Ramblings on Edinburgh, rain & art.

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haha.. eewww coffee, can never get used to the taste! im a tea girl :wink:

Nice one, yeah its good when the lectures start up, get to meet a lot more people. We had a lot of fun/banter in lectures, one of my lecturers insulted me a lot for stupid answers in lectures...
aww that's good, i miss canteen food strangely... haha :P well il take the blame for that! I keep getting distracted and looking out the window as the views amazing at the moment.

Well I'm awkward and like both :biggrin:

Coffee is for most mornings, tea the ret of the time :wink:

I'm yet to try the canteen food, I realised there's a coffee machine in there though today :tongue:

My view is amazing right - blue sky! :biggrin:

Original post by Kater Murr

Great blog! Stephen sounds like a good guy to have as a tutor.

I live in Edinburgh and although I'm not a student I was wondering about arranging a 'TSR Meet' for the new students (and old students, and locals) to get together sometime, maybe in October once everyone's a bit more settled down. Anyone interested in that idea?

I fail at meeting people, so count me out :tongue:

Ehm. Today has been...a mix of things. My brain was pretty ****ed from having been awake since 4, and when my brain gets ****ed odd things happen. Well, not really odd. But my anxiety sky rockets, at the absolute tiniest thing. And I had my meeting with the health and safety guy, and I was already pretty anxious about that because - now this is gonna sound TOTALLY stupid, but it's not...that irrational to me anyway - I'm generally much more anxious around/scared of men with little/no hair. I'm not hair-ist, honest. :tongue:

It's just...yeah. I'm sure you're all really lovely, but you make me nervous. And before that my studio group were kinda wandering, we went down to the shop as a four (the fifth was out smoking and the sixth didn't come in) to get paint. But like...I'm quiet, so I'm generally kinda...glossed over. Most of the time that's fine, and I don't mind. And I have interacted with my group and we kinda get on. But it's far more awkward when it isn't work related, when we're just students going to get coffee or paint or whatever, that freaks me out. So I avoided the awkwardness of sitting in the canteen for half an hour talking and said I had a meeting about 3/4 hour before I did.

I got my stuff, went to one of the empty offices Steve said I could use if I was anxious. And sat there writing a text to him for about five minutes, because needing people makes me feel truly awful - and it's worse if I know the person will be in the middle of something. But having been offered someone if I do get panicky, then that's just...not something to be ignored. Not like I have any better offers :tongue:

I swear he apparated to that office! Either that or he was actually in his office, 'cos i didn't check... But yeah. That helped, so instead of curling up in a ball and going into full on panic I just got a bit shaky and didn't curl up that much. My hand got pretty shredded, 'cos it helps if there's some pain to distract from anxiety. And I don't really want to **** up my lack of self harm (I don't count scratching my hands...). But he talked at me, which helps. And it just turned into general moaning about the university (as in Edinburgh, not specifically the art college), which just reminded me so much of being at home! Both of my parents come home in the evening and all they do is bitch about work, maybe it is ****, but still. Constant bitching from whenever they come home - kinda 4/5ish until way into dinner is...not pleasant. I don't miss that. He reminded me to breathe at points. If I get lost in my hand and in the anxiety-ness of it all I tend to forget to do that properly. :tongue:

Anyway. I didn't die of anxiety like I thought I might. And it turned out okay, Steve took to me to the guy's office, but that kind of set me off again 'cos I started shaking again. So he stayed, even though he had to be somewhere else. And that was just...wonderful. Health & safety guy sat pretty much as far away as possible at the table we were at, so I couldn't see him very well. But they didn't mind me writing if I had to answer a question. We didn't really decide much, Steve & I will fill forms out at some point. Health & safety guy was kinda patronising. The same old thing of disability somehow becoming synonymous with stupid. It was a load of ****e really, and self explanatory and I could have just been given the forms. Escaped eventually, and there was some swearing from Steve, on my behalf I guess. Which was unexpected - I just thought he was pissed he'd had to come with me. It doesn't really bother me anymore - there will always be people like that, and sadly there's quite a lot.

I got told off for apologising too much. :rolleyes:

but I do that quite a bit anyway, and being anxious just makes that worse. *sighs* Rest of the time was okay, Steve is now my personal tutor. We had to see some guy with the brilliant name of Arno... :tongue:

He was fun and nice, so that's sorted. Studio was alright - we've making more geodesic things to put in our big geodesic thing. Stayed for quite a while... It's just, whenever a person leaves the room to go do something, everyone else kinda starts bitching about them. And it's not too harsh, it's just kinda. I don't know, not exactly gentle. But still bitching. I'm incredibly paranoid that they do that to me when I leave. Eugh.

There's an open day for UoE tomorrow, and there's supposed to be 2000 people coming :eek:

They want some students in studio to be working on our projects and to answer questions. I'm kinda...tempted. I did one for sixth form, and although some bits were incredibly cringe worthy I was the only one that turned up. And if no one else turns up tomorrow from my studio, it could be useful if I was there and doing stuff. I don't know. I'll see how I am tomorrow. Right now I'm exhausted. But I'm listening to the Ramones which makes things a bit better :tongue:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 101

Starsong

I have miraculously grown some balls :biggrin:

I'm in studio, all ready for 2000 people to come ask me questions about art college :ninja:

I have this kinda...I don't want to say alter ego, but maybe that's accurate. This bit of my personality that is pretty outgoing and just wants to talk to everyone and is quite happy around people (it doesn't show itself much :tongue:

), but doing things that I want to do, or because I want to do them for someone else, kinda brings that bit forward. So for interviews - and open days - I can be pretty damn talkative. Sometimes I do realise I'm actually talking and I have to go hide for a few minutes, but that's cool.

Although so far no one has turned up :frown:

But someone else has come in to work in the studio :smile:

so at least it won't just be me! But yeah, the open day started half an hour ago. I'm drawing our geodesic thing, because no one else in my group is coming in (probably), and it's hard to draw when they're moving it all over the place. I get quite self conscious about drawing as well. But it's good, I'm being productive. It's sunny - I slept from about eleven to eight last night (only waking up twice, yay!). And I've had coffee. So I'm pretty perky :biggrin:

Edinburgh is really quiet before 9 on a Saturday, I could cross roads that normally I have to wait for really long traffic lights to change because there was hardly any traffic. I have to walk through some pretty central bits to get into uni.

Oh, because I'm super organised I got here nice and early and Steve was skulking about (I think that's all he does :tongue:

), so he walked with me to the studio. :smile:

I couldn't open the main door to this building though :angry:

Some guy opened the door from the other side. It didn't let me just swipe, and putting my little code in made it flash red D: Lucky this building is attached to the main building :cool:

Reply 102

Starsong

So far I've talked to one group, although two have come to look at us (there's now five of us in this studio, so it looks pretty good). I've done some sketchbook stuff, and seeing as there's no one here at the moment i'm doing nothing :biggrin:

Steve appeared with a book for me to borrow, about collections. Which was enough to make me very nearly squeal in a girlish excited way. Books are lovely, books about interesting collections (interesting generally means found objects objects) are enough to make me sqee and pretty damn happy. So I'm reading that. Good stuff so far :biggrin:

Reply 103

Starsong

I've gone back to being exceptionally paranoid. Also, I cold probably fall asleep right now.

Reply 104

Starsong

Sleeping helps paranoia, so I'm mostly no longer convinced terrible things will happen to me :colondollar:

I'm sat in bed reading, because it's wonderfully sunny & most of that light goes on my bed. There isn't really anywhere else comfy to sit & read... Does mean I don't need to get dressed :cool:

My cousins FaceTime'd me last night, which was sweet. They're so noisy! The oldest will be 13 in December, the second just turned 11 & the twins are 9. I love them - especially the twins - to pieces :3 Those lot are on my mum's side, her brother. I haven't heard from my other aunt/uncle/cousins for a while (they're my dad's side & live in NY), their oldest is possibly four, and the youngest will be 1 in October. Or maybe 2?

My dad's side are generally the useless side :tongue:

his parents just moved to Maryland, having lived in the outskirts of Philly for years. We've yet to see the new house... But I miss their old one! It was beautiful, all wooden and four floors plus a basement. Ah well. My dog was named partly after the area they lived in - Bala. Her full name was Princess Bala Vera. Vera because when I went to meet her at the RSPCA she veered all over the place when we walked. Princess because there's a Princess Bala in Antz & I spoiled that dog rotten. I miss her more than anything, she was put down a month ago yesterday. Kidney failure. But I miss my cat too, Otto. Although he sometimes gets called Mr Wiggles and I have NO idea why! But Otto because we needed a palendromic name for him seeing as when he got him he'd run behind things and then back out again. Bless him.

And that was a pointless ramble about family and animals :biggrin:

more uni related, but I have a chapter of a textbook for my Visual Culture lecture, I ran out of printer paper so I'm missing three pages. But I'll read that today, all ready for my first lecture tomorrow :cool:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 105

nombo

No-one minds you revealing your anxiety OP! Hope things are picking up? Go knock on someone's door, that may help. If there's nothing to talk about, you can just leave. Well done for getting in!!! I'm sure everything will be good once classes start

Reply 106

lcsurfer

i wish i was back at uni again... Full time work sucks compared to student life :P

Reply 107

Niki_girl

Original post by twinlensreflex

And that was a pointless ramble about family and animals :biggrin:

It's not a pointless ramble! It just sets a bit of context, and proves that you have an awareness of things wider than yourself, which is more than can be said of most people during Fresher's week :smile:

Good luck with your first lecture today! :biggrin:

Reply 108

Starsong

Original post by Niki_girl

Good luck with your first lecture today! :biggrin:

Ppft if you insist. :tongue:

I'm easily distracted.

I made the most vile porridge ever this morning...thought I'd be clever and use the stupid microwave seeing as my only saucepan was still full of soup (which is my dinner for today). But oh no. Microwaves hate me and my porridge was just...ew. Microwave killed a cake I tried to make yesterday as well :angry:

So that wasn't good. I'm possibly a tiny bit grumpy seeing as I've only had a few spoonfuls of disgusting porridge today :tongue:

Lecture was good, I like visual culture-y things anyway. And having read the textbook chapter I pretty much knew what was going to happen. I got in an hour earlier than necessary and skulked about on my laptop. Steve appeared to see if I knew where I was going, which was nice. But by some miracle I did. :tongue:

The amount of people loitering outside the lecture theatre gave it away... So yeah. Lectures are good. Except possibly the parts where I don't speak to people when we were waiting outside and I end up sitting with a whole row to myself. But it was interesting.

Seminars are not so good. I don't like seminars. Having to sit around in a circle with all these scary new people is not a fantastic way to start the morning. I managed to say my name though. We had to do group work, my input was nodding. We also have to make a map of our kinda...art pedigree I guess. What & who we're inspired by. Which meant starting to draw it in the ****ing seminar and putting what we'd done in the ten minutes on the floor for everyone to see. Agh. Not good. I think Steve did speak to seminar woman about me being a complete failure at talking. I don't know.

I felt ****ty anyway, but now it's heading towards very ****ty. I don't want to go back to my flat, because I'll just end up lying in bed feeling even more ****ty. Most of the ****ty-ness is from flu-ness... I need to get a few more food things on my way home. But for now I'm sat in an empty office amusing myself on TSR because I have nothing better to do with my time. Feels like I have the mother of all headaches coming on as well. :/

Reply 109

Starsong

Original post by lcsurfer

i wish i was back at uni again... Full time work sucks compared to student life :P

I bet it does :tongue:

I have sooooo much free time though!

Reply 110

NW86

Original post by twinlensreflex

I bet it does :tongue:

I have sooooo much free time though!

I studied history of art & archaeology at uni, so compared to some of my friends ding science degrees i had loads of free time to. But once you graduate and get a proper job (or sell out as I've been calling it for 3 years now) you will miss it!

What was your visual-culture-y lecture about?

Reply 111

Starsong

Original post by NW86

I'll never get a real job then :tongue:

Just a broad intro to bits of semiotics, the idea of visual culture as a whole and bits & pieces of different theories. Nothing too scary :smile:

They buggered up the first year timetables, so I've just had to redo mine. So much for me being organised with my colour coding! My rotations go in a different order now - photography, sculpture, intermedia & then painting. Meh.

Reply 112

Starsong

I've had so much post lately - it's so damn exciting! The printer paper I ordered from Rymans came today (the security guy just rang me up, happens pretty often now :colondollar:

), it was free postage and I have no desire to carry 500 sheets of paper for the half hour it'd take fro me to walk back from Rymans. SO I CAN PRINT AGAIN. You have no idea how happy that makes me...or maybe you do. :tongue:

I'm printing out lecture slides and organising my notes from today, because I'm just that cool. :ninja:

It's so ****ing windy :eek:

Reply 113

lcsurfer

Original post by twinlensreflex

I bet it does :tongue:

I have sooooo much free time though!

free time, if only haha :P In all fairness I'm procrastinating a lot today...
Get yourself a job? I worked full time in my first year of uni saved me lots of monies!
Just got my sexy camera working again, went kind of trigger happy last night

Reply 114

Starsong

Original post by lcsurfer

Tut tut. Back to work! I'm thinking about it, I just have no idea what to do...and no relevant experience. Yay! :biggrin:

I cannot believe how windy it is - and all ****ing night! I've been mostly awake since 3, I did nap a but after 6. I'm gonna get a taxi, because I get a taxi allowance as part of my disabled students allowance :cool:

although last time I tried to call a taxi didn't go well :tongue:

but it's pissing it down, still horribly windy & I feel crap. Hm news says no trains between Newcastle & here, one of our group was going home to Newcastle...

We get a tour of the ECA library today... And we're painting. Steve is - by some coincidence... - taking the groups in my studio. He somehow also has time to come to our seminars (my group next week). It helps having him about, but I'm...becoming dependent on him. Like, he's the only constant since I've been here. There's been two days where he didn't email, but I saw him both of those days...

Ignore rambling, I'm ill. :tongue:

(edited 3 years ago)

Reply 115

lcsurfer

Original post by twinlensreflex

Tut tut. Back to work! I'm thinking about it, I just have no idea what to do...and no relevant experience. Yay! :biggrin:

Make it up! haha, I'm the master of making CV's look like you've done a ton of relevent stuff if you want me to have bash at doing it? I've got nothing better to do at work at the moment...
Ahh just finished a huge deadline and preparing for my cambodia trip, its thunder and lightening here yey.
It's fine to trust the one constant in your life there at the moment, I know what it's like since moving here to try and find a constant :smile:

Reply 116

Starsong

Original post by lcsurfer

Last time I checked I didn't even have a CV! :tongue:

but there really isn't much relevant, I've done some volunteering (photography for charity swimming events and a theatre production & my RSPCA work and that's it. I'll do something about it...eventually :biggrin:

I just feel kinda bad, I've only known him a week!

Taxi company never answered their phone. Gave up & walked in, it wasn't raining then. I'm wearing two jumpers & thigh high socks. It's still mostly cold :frown:

I have woollen scarf, hat & gloves for outside. Plus a coat. Eh. I still feel okay enough to drag myself in, which is something. I'm hungry but nauseous at the same time do I haven't eaten today. No real meals since early last week. Yesterday's intake was a box of tomatoes, few spoons of porridge & chocolate shortbread. I'll make salad when I get in, I have some instant miso soup too. Either not hungry or wanting to puke, eugh! Sleep last night was so bad too...

Studio this morning was okay - thing is painted & we're not doing anything else until Thursday. Had our library tour, so I'm curled up on a comfy chair in the library. 60,000 books and my eyes are too tired to read! Nice and quiet though. :smile:

I'm meeting Steve in a bit to do health & safety forms, just waiting for him to text.

Reply 117

Starsong

Steve-meeting was pretty good, forms took a few minutes and then we rushed about trying to find fire exits so I know where to go if there is a fire. We went to see the photography course leader guy (he does actually have a name, guess I could use that...David). For some unknown - slightly scary! - reason he knew who I was :eek:

Anyway he's totally lovely and I got shown around all the darkrooms and absolutely everything, if I come up with a list of dangerous chemicals I'd like to use he'll speak to the technician about it (there's even a special bit where they do dangerous things). Which was enough to make me talk. In fact, just being in a darkroom is enough to make me talk - even if they aren't dark, there's just something very comforting/safe about them. I've spent two years practically living in the one at my sixth form, and then my bedroom at home turns into a darkroom... I'm used to that chemical smell, and it just...it makes me happy really. So that was lovely. I've been through several darkrooms very quickly and had no idea where I was going, but it was fun. :biggrin:

I know fire escapes too :cool:

I gave Steve another book to look at...it was just...nice really. I didn't use my notebook once, even for the difficult questions (okay, I made faces instead and he had to guess). But there was talking, and it was probably the most talking I've done to someone who isn't my mum/dad the whole time I've been here. I don't know. It was good.

So that took an hour or so, but I had nothing better to do. I think I'll try and get some books off my reading list tomorrow. We're not coming back into studio as a group so there's nothing else to do... I think we might do some more checking I know where fire escapes are but I don't know. I've just bought a toolbox and a cutlery divider thing. That's honestly how boring my life is... best £9.99 I've spent in a while though :tongue:

Needed a toolbox anyways for carrying art stuff, it's a pain having it all rattle about in my bag. It said somewhere I'd need one anyhow. And my cutlery drawer is a tip, because there's cutlery and then LOTS OF STUFF. Because it's the only drawer in the kitchen.

Next week I'm doing the first rotation - which is photography, and we start our drawing classes. Which isn't so exciting, because my drawing is horrendous. I smell all smokey (hmm...Steve... - if you know where that's from I'll love you for well, a bit - but it is his fault) so I might go shower. I feel less crap, magical painkillers :smile:

Reply 118

Niki_girl

Original post by twinlensreflex

Sounds good! :thumbsup:

The process of photography, especially from a chemical point of view, is fascinating! Makes me wish that I was good enough at chemistry to understand it all :moon:

Reply 119

Starsong

Original post by Niki_girl

Sounds good! :thumbsup:

The process of photography, especially from a chemical point of view, is fascinating! Makes me wish that I was good enough at chemistry to understand it all :moon: