was this (sexual) abuse?

Anonymous

Maybe you are just a flinchy people. Not everyone who is like that has been "abused". And if he was "touching you" and not getting any gratification (maybe he was taking the piss, like someone said, about you going through puberty), then it's hardly sexual abuse. He is your brother after all, not a stranger touching your boobs. It's family... Of course depends HOW he was doing it.

Hardly sexual abuse?! If someone touches you, member of family or random stranger, and you don't want them to, or don't like it or feel it inappropriate, then yes, its sexual abuse! Whether or not a person if affected by it, or if they only start to realise how it has effected them years after it occurs, its still sexual abuse!

Reply 43

Touches where? Privates, ok. But touching her breasts... and once (maybe he did it as a joke) that certainly isn't abuse. I wouldn't care if my brother did it...

Some guy touched his sisters breasts, and you are all shouting "SEXUAL ABUSE". I think it's as wrong as being overly-PC.

Reply 44

Anonymous

Touches where? Privates, ok. But touching her breasts... and once (maybe he did it as a joke) that certainly isn't abuse. I wouldn't care if my brother did it...

Some guy touched his sisters breasts, and you are all shouting "SEXUAL ABUSE". I think it's as wrong as being overly-PC.

Touching someones breasts without there consent you feel is not sexual abuse or harassment????
and you wouldn't care if your brother groped your breasts??? are you totally mad or something how can you not see that as some sort of sexual harassment???
And most people are saying its sexual abuse due to the first incident rather than the second one, i sure wouldn't want you as a judge

Reply 45

Kittennffc

Its not being overly-PC, its about realising when something shouldn't be happening!

So what if someone touches places you don't want to be touched, and see it as a joke, doesn't mean its no sexual abuse. Its a one-sided thing here, if someone doesn't want you to do something, and they do it, its sexual abuse. If the person touching liked it, does that make it not sexual abuse as he did it for fun? No, you havn't got a leg to stand on in this argument. If I were in a club and someone groped my breasts, i'd call it sexual abuse as I wouldn't want it happening.

Reply 46

Jonatan

13

Technically it would classify as sexual abuse if he did so against your will. Wether it is something to be concerned about depends almost completely on how you feel/felt about it and the exact circumstances. Its not clear cut from what you have told us so far.

Reply 47

In a club it would be a stranger. If he was doing it for sexual gratification, then yea it's abuse. How about stroking the tummy? Is that sexual abuse? What about neck? Kissing the neck? How about if it was her sister rather than her brother? I'm not saying what he did wasn't sexual abuse, I'm saying it may have been an affectionate brother thing, but I am very sure that the two posters above me are right, from what the OP said about him making her touch his dick for 10 minutes. If he's dodgy like that, then yes, he's a dodgy guy and it's sexual abuse. In this case. I meant that if it was a one off, of a brother touching (and not in a horny way) a sister's breasts, that's not necessarily sexual abuse.

Reply 48

Jonatan

13

Anonymous

Touches where? Privates, ok. But touching her breasts... and once (maybe he did it as a joke) that certainly isn't abuse. I wouldn't care if my brother did it...

Some guy touched his sisters breasts, and you are all shouting "SEXUAL ABUSE". I think it's as wrong as being overly-PC.

Put it this way, if someone in a superior position were to do that in a workplace you would be talking a fairly substantial lawsuit, and rightly so. Its all down to how she feels about it.

Reply 49

Lush Law

It's definite sexual abuse. The Sexual Offences Act 2003 reformed the law to widen the ambit of protection for women, and imparticular, children. USE IT.

Reply 50

WokSz

17

The thing I question is that if he's done it since? If he hasn't, then I don't think it's sexual abuse as he was very young himself. Also, if it has affected you seriously, talk to the relevant people.

Reply 51

You're not getting my point, Jonatan. We're talking about a brother/sister here. Not in a workplace with strangers. I'm saying it may have been affectionate (in a case like this, but, as I have pointed out in my previous post, not in this /particular/ case) rather than sexual.

Reply 52

Some of these responses are just pure stupid, it might of been affectionate???? what the **** i hope some of you aint studying law or to be a policeman

Reply 53

Case in point - your response. The affectionate was to the specific case of "breasts". Not touching her "privates", nor making her touch his.

Reply 54

Jonatan

13

Anonymous

You're not getting my point, Jonatan. We're talking about a brother/sister here. Not in a workplace with strangers. I'm saying it may have been affectionate (in a case like this, but, as I have pointed out in my previous post, not in this /particular/ case) rather than sexual.

A 17 year old brother grabbing the breast of his 11 year old sister is definitely a case of sexual abuse if it was against her will. That he is her brother doesn't make it any better. In many ways you could argue it makes it worse because he, due to the age difference, is in a position where he could easily take advantage of her. Also, it is her feelings about it that matter in this case. If he did so against her will and she felt bad about it, then it does classify as sexual abuse, even if his motives were affection.

Reply 55

Kittennffc

Anonymous

You're not getting my point, Jonatan. We're talking about a brother/sister here. Not in a workplace with strangers. I'm saying it may have been affectionate (in a case like this, but, as I have pointed out in my previous post, not in this /particular/ case) rather than sexual.

How can being touched in an intimate place by a relative be affectionate? Sick? Yes. Wrong? Yes. Incestuous? Yes. Sexual Abuse? Yes!

Jesus Christ, if someone touches you, relative or not in an intimate place, its sexual abuse! End of!

If the person in question doesn't feel anything about it, its still sexual abuse! People deal with things in different ways! Like MNB said, some of these posts are borderding on ridiculous!

Reply 56

Anonymous

Case in point - your response. The affectionate was to the specific case of "breasts". Not touching her "privates", nor making her touch his.

I never realised groping your 11 year old sisters breasts at 17 was a sign of normal affection, i must grope my mums breasts tomorrow to show i love her :confused:

Reply 57

We don't know how he grabbed... Think outside the box. What if he pinched her bum. Is that sexual abuse? Pretty much as "sexual" a place. Do you see a brother grabbing a little sisters arse as sexual abuse?

Reply 58

Grope isn't the same as touch. Maybe it was a poke? Breasts aren't as intimate as other places. What if it was a guy's breast? The list of unanswered questions grows.

Reply 59