I'm pretty much obsessed with this girl, and it's starting to upset me

There's this girl who I went on a couple of dates with, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no and I just cannot get over her. I really really want her to be my girlfriend, she's by far and away the prettiest girl I've dated and I just think she's amazing. I don't want anyone other than her and it's upsetting me now because she doesn't want me but I can't help myself. I look at her facebook all the time and it all feels terrible as she's been hurt badly by other boys and I've tried my best to be lovely to her but she just doesn't like me. I feel like a really bad person for not being good enough for her and for having such strong feelings for her. I'm quite shy, don't have many friends, don't get to meet many girls and I'm not confident or good-looking enough to ever find someone as attractive as her again. It's starting to affect my chances with other girls who like me because I just don't find them attractive in comparison to her. Just seeing her getting on with her life and me never being good enough for her and wanting her when I can't have her is making me feel worthless. It's been going on for months now and I still can't get over her, I don't feel like I'll ever meet a girl that compares to her taking everything into account. I text her occasionally but she doesn't reply, and I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

Reply 1

GOANUBIS

Sounds like love and love is patient

Reply 2

a10

19

Original post by Anonymous

There's this girl who I went on a couple of dates with, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no and I just cannot get over her. I really really want her to be my girlfriend, she's by far and away the prettiest girl I've dated and I just think she's amazing. I don't want anyone other than her and it's upsetting me now because she doesn't want me but I can't help myself. I look at her facebook all the time and it all feels terrible as she's been hurt badly by other boys and I've tried my best to be lovely to her but she just doesn't like me. I feel like a really bad person for not being good enough for her and for having such strong feelings for her. I'm quite shy, don't have many friends, don't get to meet many girls and I'm not confident or good-looking enough to ever find someone as attractive as her again. It's starting to affect my chances with other girls who like me because I just don't find them attractive in comparison to her. Just seeing her getting on with her life and me never being good enough for her and wanting her when I can't have her is making me feel worthless. It's been going on for months now and I still can't get over her, I don't feel like I'll ever meet a girl that compares to her taking everything into account. I text her occasionally but she doesn't reply, and I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

it sounds like she's the first girl you have ever had such a connection with? If it is its perfectly normal your just going through a phase that many guys go through, you just need to gain confidence in yourself and dont be "too nice" girls dont really like it wen guys are wayy "too nice" just have fun be flirty and enjoy yourself thats the most important thing :tongue:

It doesnt matter whether she doesnt like you there's a lot of other girls out there you just need to start building your confidence just practise by talking to a number of girls a day(not even for gf or flirty purposes) im just talking general speaking n you will get a lot more confident with any girl very quickly! :smile:

P.s if she's not replying at all dont bother just let her go!

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 3

Classical Liberal

19

Move on. Find somebody new.

Reply 4

Studentus-anonymous

12

Move on. Find somebody new.

Reply 5

michael clayton

15

Move on. Find somebody new.

Reply 6

jilebinator

12

Move on. Find somebody new.

Reply 7

alis-volatpropriis

15

She doesn't know what she's missing out on. I wouldn't be surprised if she's one of those girls who wouldn't give a nice guy the time of day, but wants a rough on the edge guy.
Then when she gets hurts, she wonders why.

If you play with fire, you're bound to get burnt.

Reply 8

EonBlueApocalypse

13

^What a douche for breaking it.

Move on. Find somebody new.

Reply 9

The Mr Z

13

Original post by Anonymous

There's this girl who I went on a couple of dates with, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no and I just cannot get over her. I really really want her to be my girlfriend, she's by far and away the prettiest girl I've dated and I just think she's amazing. I don't want anyone other than her and it's upsetting me now because she doesn't want me but I can't help myself. I look at her facebook all the time and it all feels terrible as she's been hurt badly by other boys and I've tried my best to be lovely to her but she just doesn't like me. I feel like a really bad person for not being good enough for her and for having such strong feelings for her. I'm quite shy, don't have many friends, don't get to meet many girls and I'm not confident or good-looking enough to ever find someone as attractive as her again. It's starting to affect my chances with other girls who like me because I just don't find them attractive in comparison to her. Just seeing her getting on with her life and me never being good enough for her and wanting her when I can't have her is making me feel worthless. It's been going on for months now and I still can't get over her, I don't feel like I'll ever meet a girl that compares to her taking everything into account. I text her occasionally but she doesn't reply, and I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

Firstly, admit this to yourself; it's never going to happen.

Firstly - separate yourself from her. Do not seek her out, do not text or call her, do not look at her on Facebook (remove her as a friend) You don't have to actively avoid her, if you meet by chance be civil but brief.

You'll find you think about her all the time, but this will subside and you'll start to think about other things, until one day she barely crosses your mind.

In the mean time, find other things to do, spend your time with friends (who preferably aren't mutual friends) or get involved in clubs and societies more, even bury yourself in your work.

Don't force yourself to try and see other girls too soon, as it'll just bring back memories, but don't let it get in the way of something happening with someone else either.

Key things are;

Distance

Distraction

Time

And eventually you will forget her.

Reply 10

Palatial Veranda

12

This age old Romanian maxim springs to mind.

Treceţi. Găsiţi pe cineva nou.

(Move on. Find somebody new)

Reply 11

jumpingjesusholycow

18

I have nothing else to say that he doesn't cover.

Reply 12

MAchInE_hEAd

7

When I find myself in this situation I ask myself 'What would Yoda do?'

He would probably say 'Time to move on and find somebody new, it is. Yeesssssss.'...or something to that effect.

Reply 13

Eboracum

18

I'm sorry to hear this son. Girls can be evil creatures at times.

Reply 14

doobucks

16

Move on. Find somebody new.

Reply 15

Jimbo1234

20

Original post by Anonymous

There's this girl who I went on a couple of dates with, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no and I just cannot get over her. I really really want her to be my girlfriend, she's by far and away the prettiest girl I've dated and I just think she's amazing. I don't want anyone other than her and it's upsetting me now because she doesn't want me but I can't help myself. I look at her facebook all the time and it all feels terrible as she's been hurt badly by other boys and I've tried my best to be lovely to her but she just doesn't like me. I feel like a really bad person for not being good enough for her and for having such strong feelings for her. I'm quite shy, don't have many friends, don't get to meet many girls and I'm not confident or good-looking enough to ever find someone as attractive as her again. It's starting to affect my chances with other girls who like me because I just don't find them attractive in comparison to her. Just seeing her getting on with her life and me never being good enough for her and wanting her when I can't have her is making me feel worthless. It's been going on for months now and I still can't get over her, I don't feel like I'll ever meet a girl that compares to her taking everything into account. I text her occasionally but she doesn't reply, and I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

Getting someone to like you is the same as getting someone to buy a car - what are you offering her that she needs, wants, or likes?
Now that you realise the answer to the above is nothing, what are you going to do to fix it? :redface:

Reply 16

username196545

19

Original post by alis-volatpropriis

She doesn't know what she's missing out on. I wouldn't be surprised if she's one of those girls who wouldn't give a nice guy the time of day, but wants a rough on the edge guy.
Then when she gets hurts, she wonders why.

If you play with fire, you're bound to get burnt.

You know literally nothing about this girl.. :curious:

Reply 17

Fibrillation

6

Original post by Anonymous

There's this girl who I went on a couple of dates with, I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said no and I just cannot get over her. I really really want her to be my girlfriend, she's by far and away the prettiest girl I've dated and I just think she's amazing. I don't want anyone other than her and it's upsetting me now because she doesn't want me but I can't help myself. I look at her facebook all the time and it all feels terrible as she's been hurt badly by other boys and I've tried my best to be lovely to her but she just doesn't like me. I feel like a really bad person for not being good enough for her and for having such strong feelings for her. I'm quite shy, don't have many friends, don't get to meet many girls and I'm not confident or good-looking enough to ever find someone as attractive as her again. It's starting to affect my chances with other girls who like me because I just don't find them attractive in comparison to her. Just seeing her getting on with her life and me never being good enough for her and wanting her when I can't have her is making me feel worthless. It's been going on for months now and I still can't get over her, I don't feel like I'll ever meet a girl that compares to her taking everything into account. I text her occasionally but she doesn't reply, and I don't know how much longer I can go on feeling like this.

You haven't really said much about her other than her being really pretty. No mention of you really hitting it off as friends or anything. Maybe you won't find anyone prettier than her, but you'll almost certainly find someone who wins you over three times harder with a great personality. If its meant to happen, it will.
Otherwise, move on. Find somebody new.