In Sixth Form and I'm still unpopular.

This week I started sixth form in the same school that I've been in for year 7-11. I was always pretty unpopular, not disliked but just not liked. I only had two or three proper friends throughout most of school. I'm not particularly good at making friends and although I'm always friendly I find it really difficult to relate to most people in my year, especially the girls.
I wasn't really expecting to come back to school and suddenly become a social butterfly but actually getting back and realising that I'm still as unpopular as I was and that nothing's changed has really depressed me.
I've started hanging around with a group of people who are nice but also pretty unpopular however I feel kind of like a fifth wheel as they've all been friends since year seven, I just feel like I'm imposing a bit and following them around and that they would actually prefer if I wasn't there.
By now, most people in my year are able to walk into a classroom and know almost everybody in the room whereas I walk in and at best I know one person but often I'll just sit by myself. I can't imagine how I'm ever going to get a boyfriend or get invited to sixth form parties. As childish as it sounds, I just feel so uncool.
It just really depressed me to know that I've got to spend another 2 years like this before I can go off to university and get a fresh start where I'm not immediately seen as the weird girl that nobody wants to talk to.

Anyone else feel a bit like this?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 1

Robin Scherbatsky

When I started my first year of college, I had just come from a school where I wasn't very popular, and almost all my friends had gone to a different college, so I knew no one. I felt so dwarfed by all these cool people, and I was just too shy to talk to people. I didn't really make any friends that year and it really depressed me.

If you're at the same place with the same people, then it's understandable that you're still "unpopular". Reputation sticks, so the people there will always know and judge you in the same way.

I know it hurts now, but in the long run it really isn't important. Yes, there's always popularity in this world, but people in the adult world are very different to the teenagers who've picked on you for something trivial since year seven. For example, twelve year old kids will pick on you if you're smart, but in the adult world it's usually something people love! The people who matter, anyway.

I'm sorry you don't have many people you feel you can talk to. But there ARE bonuses to being on your own. In that first year of college I couldn't even go to the canteen by myself, but over the year since I had no one to do stuff with, I learnt to do it by myself, became more independent and confident in my abilities, and as a result became more outspoken and made new friends. By my extra third year it was as if my first year hadn't even happened! All that crying and sitting alone glumly was a thing of the past, and now the friends I made are always inviting me places. Plus, those friends you have you said are quite nice; I'm sure they don't mind being with you, and you could end up being wonderful friends. I can understand you feeling out of place though, that happened to me too.

Talking to people is hard, too. I couldn't talk to anyone new and then I got lucky as a girl early on in my second year sat next to me and asked me my name, and we were doing the same subjects and so had stuff in common. BUT, and I know this will sound weird, but often asking someone their name is a great ice breaker. People love to talk about themselves, and you'll introduce yourselves and possibly start talking about something else. I don't know if many new people have come into your year, so maybe that will be hard for you...but it's good advice to keep in mind. Remember, I know it's difficult now, but one day this will all be a thing of the past and you won't be seen as "uncool" anymore. To the friends you'll inevitably meet and make you'll be the coolest person there is!

Reply 2

laurenfae

It sounds like you would have benefitted from going to another sixth form or to college so you have a fresh start (I wasn't popular at all in high school, but at college I haven't even started yet and I've already made some friends!), but obviously since you haven't you have to work with what you have. I know it's tough but you need to talk to people and put yourself out there. If you do any subjects that involve class discussions, which most do, then take part in them. Talk to who you're sitting next to in class (unless the teacher is talking, then you probably should listen haha), and if you're not sitting next to anyone then make sure you are because it makes you look a lot more approachable and friendly. If you have lunch in a lunch hall or anything like that then talk to the person next to you in the que, even if it's just about the weather or something, and then sit nearby people. The reason nobody's made an effort with you is most likely because they assume you're happy with the group of friends you're with now. I'm not saying you'll become the most popular person ever but you'll have friends! And who knows, maybe if you make some good friends they can introduce you to even more people!

Reply 3

marcus2001

Make sure you don't look like a social recluse, if you do then you won't be approachable and you won't make friends. i.e. Be hygienic, take care of your appearance etc.

Just watch 90210 and do what they do..

Also, you sound sad, have a rep on me

Reply 4

pink pineapple

treat this year as a fresh start. When I was at high school, I was pretty unpopular and didn't have many freinds however now I'm at sixth form, I talk as much as I can and have much more confidence. My best advice is to be yourself, you said you're always friendly, if people have a problem with you it's their problem, not yours. Just ask people about what they're taking, did they have a summer, how did they find their GCSEs and you'll have plenty to talk about. You shouldn't worry about not talking in class at sixth form because there's always so much to do that you don't want to slip behind because you're always talking, so being quiet in class does have it's advantage. You might feel now that you can't imagine yourself having a boyfriend or being invited to parties but i'm sure you will, those worries are really common. So the next time you go to sixth form, go in with your head held high and smile, because people love it when others smile :biggrin:

Reply 5

Whostolemycookie

I feel bad for OP, I try to befriend all the people in my school because most of the time they end up being more intresting than the 'popular' people

Reply 6

StateSchooler95

Im male and I used to have the same problem as you. My advice, avoid the popular ones: the majority are just self-fish, ignorant bastards... Oh and the bitchiness that really annoys me. I slowly realised i fit in better in smaller groups and theres nothing wrong with that

Reply 7

crc290

Who wants to be popular? I'd much rather have a small group of genuine good friends than a multitude of fake acquaintances

Reply 8

username120877

Original post by crc290

Who wants to be popular? I'd much rather have a small group of genuine good friends than a multitude of fake acquaintances

Sound advice! You find how who your real friends are as you work through your a levels/degree and beyond!

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