The Student Room Group

10 Myths About Introverts

Scroll to see replies

Reply 20
What exactly is there at university to do other than clubbing? I am quite an introvert and I'm a little concerned as all I ever hear about is how 'I'm going to this university because it has a good nightlife' and 'beer is cheap at this JCR' with regards to entertainment at university.

I was at a Durham open day a month ago and I asked a student what there is to do for people who don't like going clubbing and she said ''Well if you don't go out then there are two guys in this college who play chess....'' Notice the immediate generalisation of 'not clubbing' to 'not going out'. What must she think of introverts, its not as if I'm a complete recluse.
Reply 21
I'm an introvert but I also despise people too.
Hmmm...Most of the above apply, except I DO like parties BUT am not great at talking to new people at them...I think I just like the atmosphere :tongue:
Nice post, think I agree with most of that and like the way it's reversed at the end :smile:
Original post by oh_1993
What exactly is there at university to do other than clubbing? I am quite an introvert and I'm a little concerned as all I ever hear about is how 'I'm going to this university because it has a good nightlife' and 'beer is cheap at this JCR' with regards to entertainment at university.

I was at a Durham open day a month ago and I asked a student what there is to do for people who don't like going clubbing and she said ''Well if you don't go out then there are two guys in this college who play chess....'' Notice the immediate generalisation of 'not clubbing' to 'not going out'. What must she think of introverts, its not as if I'm a complete recluse.


Sports, cultural societies, pubs and bars rather than clubs, exploring the town itself and local area (Durham is very historic, there's Newcastle not too far north, North York Moors not too far south, etc...) Sports doesn't necessarily mean team sports either - you could join the hiking club if there is one, or caving, or archery, squash, snooker etc.

Making the most of your local area is a good one. For example, I went to Swansea, so my housemates and I went on trips to beaches in the Gower Peninsula quite often, because they're close by, and had barbecues on the beach at Swansea Bay which we turned into bonfires after dark. In your case, as well as Durham itself, I'm sure there's plenty of interest in the local area!
Reply 25
Original post by jarasta
Fellow introvert here. Im the type that reads at parties. When once asked why I do this, I said books were more interesting than people. So maybe I am a bit rude. But the points above apply to me. I also hate people telling me to speak more etc. Usually whenever someone says that to me I become upset with them.

Funnily enough though, I tend to befriend people who are extremely *extroverted. The polar opposite of me. I don't know why. Although I do sort of value my introverted friends mode for more serious conversation.

Posted from TSR Mobile


That is rude and renders your presence at the party pointless. If you want to read books then just stay at home :dontknow:
What if you are forced to be an introvert due to a physical disability like stuttering?
How does an introvert behave in online environments?
Is being shy or being an introvert worser?
Can an introvert be converted into the other and vice versa?
Do all introverts dislike changing their attitude?
Do introverts enjoy life more or does extroverts?

Posted from TSR Mobile
Wow never knew I was an intervert. But not 8 and 9


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Original post by jarasta
Fellow introvert here. Im the type that reads at parties. When once asked why I do this, I said books were more interesting than people. So maybe I am a bit rude. But the points above apply to me. I also hate people telling me to speak more etc. Usually whenever someone says that to me I become upset with them.

Funnily enough though, I tend to befriend people who are extremely *extroverted. The polar opposite of me. I don't know why. Although I do sort of value my introverted friends mode for more serious conversation.

Posted from TSR Mobile


I'm very much like you.
Give me a choice of going to KFC or the library I'll always choose the latter. It's more "fun"

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 29
Original post by StUdEnTIGCSE
What if you are forced to be an introvert due to a physical disability like stuttering?
How does an introvert behave in online environments?
Is being shy or being an introvert worser?
Can an introvert be converted into the other and vice versa?
Do all introverts dislike changing their attitude?
Do introverts enjoy life more or does extroverts?

Posted from TSR Mobile


^
What is more important to you, long term happiness or short term??
Reply 30
Everyone I see would say I am extroverted, but in reality I have learned to pretend in social situations. A lot of that list I can really comprehend, and I honestly feel any social part of me shuts down when I am in a room with more that 2 or 3 people (also depending on the people I am with). I am sharing a flat with about 20 people at university, and it's really helped me to come out of my shell a little bit. I am really lucky, my flat isn't the "party" flat as such, but we are all kind of the same.
Original post by Dark Horse
Myth #1 Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.


Taken from http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts...


Hm, the issue is that there are always 2 sides to the same coin, and that list is certainly the shiny side. The list below is a mix of what I have seen combined with a simple reworking of the reasoning in a far less charitable manner eg:


1. Thus they are somewhat inept in talking because most people should have something to talk about. As a golden rule, if you can not talk about who you are, what you like, where you have been, where you are at, and where you want to go (in life) for a long period of time, then you are boring (and note that myth 6. should mean they know a lot about where to go as they think a lot).
2. Again, social ineptitude. Not talking and instead bringing about silence in a social situation is considered rude/weird/shyness etc
3. See above. They are rude for not following universal social graces rather than being rude from being blunt.
4. aka they are judgemental. They think a few people are far better than most.
5. Their lack of social skills means they don't benefit from social interactions in a joyous way as other people do.
6. They avoid reality and the issue of learning to socialise by hiding away and fantasising.
7. They are weird due to 2,3,5, and 6. They can't/won't recall funny stories about what happened with friends etc because either they have no stories or don't see the humorous side of it.
8. Experience shows that most are. You don't get many of these people down at the gym or in a nightclub, but they are all over the anime clubs/websites and game forums.
9. Due to 6, they are in a state of permanent stress due to avoidance of their core issues thus their deep rooted suppression prevents them from relaxing. Solution; lots of alcohol. Result; the person relaxes but has the mentality of someone far younger then they should.
10. They can reach a balance. I personally have seen this and done it myself.


:redface:
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by iamspecial
^
What is more important to you, long term happiness or short term??


By "enjoying life" I mean long term happiness.
:dontknow:
(You don't choose to be an introvert but you can certainly choose to.remain one.)

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 33
I could never work out at all whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert. I really do like being around people and I get grumpy when I'm on my own for too long; but I'd rather be with a smaller group than a huge one and I can be sort of shy around people I don't know.
This is just preaching to the choir. A lot of people on TSR claim to be introverted so of course people are going to justify themselves using this.

A lot of people, including extroverts, value meaningful relationships and connections with people moreso than continuous small talk all the time. It's the reason why people still feel lonely even though they're around people. If you don't establish meaning to connections, eventually it'll become extremely tiresome.

But I've never understood the idea of introverts being 'lost in their own thoughts' it makes them sound like they're thinking of something meaningful. Why is that thought of? I don't know. and where did the idea of them solving puzzles come from? :lol:

Original post by jarasta
Fellow introvert here. Im the type that reads at parties. When once asked why I do this, I said books were more interesting than people. So maybe I am a bit rude. But the points above apply to me. I also hate people telling me to speak more etc. Usually whenever someone says that to me I become upset with them.


That's rude. Being an introvert isn't an excuse for doing that really. Just stay at home or leave early of it gets that boring. Also, how would you enjoy the book at the party?
Reply 35
Original post by Yawn11
There's a reason introverts feel the compelled to discuss their character on this forum on a regular base, and its not to enlighten or educate. :yawn:


So you're agreeing with the cultural generalisation about introverts then. Or saying implicitly that introverts are self-centred misanthropes.

I'm admittedly an introvert (saying admittedly just shows how much of an aberration it appears to 'society proper') and nearly all ten points described me accurately. Unfortunately it's quite obvious to a lot of people at work or wherever that I'm very introverted and certain people seem to enjoy ridiculing the fact that I don't spill every little detail of what I did on a Friday night or how much alcohol I've necked in the last 24 hours. This comes from people considered to be intelligent as well. It's this kind of herd mentality that gets on my nerves.

Unbelievably, if people talk to me I'm actually quite voluminous on certain subjects, and I'll actively talk to people of my own volition and am approachable, despite hearing at secondary school that I was unapproachable and difficult to talk to. If someone talks to me individually, even if it's something I know little about I give my full attention. I'm not afraid of going out socially and join in with sports socials frequently, mixing in with people I don't know, even if it doesn't come as naturally to me as others. I just prefer to talk to people individually and not in environments where it's all about one-up-manship and who can be more of a jock than the other.

So, in short, we introverts apologise for being different to society.
Reply 36
I think every single one of these points apply to me. I hate it when people think I'm shy/quiet, it's just like I don't enjoy speaking unless I have something I actually need to say
Reply 37
Original post by Jimbo1234


8. Experience shows that most are. You don't get many of these people down at the gym or in a nightclub, but they are all over the anime clubs/websites and game forums.

:redface:


This is a staggeringly basic generalisation.
Reply 38
I can't be the only one that thinks giving yourself an arbitrary label most likely based on what is a shoddy piece of the softest science is utterly pointless?
Reply 39
Original post by Sirocco11

So, in short, we introverts apologise for being different to society.


Dear god you people are so self-centred and up yourselves.

Third to half of people are introverts, that's your friends, family spouse, acquaintances. It's nothing new, or undiscovered, and it's not different to society it's part of it.

Goodness, this is just a thread for the socially inept mislabeling and excusing themselves as introverts, to feel special, or justify their character to themselves.

Introverts and extroverts have existed for millenniums, and not everyone is strictly one or the other.

Please get over yourself.

Quick Reply