. I'm doing history of art, or rather I will be once term starts!

    I agree with carnationlilyrose, you do sound better already. Glad you've settled in some more
    Ooh lovely I'm looking forward to my visual culture/history lectures

    Aye, my brain has started to behave again


    (Original post by carnationlilyrose)
    Portsburgh Court?
    Nah - I'm in the iQ buildings. I decided I wouldn't want to be so close, I like having a walk to & from
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    (Original post by twinlensreflex)

    Nah - I'm in the iQ buildings. I decided I wouldn't want to be so close, I like having a walk to & from
    I figured it would be one or the other - the eye-watering cost is still a vivid memory for me...
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    (Original post by carnationlilyrose)
    I figured it would be one or the other - the eye-watering cost is still a vivid memory for me...
    Oh I know...hopefully I'll have a flatshare or something next year. *crosses fingers*

    Hob fixing STILL hasn't turned up. So I still can't cook. I think someone is moving into a flat on my corridor though.

    It's been sunny most of the day, which made me happy. I was doing okay, but now I've just kind of lost it again. I was meant to be going to some fair-trade free buffet thing, but I really don't feel up to it - I won't be able to see what's going on and it's just...I don't want to make an idiot of myself. I need to do something though. I just...wish I had someone to go with me or something. I'm crap at meeting people (as already proved...). This was meant to be a happy 'whoo I'm in Edinburgh and it's lovely' blog. Instead it's turned into a big pile of anxiety.

    I've been awake since 6am. I didn't sleep much. I was going to see a band in one of the student union buildings tonight, but it doesn't start until 8 and I don't know when it finishes. I'm scared to be out in the dark by myself. Even if it's just waiting for a taxi.

    I think I'm just going to walk around instead - I need some stamps and some flour. I'm hardly going to meet people doing either of those. I need to hand a form in at the central library, so I could do that as well. Then i'm just going to end up back here not knowing what to do with myself.

    I was so desperate to come here...I thought I hated being at home, and I do hate it...but it's still home. And I know home. I can find my way around blindfolded most likely! Leicester is manageable, I know which buses go where and where things are. I forget how much I hate change and how I just really can't deal with it.

    I'm going to stop whinging (no, honestly) and get off my ass and do something. I don't know why I thought moving would suddenly gift me with the ability to make friends, it hasn't worked before. I was so excited for freshers...and now...just no. I want lectures to start, I want my studio space all set up so I can spend my day there instead of here. I just want to be doing something.

    I'm sure I said no more whinging. I'm really going to go do something now. I'm sorry this has turned into such a depressing ramble :/

    Things will get better. They have to.
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    I have flour, I explored and wandered for two hours. I can find my way to the art college, Grassmarket and Teviot without a map. And I know the way back! Knowing where things are helps a lot. So I might make it to see Laki Mera tonight...I have a taxi number in my phone.

    I couldn't find the right library - I found the National library which wasn't what I wanted. When it's open I might go look at some of the exhibitions though and whilst I was out my hob was fixed

    I haven't spoken to anyone apart from ringing my mum, person in the office and people in shops. Eugh.
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    It's really early days. Not everyone will be there yet. Just about everyone will be feeling shades of what you are feeling. It's the slump after the adrenalin rush of getting there, and more chemical than anything. Tomorrow is Monday and things will get going. Sunday is a gloomy day. As it's freshers, the old hands won't have got back yet, so there are fewer people around. Once term's up and running, it's a different place. Have a stroll up and down Lothian road. Go to the Meadows. Buy yourself some amazing stationery from Paper Tiger, browse the jewellery at Ocean, go and have a coffee and cake at Falko's up in Bruntsfield. God, I wish I was there!
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    Oh don't tempt me with stationery! I could easily spend my whole student loan in pens alone...might check it out tomorrow though

    I've been painting patterns (so glad I have a box easel) and making soup. Tried to blend soup with not enough liquid covering blender...sprayed mostly over my arm. So now I have very watery soup! I'm hoping if I leave it simmering long enough it'll thicken a bit. It looks incredibly gross anyway. Not used to electric hobs either.

    My parents want me to go see the band tonight. Maybe. I have no idea if I can even get in thr building once people leave the office...I hope so!

    There's been one seriously ****ty moment. Compensated for by the fact that I can cook properly now.
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    It's not just pens......

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