Girlfriend met guy at a party.. Is this appropriate?
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Original post by syrettd
If you were single. Even if she didn't sleep with this guy (personally I think she probably did. Just because she's not having sex with you doesn't mean she's not having sex. I used to have a friend who pretended to be a virgin and sex was too painful with her boyfriend because she didn't actually fancy him- he was rich, she was a bitch) she shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed as another guy. Especially if you're not happy with it. She's coming across as a very horrible person.
She did it once before we got together and admits she was wrong (rare for her).
If he had sex with her, how is her hymen still intact? I can't even fit more than one finger inside her (sorry to be graphic) because it would brake her hymen, i can feel it..
She shouldn't of done it no, but she is a virgin, she wouldn't of lost it with him on a random night.
She's just not that type of girl. She is however very very nieve.
God i just remembered, i didn't even mention the time my mate slept in her bed..
My mate came down for a piss up, saw her made a comment, i said she's off limits me and her got something going on.. went out, came home pissed, he went up to her room and spent the whole night up there.
Suffice to say, i don't speak to that little **** anymore.
She just doesn't see when things aren't acceptable to do.
I know she didn't shag either of them, unless they have really small dicks.. and unfortunately i do know one of them doesn't.
Did she do anything else.. i.e let him finger her.. I would say it's possible.. but why.. he is just a mate, she does seem to love his personality, but she isn't attracted to him, and she doesn't do things easily with people.. it was months of being very close before we did anything sexual together..
Doesn't really sound like she would consider herself to be your girlfriend to be honest mate.
It also sounds like she has been ****ing with your head a bit and you have indulged her with it.
You might just have to accept that she doesn't see you in the way you see her and move on. No amount of following up on what she does and pressuring or whatever is going to make things any better. It is just going to feed her ego and destroy your self esteem.
I would just back off for a bit and see what happens. Chances are, when you stop chasing her she will just carry on regardless and won't even get in touch with you.
It also sounds like she has been ****ing with your head a bit and you have indulged her with it.
You might just have to accept that she doesn't see you in the way you see her and move on. No amount of following up on what she does and pressuring or whatever is going to make things any better. It is just going to feed her ego and destroy your self esteem.
I would just back off for a bit and see what happens. Chances are, when you stop chasing her she will just carry on regardless and won't even get in touch with you.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Actually they are quite small, but she is tiny. I used to love the big Babylons, but she converted me.
Sad thing is, so many people have said the same thing basically.. why am i with her.
I didn't even mention the things i found out she said about me over email to her parents.. bad bad stuff, might mention some now actually.
She was said to her mum something like ' (me) said to me that we shouldnt carry on like we are (cuddling and ****) because his feelings will get stronger and he will get hurt. BUT THAT'S FINE BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FEELINGS FOR HIM"
Yup, she said that, to her mum, about me, when i told her we should stop getting close because i was developing feelings and didnt want to get hurt, cause at the time she told me she didnt fancy me.
And that isn't even the worst thing she said. Not to mention the lies about me to her parents.
To be fair though, i haven't caught her out on any lies since we have been together.. but that might just be because now we are 100 miles apart and hardly see each other so it's not as easy, or maybe she really has stopped lying now i'm officially her bf.
She tells me i should trust her, and that i'm paranoid/crazy/possesive/controlling.. she can't seem to see that the sole reason i don't trust her is because of the constant lying and deception before we got together.
FML basically.
Sad thing is, so many people have said the same thing basically.. why am i with her.
I didn't even mention the things i found out she said about me over email to her parents.. bad bad stuff, might mention some now actually.
She was said to her mum something like ' (me) said to me that we shouldnt carry on like we are (cuddling and ****) because his feelings will get stronger and he will get hurt. BUT THAT'S FINE BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FEELINGS FOR HIM"
Yup, she said that, to her mum, about me, when i told her we should stop getting close because i was developing feelings and didnt want to get hurt, cause at the time she told me she didnt fancy me.
And that isn't even the worst thing she said. Not to mention the lies about me to her parents.
To be fair though, i haven't caught her out on any lies since we have been together.. but that might just be because now we are 100 miles apart and hardly see each other so it's not as easy, or maybe she really has stopped lying now i'm officially her bf.
She tells me i should trust her, and that i'm paranoid/crazy/possesive/controlling.. she can't seem to see that the sole reason i don't trust her is because of the constant lying and deception before we got together.
FML basically.
End it. It doesn't sound like either of you are enjoying the relationship, and so far you have said nothing about her that would make me want to be with her. Unless she is rich and gorgeous, she can't be worth all this.
Original post by Anonymous
She did it once before we got together and admits she was wrong (rare for her).
If he had sex with her, how is her hymen still intact? I can't even fit more than one finger inside her (sorry to be graphic) because it would brake her hymen, i can feel it..
She shouldn't of done it no, but she is a virgin, she wouldn't of lost it with him on a random night.
She's just not that type of girl. She is however very very nieve.
God i just remembered, i didn't even mention the time my mate slept in her bed..
My mate came down for a piss up, saw her made a comment, i said she's off limits me and her got something going on.. went out, came home pissed, he went up to her room and spent the whole night up there.
Suffice to say, i don't speak to that little **** anymore.
She just doesn't see when things aren't acceptable to do.
I know she didn't shag either of them, unless they have really small dicks.. and unfortunately i do know one of them doesn't.
Did she do anything else.. i.e let him finger her.. I would say it's possible.. but why.. he is just a mate, she does seem to love his personality, but she isn't attracted to him, and she doesn't do things easily with people.. it was months of being very close before we did anything sexual together..
If he had sex with her, how is her hymen still intact? I can't even fit more than one finger inside her (sorry to be graphic) because it would brake her hymen, i can feel it..
She shouldn't of done it no, but she is a virgin, she wouldn't of lost it with him on a random night.
She's just not that type of girl. She is however very very nieve.
God i just remembered, i didn't even mention the time my mate slept in her bed..
My mate came down for a piss up, saw her made a comment, i said she's off limits me and her got something going on.. went out, came home pissed, he went up to her room and spent the whole night up there.
Suffice to say, i don't speak to that little **** anymore.
She just doesn't see when things aren't acceptable to do.
I know she didn't shag either of them, unless they have really small dicks.. and unfortunately i do know one of them doesn't.
Did she do anything else.. i.e let him finger her.. I would say it's possible.. but why.. he is just a mate, she does seem to love his personality, but she isn't attracted to him, and she doesn't do things easily with people.. it was months of being very close before we did anything sexual together..
Maybe she is a virgin. Or maybe she doesn't want sex with you, so her muscles tighten and you can't get anything in. Hymens are broken very easily- quite often years before a girl ever has sex. However, you know her better, so if you're sure she's a virgin she probably is a virgin. That doesn't change things- she still treats you like dog crap she stepped in. Then again, most of the responses on here are saying you should break up with her, but I doubt you'll do it. She's messed with your head too much. I'm willing to bet there's a part of you- maybe just a little bit- that's wondering if all her "I only said/did it because I felt sorry for you" means that you'll never get a better girl than her.
To be honest it sounds like she doesn't care that you're upset over this
Original post by syrettd
Maybe she is a virgin. Or maybe she doesn't want sex with you, so her muscles tighten and you can't get anything in. Hymens are broken very easily- quite often years before a girl ever has sex. However, you know her better, so if you're sure she's a virgin she probably is a virgin. That doesn't change things- she still treats you like dog crap she stepped in. Then again, most of the responses on here are saying you should break up with her, but I doubt you'll do it. She's messed with your head too much. I'm willing to bet there's a part of you- maybe just a little bit- that's wondering if all her "I only said/did it because I felt sorry for you" means that you'll never get a better girl than her.
Maybe.. but she always seems to get horny as **** around me.. And i'm pretty sure it's the hymen not muscles, it's like a physical ring that feels like it's about to snap if anything more than a finger goes in there, and she screams in agony. I've had girls tighten up and it feels totally different.
****, who knows, this is the thing, it should never have happened imo, it could be innocent it could not be, but she shouldn't of done it.
She tells me i treat her like crap.
Your right, my head has been messed up over all this.. i guess i know i should end it, but can't.. I wouldn't even say i'm in love with her, just very very close and care about her deeply.
****s knows.. i gotta leave for hers soon.. long drive and i'm so stressed, she said if we argue this weekend it's over anyway, and i don't think i'm going to be able to stop myself bringing this **** up
OP you are literally the poster child for the phrase "How you start is how you finish".
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe.. but she always seems to get horny as **** around me.. And i'm pretty sure it's the hymen not muscles, it's like a physical ring that feels like it's about to snap if anything more than a finger goes in there, and she screams in agony. I've had girls tighten up and it feels totally different.
****, who knows, this is the thing, it should never have happened imo, it could be innocent it could not be, but she shouldn't of done it.
She tells me i treat her like crap.
Your right, my head has been messed up over all this.. i guess i know i should end it, but can't.. I wouldn't even say i'm in love with her, just very very close and care about her deeply.
****s knows.. i gotta leave for hers soon.. long drive and i'm so stressed, she said if we argue this weekend it's over anyway, and i don't think i'm going to be able to stop myself bringing this **** up
****, who knows, this is the thing, it should never have happened imo, it could be innocent it could not be, but she shouldn't of done it.
She tells me i treat her like crap.
Your right, my head has been messed up over all this.. i guess i know i should end it, but can't.. I wouldn't even say i'm in love with her, just very very close and care about her deeply.
****s knows.. i gotta leave for hers soon.. long drive and i'm so stressed, she said if we argue this weekend it's over anyway, and i don't think i'm going to be able to stop myself bringing this **** up
I know it's hard to break up with someone when they've messed your head like this, my ex was very similar. I don't know if your girlfriend was as bad as he was (although there are a lot of similarities), but I ended up having to see a doctor because of the stress of him trying to stop me hanging out of one of my guy friends, and my doctor made me get in touch with a support group for people who were in mentally abusive relationships! Not saying this is what you need, unless you really feel that's the situation you're in, just pointing out that I know how difficult it is to get out of a relationship that messes with your head. The sad thing is I'm not sure if you'll be able to end it, I don't think I would have got out of my relationship if a guy I knew hadn't started showing interest in me- breaking up my ex's mind game that he was somehow doing me a favour by being with me. It was suddenly "Wait- so I am liked by other people?!"
I know quite a few people on here are saying that you come across as controlling, and it is a little true- but from my experience (and I bet this is the case with you) your partner makes you controlling, by constantly breaking down your trust in them and getting into situations they know will affect you negatively. Your girlfriend knows you feel uncomfortable with her staying round her guy friend's house in his bed, so what does she do? Stay round his house and threaten to sleep in his bed unless you play chauffeur to her whenever she's finished doing who knows what with him. But then you aren't actually telling her NOT to do these things, which is actually controlling, just stating how you don't like her doing them. I think you deserve much better, and if you keep thinking like this, you might be able to get the strength to end the relationship.
Never mind everyone, She just broke up with me, by text, then turned her phone off, 2 hours before i'm supposed to be seeing her :'( :'(
I hate it when your 'partner' makes you seem unreasonable and in the wrong when in fact, it is them in that position. Get rid. Not that you will, you seem infatuated.
It's a bit strange that you're jealous over her friending the guy on facebook. At the clubbing invite, I'd be a bit annoyed too.
But tbh she sounds a royal bitch, so I don't even know why you're with her.
But tbh she sounds a royal bitch, so I don't even know why you're with her.
Original post by Anonymous
Never mind everyone, She just broke up with me, by text, then turned her phone off, 2 hours before i'm supposed to be seeing her :'( :'(
Mate, that's a good thing. From the sound of it you're way better off without and she's just taking advantage of you.
Original post by Anonymous
She did it once before we got together and admits she was wrong (rare for her).
If he had sex with her, how is her hymen still intact? I can't even fit more than one finger inside her (sorry to be graphic) because it would brake her hymen, i can feel it..
She shouldn't of done it no, but she is a virgin, she wouldn't of lost it with him on a random night.
She's just not that type of girl. She is however very very nieve.
God i just remembered, i didn't even mention the time my mate slept in her bed..
My mate came down for a piss up, saw her made a comment, i said she's off limits me and her got something going on.. went out, came home pissed, he went up to her room and spent the whole night up there.
Suffice to say, i don't speak to that little **** anymore.
She just doesn't see when things aren't acceptable to do.
I know she didn't shag either of them, unless they have really small dicks.. and unfortunately i do know one of them doesn't.
Did she do anything else.. i.e let him finger her.. I would say it's possible.. but why.. he is just a mate, she does seem to love his personality, but she isn't attracted to him, and she doesn't do things easily with people.. it was months of being very close before we did anything sexual together..
If he had sex with her, how is her hymen still intact? I can't even fit more than one finger inside her (sorry to be graphic) because it would brake her hymen, i can feel it..
She shouldn't of done it no, but she is a virgin, she wouldn't of lost it with him on a random night.
She's just not that type of girl. She is however very very nieve.
God i just remembered, i didn't even mention the time my mate slept in her bed..
My mate came down for a piss up, saw her made a comment, i said she's off limits me and her got something going on.. went out, came home pissed, he went up to her room and spent the whole night up there.
Suffice to say, i don't speak to that little **** anymore.
She just doesn't see when things aren't acceptable to do.
I know she didn't shag either of them, unless they have really small dicks.. and unfortunately i do know one of them doesn't.
Did she do anything else.. i.e let him finger her.. I would say it's possible.. but why.. he is just a mate, she does seem to love his personality, but she isn't attracted to him, and she doesn't do things easily with people.. it was months of being very close before we did anything sexual together..
Wait....hold on....she's your "girlfriend" but you two have never had sex?
When was there the agreement that you were her boyfriend? Was there ever a time when you both AGREED to be mutually exclusive?
do you even have to think about this?
dude. abort this asap.
cut of ALL contact.
if someone is willing to go over night to another guys house...the hell
if she says just friends, then to her it is damn well just friends.
dude, get a girl who knows what she wants.
abort this ASAP.
and cut of all contact.
^ i mean it. cut it all off. it will be hard, but get this weed out of your garden
dude. abort this asap.
cut of ALL contact.
if someone is willing to go over night to another guys house...the hell
if she says just friends, then to her it is damn well just friends.
dude, get a girl who knows what she wants.
abort this ASAP.
and cut of all contact.
^ i mean it. cut it all off. it will be hard, but get this weed out of your garden
Original post by Goody2Shoes-x
It's a bit strange that you're jealous over her friending the guy on facebook. At the clubbing invite, I'd be a bit annoyed too.
But tbh she sounds a royal bitch, so I don't even know why you're with her.
But tbh she sounds a royal bitch, so I don't even know why you're with her.
I think OP made it clear that this issue ALONE didn't make him jealous, it was several things (talking to him all night, friending him, inviting him out, SEEMING INTERESTED IN HIM) which made him jealous
Original post by Anonymous
So would you agree that it's inappropriate that she met this guy at a party, added him then invited him out? Disregard everything else.. Or would you say that's an ok thing to do when in a relationship?
It's pretty sad this whole thing, i'm 25 and i'm not even sure what's right and wrong in a relationship
It's pretty sad this whole thing, i'm 25 and i'm not even sure what's right and wrong in a relationship
I think it's not too much of an issue if you're fine with it. I personally would find it a bit strange as they've only just met. But the fact that you're not, and she hasn't (from what I can gather) tried to reassure you or apologised for making you worry suggests that she hasn't thought about your feelings.
If your relationship isn't making you happy, you should really think about whether or not you want to continue with it.
EDIT: Just seen the bit apart her dumping you. I know you're upset now and it's hard to deal with, but in the long run I hope you'll find it's for the best.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
If he had sex with her, how is her hymen still intact? I can't even fit more than one finger inside her (sorry to be graphic) because it would brake her hymen, i can feel it..
If he had sex with her, how is her hymen still intact? I can't even fit more than one finger inside her (sorry to be graphic) because it would brake her hymen, i can feel it..
Well that's ruined my smoked salmon and soft cheese bagel.
Oh and someone needs to show this thread to micky flanagan, fingering isn't dead!
(edited 11 years ago)
didnt read, lol
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