Anyone else still feeling unhappy?

Original post by roddyframe

So it's been 3 weeks. I'm in a hall I don't like ( Ashburne) which has no social aspect whatsoever, no one goes in the common rooms. I have made 2 friends, but they have friends in other halls too, so often go there. There's another girl downstairs but she admits she doesn't like going out. A girl on my course and I went out last week which was good, and another girl who is sharing a private flat. I am so jealous of her! Lovely flat and great flatmates. I just feel so lonely in my room at night, and Manchester is so big I feel like I'll never find my way round. Thinking of changing halls but don't know if that will make it worse?
Anyone else still feeling the same?

It's not uncommon for people to still feel like this at this point in the year (and I was speaking to a second year the other day who said that she really didn't enjoy her time in Ashburne at all). There are two courses of action available to you - which can be used in combination or alone.

- Move to another, nearby halls. This will make it easy to carry on seeing those friends that you have made in Ashburne, whilst being easier for you to make new friends. Owens Park would seem like a good option - very close, still catered, and very sociable.

- Think about other sources of friends. Some courses are good for making friends (generally those where you see the same group of people several times a week, have labs, and regular group work) whereas others (like mine) are appalling in terms of making friends because you pretty much never see the same people twice.

There are also a variety of societies. Probably those that are best for making friends are those that have a shared activity several times a week (e.g. sports practice) and an active social calendar, but whatever your interests I'm sure you can find something that will interest you. Some clubs (especially sports) stop taking on new members a few weeks into term, simply because of the practicalities (the necessity to have all the new starters at a similar standard, or a limited number of spots on the team), so this is something that is best done now. Don't worry about not having signed up at freshers fair, just send the president an email and ask about joining.
Sports socs: http://www.sport.manchester.ac.uk/athletic-union
Non-sports socs: http://manchesterstudentsunion.com/societies

Reply 2

T Evans

Original post by roddyframe

So it's been 3 weeks. I'm in a hall I don't like ( Ashburne) which has no social aspect whatsoever, no one goes in the common rooms. I have made 2 friends, but they have friends in other halls too, so often go there. There's another girl downstairs but she admits she doesn't like going out. A girl on my course and I went out last week which was good, and another girl who is sharing a private flat. I am so jealous of her! Lovely flat and great flatmates. I just feel so lonely in my room at night, and Manchester is so big I feel like I'll never find my way round. Thinking of changing halls but don't know if that will make it worse?
Anyone else still feeling the same?

Hi, halls is a strangely solitary experience and not for everybody. And changing may not be change that. I have an opening in my house in Withington, at £68 a week its cheaper than halls, and a lot cleaner! I'm going abroad so will not be needing it, and the 3 other guys im sharing with are a solid bunch. email me or reply to this if you're interested.

Reply 3

Original post by T Evans

Hi, halls is a strangely solitary experience and not for everybody. And changing may not be change that. I have an opening in my house in Withington, at £68 a week its cheaper than halls, and a lot cleaner! I'm going abroad so will not be needing it, and the 3 other guys im sharing with are a solid bunch. email me or reply to this if you're interested.

If the OP was to move into the privately rented sector, then they would remain liable for rent on their room in halls. The only exception to this is if they could find a replacement tenant for their room in halls - which is highly unlikely given that Manchester appears to have had something of an oversupply of halls this year.

To avoid confusion, if OP moved into another room in halls, or dropped out of uni altogether (not that I am, in any way, recommending the latter) then they would no longer be liable for the rent on their current room.

I've moved your original post into accommodation classifieds, where it should originially have been posted, but a redirect link will remain in place for a few days so people can still find it. Please don't post the advert anywhere else though :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 4

OP

hanks for your help. I am seriously thinking about changing halls, gorgeous room but I feel so unhappy. I have joined a society and plan on going this week but I may look at a few more. Thanks for your help.

Reply 5

llama-beans

13

Original post by roddyframe

So it's been 3 weeks. I'm in a hall I don't like ( Ashburne) which has no social aspect whatsoever, no one goes in the common rooms. I have made 2 friends, but they have friends in other halls too, so often go there. There's another girl downstairs but she admits she doesn't like going out. A girl on my course and I went out last week which was good, and another girl who is sharing a private flat. I am so jealous of her! Lovely flat and great flatmates. I just feel so lonely in my room at night, and Manchester is so big I feel like I'll never find my way round. Thinking of changing halls but don't know if that will make it worse?
Anyone else still feeling the same?

Move halls. I had a terrible time in halls in my first year, but stuck with it. I'm in my final year now and I'm still unhappy.

Reply 6

OP

Original post by llama-beans

Move halls. I had a terrible time in halls in my first year, but stuck with it. I'm in my final year now and I'm still unhappy.

I have got the forms now. One of the girls has already given up and transferred to a uni nearer home. I'm close to that point myself. I just hope a new hall will make a difference because at the moment I really feel like doing the same...would never recommend this hall to anyone. Which hall were you in llama?

Reply 7

ancientone

8

There is a further option for making friends - one that unfortunately too many students don't take. This is a big city and there are literally thousands of organisations - voluntary, charitable, political, sporting etc, that are run by and for the local community. Try and find some of them and you might find friends there.

Reply 8

JamesYoung

Original post by roddyframe

I have got the forms now. One of the girls has already given up and transferred to a uni nearer home. I'm close to that point myself. I just hope a new hall will make a difference because at the moment I really feel like doing the same...would never recommend this hall to anyone. Which hall were you in llama?

aww, I'm happy to meet up if you like.. what course you studying? I'm a first year and in Oak House, and whilst I have an awesome flat and am happy, as soon as walk out my flat I feel the same as you do.

Manchester is a very large university and depending on your course, you could have very few course mates - this is me. I'd say get into societies. I probably should, but can't be bothered.

I'd say come Oak House if you're willing to cook a little - you'd certainly save! You probably have a 5% chance of having a crap flat, which is small in the grand scheme of things. :smile:

Reply 9

Gobble11

I am also feeling this way.

I have made a few friends outside of halls on my course but haven't really done any real socialising with them.

I thought that I was pretty good friends with my flatmates until last night when I had a bit of a realisation that they weren't the sort of people that i thought they were.

Now I'm starting to feel like I've left it too late to try making new friends as everyone probably has their own friendship groups by now.

Reply 10

JamesYoung

Original post by Gobble11

I am also feeling this way.

I have made a few friends outside of halls on my course but haven't really done any real socialising with them.

I thought that I was pretty good friends with my flatmates until last night when I had a bit of a realisation that they weren't the sort of people that i thought they were.

Now I'm starting to feel like I've left it too late to try making new friends as everyone probably has their own friendship groups by now.

Some have, some haven't. I'm a first year there too. A lot of people will start seeing the true colours of people. At first, people try and different. With time, they won't be able to keep it up. Join societies, try and chat to other people in your block that perhaps you haven't chatted to before? In Oak House there's 32 people in a block so it's hard not to make friends with some people, at the very least.

Reply 11

tillytots

Original post by Gobble11

I am also feeling this way.

I have made a few friends outside of halls on my course but haven't really done any real socialising with them.

I thought that I was pretty good friends with my flatmates until last night when I had a bit of a realisation that they weren't the sort of people that i thought they were.

Now I'm starting to feel like I've left it too late to try making new friends as everyone probably has their own friendship groups by now.

It's definitely not too late to start making friends! I'm in my second year now and am only finally starting to make good friends on my course. It's still only the first term and alot of people are still in the tinted glasses about their flatmates being the best. It will soon change don't worry, as I said, if anything my closest friends are the ones I made as the year progressed. Talk to people on your course and definitely join some societies.

Reply 12

Lhughes

Original post by roddyframe

So it's been 3 weeks. I'm in a hall I don't like ( Ashburne) which has no social aspect whatsoever, no one goes in the common rooms. I have made 2 friends, but they have friends in other halls too, so often go there. There's another girl downstairs but she admits she doesn't like going out. A girl on my course and I went out last week which was good, and another girl who is sharing a private flat. I am so jealous of her! Lovely flat and great flatmates. I just feel so lonely in my room at night, and Manchester is so big I feel like I'll never find my way round. Thinking of changing halls but don't know if that will make it worse?
Anyone else still feeling the same?

Hey there, I definitely think you should consider switching halls! I had the same problem as you when I first moved in; I moved into Canterbury Court in Victoria Park and instantly hated it. I rang the accommodation office and managed to get a switch to Oak House the next day. Best decision of my life, there's so much going on at Oak and so many people to meet! I know there's space here as well if you did decide to move (my own flat even has a spare room, so do a few of my mates' flats).

Reply 13

Original post by Blackdog

x

Hi, would it be possible to include your review in the accommodation FAQ? if you want to have a look at it, then I've included a link in my signature. Only one question though - what year were you there?

Reply 14

OP

Thank you every one for all your help. It's nice to hear that some people are still feeling the same way, but I just feel like it has got me down so much now that I am beyond moving halls. I know I could still make friends, but black dog has absolutely hit the nail on the head about Ashburne, I feel like I've been in a prison, and it has coloured my life so much that I just want to start again. Reading week next week, and I'm going home with the distinct possibility, if I can get it all sorted to only come back to collect my stuff and go home. I so wish my experience had been different, but I would never recommend Ashburne to anyone.

Reply 15

Original post by roddyframe

Thank you every one for all your help. It's nice to hear that some people are still feeling the same way, but I just feel like it has got me down so much now that I am beyond moving halls. I know I could still make friends, but black dog has absolutely hit the nail on the head about Ashburne, I feel like I've been in a prison, and it has coloured my life so much that I just want to start again. Reading week next week, and I'm going home with the distinct possibility, if I can get it all sorted to only come back to collect my stuff and go home. I so wish my experience had been different, but I would never recommend Ashburne to anyone.

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It's a shame to hear that. Have you thought about what youre going to do if/when you go home?

Reply 16

OP

I'm going to go back to my part time job while applying for others too. I may try to look into doing some voluntary work/ work experience as I was never sure what I wanted to do after my degree anyway. Then reapply to UCAS for next year, with home and away choices. Then hopefully by June next year when I have to make a final decision I will know what I want to do. Maybe I just wasn't ready for this, even though I thought I was?

Reply 17

Original post by roddyframe

I'm going to go back to my part time job while applying for others too. I may try to look into doing some voluntary work/ work experience as I was never sure what I wanted to do after my degree anyway. Then reapply to UCAS for next year, with home and away choices. Then hopefully by June next year when I have to make a final decision I will know what I want to do. Maybe I just wasn't ready for this, even though I thought I was?

It's always hard to know what's best.

Out of interest (and this sounds really random), are you from Merseyside?

Reply 18

OP

Original post by Origami Bullets

It's always hard to know what's best.

Out of interest (and this sounds really random), are you from Merseyside?

It is very random, but yes I am. Why? :smile:

And just to keep you updated, I have withdrawn now and feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

Reply 19