Treat them mean and keep them keen

I'm becoming a victim of the treat mean, keep them keen tactic :eek:

I recently met a guy who I dismissed as not being my type, but over time we have been texting and I fast becoming developing an infatuation :eek:

I don't understand how this is happening. He's been asking me out for drinks over the past 3 weeks and I've been saying I'm busy. When we finally arranged to meet up for drinks, I had to cancel because I was ill with a cold. Anyway, we've continued texting, he can be flirty, so I'm starting to look forward to his texts, but I'm having to wait forever for his responses. I suspect he's a bit of a player and I don't want to fall prey to his game. I don't know how I should play it, if/when we go for drinks, I don't want to be played.

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Reply 1

Anonymous #2

So you are the one who keeps delaying / cancelling, and you think he's the one who's playing mind games :confused:

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(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 2

Climbontoyourseahorse

To be honest it sounds to me like it's more you playing him than him playing you. He's repeatedly asked you out for a drink and you've told him all but one time that you were too busy? Most guys would have been put off by that. And I know you had a legitimate excuse for not having drinks with him in the end, but a lot of guys would have read that as you not being interested, or at least would have had their suspicions. So kudos to him for his persistence. What you really fail to realise is that when two people get involved, both have equal potential to mess the other around. So many people get so caught up in protecting their pride and feelings that they fail to realise that they are treating their love interest with the kind of disrespectful behaviour they are so scared of being treated with themselves. How do you know he is a player? Just some 'hunch' you have? For all you know he could be a really decent guy with genuine intentions. Either you decide that he is too much of a player for you to date him or you give him a proper chance and the benefit of the doubt. I'm all for a bit of mystery but keeping him hanging like that is taking the p*ss.

Reply 3

0le

Original post by Anonymous

So you are the one who keeps delaying / cancelling, and you think he's the one who's playing mind games :confused:

Ran out of rep otherwise I'd have +1'ed.

Reply 4

Eboracum

You're playing him dear. Although it appears that he has turned the game on it's head and now you want him.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Eboracum

You're playing him dear. Although it appears that he has turned the game on it's head and now you want him.

Yes he has. My intention wasn't to play him though, I just wasn't sure about him.

Anyway, I'm now ready to meet up with him, I'm just afraid of getting hurt.

Reply 6

Baines3

Take a pocket knife or something incase he does try to hurt you

Reply 7

Lucia.

Ask him out. See what happens.

Reply 8

jamboogy

He's playing the game? Who's crack pipe have you been smoking? :hand:

Reply 9

Farid Jalil

Original post by Anonymous

I'm becoming a victim of the treat mean, keep them keen tactic :eek:

I recently met a guy who I dismissed as not being my type, but over time we have been texting and I fast becoming developing an infatuation :eek:

He wants you for sex

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Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Farid Jalil

He wants you for sex

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Yes that's where my concern is.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by jamboogy

He's playing the game? Who's crack pipe have you been smoking? :hand:

I know it seems to be the other way round but that's honestly not my intention

Reply 12

alexs2602

The only evidence for your hypothesis is that he takes a while to respond. Let me tell you a well kept secret, there are loads of reasons why that might happen. Phone is faulty, lives in/frequents an area with bad signal, he's busy, doesn't want to seem clingy and I'm sure there are other reasons so stop being so paranoid and play it by ear. Unless you intend to sleep with him on your first date I really don't see your concern. Frankly, as others have said, he has a much more justified reason to doubt you. You're looking like bit of a hypocrite.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by alexs2602

Unless you intend to sleep with him on your first date I really don't see your concern.

Haha, that won't happen.

I have to be smart about it.

Reply 14

ViceVersa

He might just be feeling a little discouraged at this point. You finally said yes to him and then had to cancel etc. Many make the mistake of thinking a guy will wait around forever when they just won't. If you are actually starting to like him and become interested you need to show him that you're not gonna play around anymore. Ask him out. I'm sure he's starting to feel like he doesn't want to be played either. Your intention or not it's what's happening.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

They say the thrill is in the chase. Since he's been chasing me and I've finally succumbed, could the thrill be over for him?

Reply 16

ViceVersa

Original post by Anonymous

They say the thrill is in the chase. Since he's been chasing me and I've finally succumbed, could the thrill be over for him?

Only one way to find out..

Reply 17

platorepublic

Life is too short for petty games.

Reply 18

Climbontoyourseahorse

Original post by Anonymous

They say the thrill is in the chase. Since he's been chasing me and I've finally succumbed, could the thrill be over for him?

If he is genuinely interested in you, actually meeting up with him for drinks will not put him off you. Seriously, get over yourself and stop playing this game. Every time you get involved with someone new you put yourself in a slightly vulnerable position. He is doing the same with you. You've just got to work out whether he is worth that risk. If you're not prepared to take that risk, you're either not that into him or you're too immature/selfish for dating, and if you carry on with this stupid game you will probably lose him.