How to get my girlfriend to lose weight?

I love my girlfriend, she's the most genuinely lovely girl I've ever met and I really enjoy spending time with her. HOWEVER, as much as I like her she is very overweight, she has a pretty face which would be very pretty if she lost weight. I'm not going to stop loving her regardless of whether she loses weight or not however if she lost weight it would make both of us happier and increase confidence for both of us.

I'd like to know how to get her to lose weight without hurting her feelings. I don't want her to think that I'm not happy with her the way she is. Plus can anyone tell me the best way for someone who is very overweight to lose weight and tone up etc? I know it's not just as simple as eating less.

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Reply 1

ExploringSCIENCE

Why dot you both join a gym?
Start swimming together?
Jogging? Start something together and enjoy it

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Reply 2

sabian92

Girls = sensitive about their weight. Good luck getting her to do it without hurting her.

*Facepalm*

The only way I can think of suggesting it is join the gym then see if she wants to go with you as something you can do together. She might still be hurt though. I would be.

Reply 3

Dark Horse

Hoho. Don't try it, son.

Reply 4

Steezy

I have the same problem. Very pretty, good body apart from that but flabby tummy.

She knows it as well and is very self conscious of it - but doesn't want to do anything about it.

We both joined the gym a while back and she went like twice (I play sports so couldn't go with her all the time). I know a bit of personal training so tried that with her but she just got angry & gave up, now doesn't want to do it anymore.

Every time I bring something up, I say "I want us both to be healthy, stop eating crap and exercise". To be fair, she cooks decent food most of the time but snacks on ****. She said "don't worry, I will sort it out" but she never does.

I know where you're coming from mate. And if it was me who was gaining weight, I'd take absolutely no offence and sort it out.

I don't know what to do either.

Reply 5

Cheelossom

I don't think you should try and make her lose weight... It's a little insensitive, to try and force her to do that... I mean if she's happy and putting weight on, then just let her be but if it's like shes gaining it because of something like depression or just general unhappiness then you should help her try and stop.
But I guess... If you really want to help her lose weight, then try and do it together, brisk walking or jogging .. or running..or joining a gym together..
But seriously in my opinion just let her be the way she is.. girls don't really like being told that they're overweight ._. it might make them gain more.. just from the self esteem being broken..

Reply 6

Baines3

I think you're stuck with this one.

Just make sure she never goes on top

Reply 7

Steezy

Original post by Cheelossom

So the male's feelings have nothing to do with it either?

Sorry but if you start going out with Cheryl Cole and she eats until she looks like Dawn French, that's slightly out of order on the male. And if he then dumps her, he's being insensitive?

Reply 8

username938518

I think it will be very hard to do that with out hurting her, but I understand why you would want to ask her to do so. Ignore when people say "you shouldn't try to change someone" because your weight has nothing to do with who you are as a person, and as you say, you love someone because of who they are, not what they look like.

I think the best way to get around this is honesty. You need to make it clear that you love her very much anyway and that if she doesn't change you're still going to be attracted to her (it will not go well if she thinks that you think she looks repulsive!) However, if you make it clear that you are concerned and that you just think it was a good idea if she tried to lose a bit of weight. It would also be better if you did it along side her as it always makes you feel less alone.

Eating less is a big part of losing weight! But the way I lost weight was I cut down on how many carbs and fatty foods I ate and increased the amount of vegetables and fruit I ate, and I exercise about 4 times a week :smile:

I hope that helps!

Reply 9

NinjaNerdfighter

Original post by Steezy

I know a bit of personal training so tried that with her but she just got angry & gave up, now doesn't want to do it anymore.

If she's anything like me, she might well have gotten upset over doing things wrong/looking like a fool in front of you. Even when I know my boyfriend is trying to help me (with maths or physics, mostly) I get angry because I feel so stupid

Reply 10

joker12345

Do you live together? If so, do the shopping and don't buy ****, or snack on some healthy foods and share them with her, tell her you want to make a lifestyle change and become healthier etc ... If you're any more direct she'll be offended.

Reply 11

justinawe

Original post by Cheelossom

Surely any good boyfriend would attempt to get her to lose weight, though? When you look at the health repercussions of being very overweight, surely anyone who cares would try to steer her off that path.

Reply 12

Cheelossom

Original post by Steezy

LOL sorry! I'm always one sided of course the males feelings matters too, but yeah... I guess I would too if I were a guy.. But I just don't think it's nice to go changing people.. but yeah... honestly OP you should just talk with your gf about it

Reply 13

Cheelossom

Original post by justinawe

I've never been in a relationship I have no idea what brought me here, or why i kind of answer, but yeah you're right

Reply 14

Haleywood

Perhaps hint at it but don't full out say she needs to lose weight, just let her come to the decision on her own and really support her, when I wanted to lose weight my boyfriend went to the gym with me every wednesday, I loved it and i lost loads of wieght.
Also try encouraging her to ut out the fat in her food and introduce her to new but healthy options like new fruits she may not have tried before ect.
But i do thinks it's really important that you dont instigate it too much otherwise she might get too self-concious and not want to. Hope this helps

Reply 15

jcholzz

Ask her to start coming to the gym with you because "you don't really like going by yourself"!

Reply 16

Goody2Shoes-x

Maybe suggest going out on walks, or swimming together? Or if she goes to buy junk food, kind of say "Ah don't buy that, it's all crap anyway." The worst thing you could do is tell her you no lnoger find her attractive. Maybe gently nudge her into going to the gym or something with you, say you'd like the company, you're trying to get fit etc. It may make her feel less self conscious. Chances are if she's very overweight she's well aware already and is very self conscious.

Reply 17

Hyper_Roll

Original post by Cheelossom

I've never been in a relationship I have no idea what brought me here, or why i kind of answer, but yeah you're right

your answeres were **** why even talk when you haven't been ina relationship before ?

Reply 18

Armani786

go on dinner or luch together but make it a healthy meal so that she can eat it as well as you.
But you should love and accept someone for who they are not for who you want them to be. :redface:

Reply 19

Yawn11

Pay attention bro, the secret is to make her self-conscious and insecure.

Put fit girls on your wall, or use as wallpaper/screensaver on your gadgets.

Start working out, complain that you're worried you've put on a little weight. The fitter you get the more she looks at herself.

Make fat jokes, not blatant or directed at her. But like a tweet or status about how a fat person prolonged your day will do wonders.

You have to be really sensitive about this.... Pull on her flab, but do it in a jokey, and then lose interest completely and pretend not to notice you've hurt her feelings.

Or you know, you could just pretend to accidentally send a text to her directed at your mate saying "my girl has put on a little weight recently too lol".

Or just... Be honest and tell her.