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Relationships with flatmates

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    I've definitely grown an attraction to one of my flat-mates and whilst I'd like something to happen I'm wary on two fronts. The first obviously I would like a sign of some sort that she feels similar but secondary I'm worried things might get awkward, firstly if she rejects my advances between us and then if something did happen it could get awkward between us and the other flat mates.

    Anyone got advise from witnessing/being in a similar situation?
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    Most likely a bad idea.
    #2

    What do you like so much about her?

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    I think the phrase "Don't **** where you eat" applies quite nicely here, if it goes south imagine how fun it'll be.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've definitely grown an attraction to one of my flat-mates and whilst I'd like something to happen I'm wary on two fronts. The first obviously I would like a sign of some sort that she feels similar but secondary I'm worried things might get awkward, firstly if she rejects my advances between us and then if something did happen it could get awkward between us and the other flat mates.

    Anyone got advise from witnessing/being in a similar situation?
    I witnessed this last year...

    The guy got blown off big time, and went totally mental for the rest of the year.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What do you like so much about her?
    Breasts I assume
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    Deffo dont go there


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
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    I'm not going to say "don't do it, it can only end badly" because I know plenty of people who have started going out with flatmates, some of which are now engaged/married, but it's not something you can take lightly.

    Just an idea - why not wait until later in the year so if it all goes tits up you don't have that many months of awkwardness left?
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    don't do it - it will end in tears- wait till you are in different flats and THEN go for it!
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    imo its probs just a case of being around someone a bit much. 'just like how people **** each other in prison'
    #3

    Now is the perfect time to say YOLO, as well as realising it might not be awkward for more than about 2 days if she says no. Everyone will just get on with their life, it won't be an awkward silence forever.

    What will you regret most, not telling her your feelings (and she might find someone else in the meantime), or slightly ruining the dynamic of the flat for a while?

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    #4

    Go for it, from what I've seen, people mostly keep each other company rather well, awkwardness actually is rare

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    You have to take into considersation if it ends and you break up are you really going to feel okay when she gets a new boyfriend and brings him back to the flat? I couldnt do it
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    Just be sensible about it and don't turn into a stalker.
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    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What do you like so much about her?
    Her voice, she's polite, speaks English very very well (she's German), she's up for a laugh and quite lovely from what I've seen of her.

    (Original post by RightSaidJames)
    I'm not going to say "don't do it, it can only end badly" because I know plenty of people who have started going out with flatmates, some of which are now engaged/married, but it's not something you can take lightly.

    Just an idea - why not wait until later in the year so if it all goes tits up you don't have that many months of awkwardness left?
    A very good idea and thank you for not just going 'bad idea' etc.

    (Original post by kingme)
    imo its probs just a case of being around someone a bit much. 'just like how people **** each other in prison'
    After less than a week? I didn't feel the same about any of the other people (male or female) who were here earlier.

    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    You have to take into considersation if it ends and you break up are you really going to feel okay when she gets a new boyfriend and brings him back to the flat? I couldnt do it
    To be honest, I don't that kind of thinking helps anyone, I don't want to go into something thinking, 'oh if it goes wrong'. It would all go right. :moon:


    (Original post by Future African game vet)
    don't do it - it will end in tears- wait till you are in different flats and THEN go for it!
    That might be a bit hard as I'm only here for a year for Erasmus before I go back to the UK whilst she's just started her bachelors.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That might be a bit hard as I'm only here for a year for Erasmus before I go back to the UK whilst she's just started her bachelors.
    In which case, what will happen when you go back to the UK?

    I know that overseas relationships can work (my mum and step-dad being a good example of this). Assuming she likes you back it could be great in the near future but you'd have to be prepared for what is to come. Nothing's ever easy and if its meant to be you'll find a way to work it out.

    IMO if 2 people like each other, it'll become apparent naturally and it wont need one to say to the other "Hey, I like you!" because it should be obvious on both sides. If she is showing no sign of being attracted to you then the chances are she just sees you as a friend.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Her voice, she's polite, speaks English very very well (she's German), she's up for a laugh and quite lovely from what I've seen of her.



    A very good idea and thank you for not just going 'bad idea' etc.



    After less than a week? I didn't feel the same about any of the other people (male or female) who were here earlier.



    To be honest, I don't that kind of thinking helps anyone, I don't want to go into something thinking, 'oh if it goes wrong'. It would all go right. :moon:




    That might be a bit hard as I'm only here for a year for Erasmus before I go back to the UK whilst she's just started her bachelors.


    Then your post asking for help is pointless if its all going to go 'right'
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    Don't know why everyone's saying don't do it etc etc. I started going out with my flatmate in the first year of uni, three years later and we're still together..
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by SillyMilly)
    Then your post asking for help is pointless if its all going to go 'right'
    I'm rather pessimistic for an optimistic.
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    (Original post by Teemo)
    Don't know why everyone's saying don't do it etc etc. I started going out with my flatmate in the first year of uni, three years later and we're still together..
    So? Obviously if you're still together it's fine, but the real problem is what the atmosphere in the flat will be like if you break up.

    Yeah! Let the OP base his decision on the experience of ONE PERSON! What you've told us means nothing.

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Updated: November 17, 2012
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