The Student Room Group

So, what do you do if two weeks have gone by and you havent socialised much?

Basically, two weeks have gone by and i havent spent much time with a lot of people outside my flat. Despite the fact that my flat doesnt really go out/are not my type of people to go out with anyway -_-. I've met a few people outside my flat, which i am on good terms with. Some people i've spent hours with and some no more than half an hour. I have their number, i dont know if itd be awkward if i just tag along with their flat/group so late into uni, especially if i had only met them for like a half hour. Especially not sure if i should knock on random people's flat and introduce myself. I'm not too good at socialising with people who all know and have bonded with each other and i know/bonded with none of them. I feel like i missed my window of opportunity to join a social group that i fit in during fresher's and i dont know what to do. Uni hasnt been anywhere near as good as id hoped it to be. Dont know what to do. Feel like going home, sick of trying to make new friends :angry:
Reply 1
Original post by 4RealBlud
Basically, two weeks have gone by and i havent spent much time with a lot of people outside my flat. Despite the fact that my flat doesnt really go out/are not my type of people to go out with anyway -_-. I've met a few people outside my flat, which i am on good terms with. Some people i've spent hours with and some no more than half an hour. I have their number, i dont know if itd be awkward if i just tag along with their flat/group so late into uni, especially if i had only met them for like a half hour. Especially not sure if i should knock on random people's flat and introduce myself. I'm not too good at socialising with people who all know and have bonded with each other and i know/bonded with none of them. I feel like i missed my window of opportunity to join a social group that i fit in during fresher's and i dont know what to do. Uni hasnt been anywhere near as good as id hoped it to be. Dont know what to do. Feel like going home, sick of trying to make new friends :angry:


I feel like this will be me soon. But what I do think is that perhaps meeting people during freshers' week is not as important as meeting people on your course since these are the people who you're going to see often for the next few years. I think the advice is also to join societies and meet people that way since these people will have similar interests. But I wouldn't take my word for it; I don't move in until tomorrow.
In a pretty similar position here in that I haven't really clicked with the people I live with. By the time I realised I wasn't going to be good friends with any of them, groups had already formed elsewhere in the halls and the way it's set out makes it pretty hard to meet people other than those near you.

On the other hand, I know there are many people with this problem. You throw a random group of people together and the likelihood of them becoming best friends is definitely not a given. I've met quite a few really nice people on my course and through coursemates and while quite a few of them are mainly close to their flatmates there are several others who, like us, just haven't clicked with them. It will take a bit longer, but you'll find others in the same position as you and it's definitely not too late imo. I'd recommend societies if you haven't joined some already as you're more likely to find others in the same position as you there and even if you don't just mention to people that you've not bonded with the people in your flat. I've gotten a few invitations and phone numbers this way - people are still really open at this point and I reckon they will be for at least another few weeks. Just get out there and talk to people a bit, even if it's just small talk because it provides an opportunity to come back and talk again until you get closer.

I don't think anybody is really close to the people they've only known for 2 weeks, some are just good at faking it, for security, and many just cling onto their flatmates because it's the easiest thing to do when you're somewhere completely alien and things are a bit overwhelming. It takes a while for real friendships to form, I think we just need to adjust our expectations and be patient. Keep talking to the people you're on good terms with and don't give up yet!
Reply 3
I really didn't spend any time with people outside my flat/block, They where like minded and didn't go out clubbing much, so it was fine. Also its quite hard to get to know people in other flats as everybody tends to say with their own group / flat (in general)
However you tend to make a new group of friends on your course (course mates :biggrin:) and after you sit next to each other for so long you really get to know each other and then you can go out with them etc.. or even live with them in a house the next year!(in my case)
It's a weird time. You've got to try and act as if some people that you've known for at most 2 weeks are your friends just like the friends you had at school who you'd known for years. But it's not always going to be like that. Get involved in societies and clubs and things will gradually come together for you. It will probably take at least a couple of months for you to feel fully settled in and at home, so don't worry too much.
Original post by belligerent ghoul
In a pretty similar position here in that I haven't really clicked with the people I live with. By the time I realised I wasn't going to be good friends with any of them, groups had already formed elsewhere in the halls and the way it's set out makes it pretty hard to meet people other than those near you.

On the other hand, I know there are many people with this problem. You throw a random group of people together and the likelihood of them becoming best friends is definitely not a given. I've met quite a few really nice people on my course and through coursemates and while quite a few of them are mainly close to their flatmates there are several others who, like us, just haven't clicked with them. It will take a bit longer, but you'll find others in the same position as you and it's definitely not too late imo. I'd recommend societies if you haven't joined some already as you're more likely to find others in the same position as you there and even if you don't just mention to people that you've not bonded with the people in your flat. I've gotten a few invitations and phone numbers this way - people are still really open at this point and I reckon they will be for at least another few weeks. Just get out there and talk to people a bit, even if it's just small talk because it provides an opportunity to come back and talk again until you get closer.

I don't think anybody is really close to the people they've only known for 2 weeks, some are just good at faking it, for security, and many just cling onto their flatmates because it's the easiest thing to do when you're somewhere completely alien and things are a bit overwhelming. It takes a while for real friendships to form, I think we just need to adjust our expectations and be patient. Keep talking to the people you're on good terms with and don't give up yet!


Got to agree with pretty much all of this.

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