[repoman]

Hi TSR, please help me as I feel utterly depressed.

Im 26, a studying accountant but I am just awful at interviews. Since the start of the year I have been to quite a few interviews, mostly for temp/contract jobs some are permanent. Most of the feedback I get are very unhelpful (e.g. went for the other person) but some other feedback has been hard to take. Sometimes I come across nervous. The main reason is that they dont think Iwould be a good fit to their team or company, and I dont come across as enthusiastic enough in the interview. I've always been a quiet sort of person so maybe thats the difficulty.

It feels like you have to be ultra confident and talk lots of crap to pass interviews. Gone are the days where people selected the person on who can do the job the best. Now its who will be liked the most. By the way, none of the companies doubted I could do their job, and some of the jobs I have been applying to have been a little higher than what Ive done. As I am studying I want to progress, but a few recruitment agencies keep referring me to bog standard Accounts roles, with no scope to move up the chain.

And most of the jobs referred to are contract or temp jobs. Again I dont want this. I'm concerned I will have too many of those jobs on my CV and by the end, no employer will hire me:

Heres a brief look at my last 3 years so far:


2009-May 2011: Worked in NHS. Was a temp for 3 months, but they kept me there until I left to go travelling for a few months. I was there for 2 and a half years! After all THAT TIME, they didnt offer me a permanent job. I felt a little insulted, I thought people temp for a few months, then get offfered to stay. Not with me By the way I did not have an interview for this job. I started like a week after the agencies arranged the job for me, along with 2 temps. I outlasted both of them and I know if I didnt leave, I would still be there (as a temp probably!)

Sep-Nov 11: I worked at a big company for 2 months. Was told before it was just gonna be 2 months and thats all. I did have an interview, but I was the only one invited so I was bound to be offered the job unless I did something stupid e.g. Wear Tshirt and shorts


2012: I was unemployed for 7 months! 7 months for someone who has good experience and studying to become a chartered accountant (I have done 4 exams so far, taking 1 this December). I went to several interviews, sometimes against lots of people, sometimes against one person. I was not successful in any of them. It was SOUL DESTROYING.

Until I got a 6 week contract end of July this year. Now thats finished. Weasent quite right for me, but again I gave 100% and the manager was very greatful of the work I did. By the way I didnt have an interview for this, but I had an interview for another job at the same company a few months ago, and we know what happened.

Last 2 weeks Ive had 2 interviews for permanent jobs and not succesful.

I am getting really depressed at why no company wants to hire me long term. The only people willing to hire me are for just a short period.

This is affecting other areas of my life, I feel I am restrcited by my lack of job. E.g. I cant move out of my parents house until I get a long term job. women are unlikely to date someone still living at home.

I see lots of my friends at around my age, they are settled down with a girlfriend, their own place, nice car, maybe married. Lots of social life etc...But they all have one thing in common, they have a stable job. I dont have any of that, but I think if I get a job, other things in my miserable life will fall into place.


One of my friends described me as the person who puts a lot of effort into all areas of life, but for some reasons, gets back very little or nothing, and having very bad luck!


I dont know what to do. Should I move country, maybe it may be easier to get a job with companies who appreciate actual skills and not how you come accross in a 50 min chat.

[repoman]

Bump! I know its a little bit to read, but someone must have some advice? Its getting me really down.

[Chapeau Rouge]

I'm in a similar situation but here are a few of my thoughts.

(Original post by repoman)
but some other feedback has been hard to take. Sometimes I come across nervous. The main reason is that they dont think Iwould be a good fit to their team or company, and I dont come across as enthusiastic enough in the interview. I've always been a quiet sort of person so maybe thats the difficulty.

It feels like you have to be ultra confident and talk lots of crap to pass interviews. Gone are the days where people selected the person on who can do the job the best. Now its who will be liked the most. By the way, none of the companies doubted I could do their job, and some of the jobs I have been applying to have been a little higher than what Ive done.

From here, it seems that the problem is you are not coming across as likeable in interviews. It is now hard to select who can do the job best as everyone seems roughly equal, particularly in graduate employment. I worked in a HR department for a bit and they said one of the most important things they looked for, particularly in a small company, was whether they could work with the person. You have to slot into a team that already exists and if you come across as shy, nervous, quiet, it is hard to display a personality that they will want to work with, even if you may have slightly more experience than the other candidates.

Think of it from their point of view. Everyone is perfectly qualified to do the job. Do you pick the person who was really quiet and nervous, couldn't look you in the eye or the person who made you laugh, had a smile on their face and seemed like a fun person to work with? Just something to consider.

[Arsene Wenger]

I was the same.

I was always very, very confident in school/Uni but since I graduated and applied to jobs I kept getting rejections, which really had an impact on my confidence so much so that people had started to notice. I held two temporary jobs (Admin/Game Job) in the last year and a half and still struggled even with those experiences. I had two options I could either sit about, depressed and not get anywhere or pick myself up with nothing to lose and showcase the confidence I once had.

I think it worked as my most recent interview went really well, I was super confident and answered all the questions they threw at me in a confident manner.

[grumbeale]

I've always thought I've done well at interviews, only had a handful and always came off well. Even in one I did crap at I got offered the job, but refused it for another reason. Was some accountancy type job I didn't want. Did it earlier this year for some office job too, turned it down due to the ****ty salary.

I've always just acted slightly more confident than what I am in real life and asked a lot of questions about what they can offer me. You have to pretend that you're wanting to stay there a long time, or willing to do that if they can offer it. You can probably find a million guides online with a quick google search.

[Hal.E.Lujah]

Top tip:

Don't do this http://static.themetapicture.com/med...hand-shake.gif

[Mindbodyspirit]

(Original post by Chapeau Rouge)
I'm in a similar situation but here are a few of my thoughts.



From here, it seems that the problem is you are not coming across as likeable in interviews. It is now hard to select who can do the job best as everyone seems roughly equal, particularly in graduate employment. I worked in a HR department for a bit and they said one of the most important things they looked for, particularly in a small company, was whether they could work with the person. You have to slot into a team that already exists and if you come across as shy, nervous, quiet, it is hard to display a personality that they will want to work with, even if you may have slightly more experience than the other candidates.

Think of it from their point of view. Everyone is perfectly qualified to do the job. Do you pick the person who was really quiet and nervous, couldn't look you in the eye or the person who made you laugh, had a smile on their face and seemed like a fun person to work with? Just something to consider.

Completely agree with this comment!

[Mindbodyspirit]

(Original post by Chapeau Rouge)
I really don't understand this attitude at all. When I was nursery/primary school age, I was painfully shy and would often have to be taken home in tears because I was so afraid of having to socialise with other people - by that reckoning I was "born shy". However, I'm not like this at all now, I realised something had to change and started just trying to be more sociable with people. I imagine to most people I still err on the side of introvert but I have plenty of friends and all my interview feedback has come back as me seeming like a confident person. It is possible to make a change.

This was the case with me too (but not so extreme in regards to having to be taken home in tears). My confidence toke a blow when I became very ill at 15 (lasted for few years). I realized that to become more confident I had to get out and about. So I manage to find jobs to build up my confidence. Now, I am considered confident socially, by my friends, but I also do like to still keep to myself.

[Mindbodyspirit]

(Original post by repoman)
Hi TSR, please help me as I feel utterly depressed.

I see lots of my friends at around my age, they are settled down with a girlfriend, their own place, nice car, maybe married. Lots of social life etc...But they all have one thing in common, they have a stable job. I dont have any of that, but I think if I get a job, other things in my miserable life will fall into place.

Not necessarily the case. I still live with my parents (due to financial reasons) and this has never been a problem (although I've been with my girlfriend for the last 2 years). To believe that getting a long term job will cure all your problems is a little naive. However, it certainly will help. Case in point; my brother has a a well paid job (permanent), nice house, great car, girlfriend etc. but he still is unhappy.

I wish you the best of luck.

[The Rusty Spork]

(Original post by repoman)
Hi TSR, please help me as I feel utterly depressed.

Im 26, a studying accountant but I am just awful at interviews. Since the start of the year I have been to quite a few interviews, mostly for temp/contract jobs some are permanent. Most of the feedback I get are very unhelpful (e.g. went for the other person) but some other feedback has been hard to take. Sometimes I come across nervous. The main reason is that they dont think Iwould be a good fit to their team or company, and I dont come across as enthusiastic enough in the interview. I've always been a quiet sort of person so maybe thats the difficulty.

It feels like you have to be ultra confident and talk lots of crap to pass interviews. Gone are the days where people selected the person on who can do the job the best. Now its who will be liked the most. By the way, none of the companies doubted I could do their job, and some of the jobs I have been applying to have been a little higher than what Ive done. As I am studying I want to progress, but a few recruitment agencies keep referring me to bog standard Accounts roles, with no scope to move up the chain.

And most of the jobs referred to are contract or temp jobs. Again I dont want this. I'm concerned I will have too many of those jobs on my CV and by the end, no employer will hire me:

Heres a brief look at my last 3 years so far:


2009-May 2011: Worked in NHS. Was a temp for 3 months, but they kept me there until I left to go travelling for a few months. I was there for 2 and a half years! After all THAT TIME, they didnt offer me a permanent job. I felt a little insulted, I thought people temp for a few months, then get offfered to stay. Not with me By the way I did not have an interview for this job. I started like a week after the agencies arranged the job for me, along with 2 temps. I outlasted both of them and I know if I didnt leave, I would still be there (as a temp probably!)

Sep-Nov 11: I worked at a big company for 2 months. Was told before it was just gonna be 2 months and thats all. I did have an interview, but I was the only one invited so I was bound to be offered the job unless I did something stupid e.g. Wear Tshirt and shorts


2012: I was unemployed for 7 months! 7 months for someone who has good experience and studying to become a chartered accountant (I have done 4 exams so far, taking 1 this December). I went to several interviews, sometimes against lots of people, sometimes against one person. I was not successful in any of them. It was SOUL DESTROYING.

Until I got a 6 week contract end of July this year. Now thats finished. Weasent quite right for me, but again I gave 100% and the manager was very greatful of the work I did. By the way I didnt have an interview for this, but I had an interview for another job at the same company a few months ago, and we know what happened.

Last 2 weeks Ive had 2 interviews for permanent jobs and not succesful.

I am getting really depressed at why no company wants to hire me long term. The only people willing to hire me are for just a short period.

This is affecting other areas of my life, I feel I am restrcited by my lack of job. E.g. I cant move out of my parents house until I get a long term job. women are unlikely to date someone still living at home.

I see lots of my friends at around my age, they are settled down with a girlfriend, their own place, nice car, maybe married. Lots of social life etc...But they all have one thing in common, they have a stable job. I dont have any of that, but I think if I get a job, other things in my miserable life will fall into place.


One of my friends described me as the person who puts a lot of effort into all areas of life, but for some reasons, gets back very little or nothing, and having very bad luck!


I dont know what to do. Should I move country, maybe it may be easier to get a job with companies who appreciate actual skills and not how you come accross in a 50 min chat.

It's always been about how much people like you, probably even more so generations back. It's how the job industry works. You don't even have to chat **** for the entire interview, just engage the other person, they are probably pretty bored as well! If you need to lie to make up a funny story or situation then do so, it'll defuse the tension of the interview and might even break the interviewer to start speaking to you on a personal level.


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[repoman]

Well little update, a week and a half ago, started a new which will last 3 months (for now at least) So good to get some money for christmas. I did have an interview which lasted about 15 mins, she offered the job and started the next day, think they wanted someone ASAP as someone left the week before without giving notice.

Still looking for a permanent job in the meantime.