Am I out of order or is my tutor?
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?He's BUSY. Its called Start of Term. You dont need this reference this instant do you. So leave it at least a fortnight before you approach him again.
If in 3 weeks time you havnt got the reference, then make a very discreet call on his line manger. Do NOT 'drop him in it; or 'blame' him. This will not endear you to anyone. Gently and very politely ask if this person can do anything to help you.
Tutors, teachers & lecturers have many other people to think about from just you. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?I find it odd that you guys have each others numbers tbh..
I think he's just unreliable. I wouldn't take any of it to heart.. as long as he gets it to you in time for UCAS to be sent off, everything should be fine. It's if it gets to the point where you miss the deadline because of him that you'll have an actual problem. I'd suggest you continue hounding him until he gets it to you. When you go speak to him don't lightheartedly take what he says, appear physically annoyed and flustered by him. Speak to him in a churlish tone to get what you want. He'll realize you really really want it & it's important to you, most likely, he'll soon get on it. He honestly probably just forgets about it. As unprofessional as that is. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?Does it matter when he sends off the reference? As long as he does it before the deadline then you should be okay. From what happened when I did mine, you do your bit, and the school sends it off when they've done their stuff, i.e. you enter what you need to then forget about it until the offers start coming in.
From the rest of what you say, he's weird, is there no one better you can ask?Last edited by Hopple; 16-09-2012 at 22:18. -
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Am I out of order or is my tutor?That seems a bit unfair obviously she has asked him a few times and given him notice of when she wants it for.
Saying that it's probably best to wait about a week just because he sounds like an idiot.
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?My school was really iffy about having our tutors on facebook, let alone texting!
To be honest, it sounds like he had inappropriate feelings for you - or at least showed inappropriate feelings. He probably got told off for it, and is now reluctant to show those feelings, and is trying hard to appear to be alienating you.(Original post by Reaffy)
Well, he's no longer my tutor. After my lit exam, I went to the pub with a few people from a night class and he met us later in the day and he gave me his number to contact him about the literary class. Which he then never replied to. It's so strange..as though, he always needs to retain control.
As for hiding under the table, yep! It was definitely an attempt to say 'hide me from her - she's doing my head it.' It was extremely uncomfortable. Ultimately, I wouldn't be pestering him if he just provided me with the thing. But the way he's twisting it and making it look like I'm an unstable and stalker-ish student, is just so out of order. I'm actually incredibly worried at the moment. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?That's why I'm annoyed.(Original post by returnmigrant)
He's BUSY. Its called Start of Term. You dont need this reference this instant do you. So leave it at least a fortnight before you approach him again.
If in 3 weeks time you havnt got the reference, then make a very discreet call on his line manger. Do NOT 'drop him in it; or 'blame' him. This will not endear you to anyone. Gently and very politely ask if this person can do anything to help you.
Tutors, teachers & lecturers have many other people to think about from just you.Last edited by Reaffy; 18-09-2012 at 14:51. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?strange behaviour tbh. let's say this was a random 'friend' or something...what would u think if he behaved in the same way?
to me it's sounding as tho he's holding out because he knows u need him for this ref and that once the ref is done...then u won't have cause to go chasing and texting an stuff.
i'm not suggesting anything improper even tho he's being weird but seriously? if that was a male friend...what would u think of his behaviour?
the fact that one of your tutor's can be prompt with a ref and another cannot also belies the being 'busy' thing...so i really cannot fathom why he is behaving this way but in view of the fact that he knows of your urgency and to ansa your OP...he's out of line. if another tutor can be helpful, then there is clearly nothing wrong with your request...
unless he can give a suitable reason as to his procrastination, i see nowt wrong with u wanting an early ref either.
at the v least he could give u a turnaround time and actually stick to it. just my opinion
Last edited by ashtoreth; 16-09-2012 at 22:28. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?I'm honestly aware that having his number is strange and I've actually deleted it from my phone. The only reason I had it was for the prospect of this literary class which he then never did.
My friends has responded to it exactly the same way you have - I've actually lost some friends because of it. Or rather, the relationships I've had with my friends have faltered slightly. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?It is a bit unusual, but I'm not sure why friends would care that much unless there was more than you've said.(Original post by Reaffy)
I'm honestly aware that having his number is strange and I've actually deleted it from my phone. The only reason I had it was for the prospect of this literary class which he then never did.
My friends has responded to it exactly the same way you have - I've actually lost some friends because of it. Or rather, the relationships I've had with my friends have faltered slightly. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?You seem really affected by this. I think you need to breath in and out.. clear your head and just realize it's really not a big deal at all. You'll get your reference, in due course. Sure he's being a d'ck about it and messing you about by either forgetting or being lazy but he's probably busy and has tons of students issues to worry about. How do you get to the point where you lose friends over a stupid teacher? As for the hiding under the table bit, I suggest you don't take that so personally either. The fact that he did it for you to see shows he wasn't trying to be nasty - but he is aware that your having to come after him a helluva a lot for it. If you're this worried about it you need to just tell him how he's pissing you off or you're just going to have to bare with it.(Original post by Reaffy)
I'm honestly aware that having his number is strange and I've actually deleted it from my phone. The only reason I had it was for the prospect of this literary class which he then never did.
My friends has responded to it exactly the same way you have - I've actually lost some friends because of it. Or rather, the relationships I've had with my friends have faltered slightly. -
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?
sounds like he liked you then got fed up, especially by pestering him. I thought that aplications through 6th forms had to be approved to send them off. Well thats how mine made it sound. So if thats the case you dont need to be rushing, and i dont even know if 2013 applications are open for a couple more weeks anyway.
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Re: Am I out of order or is my tutor?inappropriate much (the teacher not you... although you may possibly be naive)
3 teachers in my school got fired for similar thing to what you described, its not normal behavior - teachers at our school where also told there not allowed to add past or present students to Facebook or give out there number
