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Friend Thinks She Was Raped!

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god this sounds really mixed up. i hope for her sake the last post is true, at least then shes not at risk of any STIs or pregnancy! i also think that she sub consciously does remember something of what happened and if she had been raped she wld remember parts of it, even tho it wld be a blur, and know enough to go to the doctors to check shes ok (cos u dont have to reveal rape to check for sti's or pregnancy) you cant force her to do anything, and maybe she is worried and confused but she knows the facts and all you can do is be there for her, if things did turn out badly.but hopefully, she will have learnt from this experience...good luck!

Reply 21

SeanC

Roger Kirk

Actually, I think that if she could be tested to prove that she had had sex, the fact that she might have been unconscious at the time and can't remember things would now be strongly in her favour. Wasn't the law changed recently so that a woman needs to explicitly say yes to sex rather than to explicitly say no, otherwise it may well be rape? Or was that a just a proposed law and it hasn't been made one yet?

Simply a proposal. Drunk women don't get rape convictions, simple as that. There's no proof that any sex wasnt consensual. Especially if she was seen flirting etc with the guy in question earlier in the evening. Noone can prove it was rape beyond reasonable doubt as is the standard in our court system.

Reply 22

-x- Lici -x-

She needs to go to the doctor...there is a new drug being put into spiking drugs which sterilises women, so its really important. The doctors can tell her if she was or wasnt raped - go to female clinic normal docs or family planning. then they will help her.

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

Ach, she seems fairly convinced that's all that happened. And she also said she's already infertile :confused:

On Msn with her now, and she's not brought it up...I think she just wants to let it lie and forget about the whole thing now, should I just let her and say nothing either?

Reply 24

Trousers

law:portal

She called you at 11pm saying she thinks her drink was spiked but made no effort to leave?

Then she carried on drinking till bout 3am when she passed out and thinks she got raped?

Pretty foolish if you ask me.

Nice to hear such a reasoned argument from a future law student.

Reply 25

Helenia

-x- Lici

You're not talking about that Progesterex rumour crap that is being spread round by e-mail are you? That's complete rubbish, no such drug exists.

So yes, she needs to go to the doctor, who may or may not be able to tell if she had sex, and if so, may be able to collect samples.

To the OP - I'm not sure how she knows she's already infertile, but she needs testing anyway, just to be safe.

Reply 26

FireDeuce

You can't go to the police for her, only she can.

Reply 27

xXMessedUpXx

SeanC

There's a fine line between actually being drunk and having you're drink spiked so you appear drunk

Reply 28

Adhsur

Cadre_Of_Storms

if you knew her drink had been spiked why didnt you do do something to get her out of there

:dito:

I'd be panicking and trying to do everything I could if my friend texted me and was obviously in trouble.

Reply 29

Lush Law

I can't believe you fell asleep when your friend had told you her drink had been spiked. That's actually disgusting and just plain careless.

But;

•

Your friend needs to get HIV/STI tested

•

You should encourage your friend to tell her parents

She should still be encouraged to go to the police. They'll take it seriously and they will investigate, but if she's already showered/washed away any DNA evidence then there'll never be a successful prosecution.

Reply 30

L i b

SeanC

Plus this would seem to be in Scotland (reference to St Mirren, a football team in Paisley) and our rape laws were mostly written in the 17th century.

Reply 31

phantom

first of all you both need to be clear what happened on that night, well as clear as you can be. You need to get a clear picture in your mind about what happened, what she cant remember, timings etc. This could help her remember stuff that happened and help her clear it up in her mind a bit.
dont try and give her a lecture! this does not work and will just make her close up.
you should encourage her to go to a clinic or doctors to get herself checked out, if she has been raped then personally i think that the police should be involved. yes she should tell her parents and she should ring the police but if she doesnt want to then it is ultimately her decision, you should not go behind her back and tell them when she doesnt want to.

Reply 32

SeanC

xXMessedUpXx

There's a fine line between actually being drunk and having you're drink spiked so you appear drunk

True but winning an absynthe drinking competition would suggest a voluntary intoxication... if she was drinking absynth then noone would even need to spike her drink.

Reply 33

xXMessedUpXx

SeanC

True but winning an absynthe drinking competition would suggest a voluntary intoxication... if she was drinking absynth then noone would even need to spike her drink.

When you're drink has been spiked, thinking straight is not something that happens. Trust me it's happened to me and some friends. And chances are you won't remember it the next day. Plus it deends entirely on what she was spiked with, some drugs i.e E make people much more sociable and even hyper, so if you were in that state and offered a drink be it abstinthe or not, you'd be in a difficult situation.

Reply 34

WokSz

If she thought her drink was spiked, shouldn't she have left?

Reply 35

shinytoy

im not sure about this, but how severe is her latex allergy? if its severe eg rash/ anaphylactic shock, then she should be able to look at her bits and see if there is allergic reaction if not- none condoms was used and she needs GUM clinic and morning after pill.

also, blood tests can show the drugs. i dont see how at age 17 she knows shes infertile, unless she means shes on the Pill.

the polics doctor can examine the woman to see any bruising that woulds indicate rapes, as can any semen or DNAs on the clothes she wore esp her underwear. this would identify the guys.

Reply 36

kizer

WokSz

If she thought her drink was spiked, shouldn't she have left?

Or she should try and find out if she was as a matter of urgency??

Reply 37

Redefined

Gotta laugh at the onslaught of neg rep for my earlier post.

To further comment on what I was saying, at 11pm she 'knew' something was wrong, maybe it was a spiked drink or maybe she was just drunk. Additionally, she even acted upon this by calling a friend. However, she continued to drink. She even remembered, albeit very vaguely, some more from the night.

If you knew you were in trouble but decided not to act upon it, wouldn't that be foolish? Was she held against her will? The phone calls suggest she wasn't.

Of course if she was raped then of course that is terrible. If somebody spiked her drink, sure that too is awfull. But she could have avoided it.

Reply 38

username47781

obviously you can't let your drink out of site, its all very weird this story.

Reply 39

Redefined

Anonymous

she texted me around 11 saying her drink had been spiked

Anonymous

but again texted me at 3am asking if 75% stuff (absynthe) was strong

Anonymous

Apparently she just gave one of them a bj and then one of her friends walked in and stopped it before the other guy could do anything to her.

Anonymous

Ach, she seems fairly convinced that's all that happened. And she also said she's already infertile :confused:

Sounds like the school girl got a little too drunk, exaggerated the events then cried rape.

I would just like to say I'm taking this point for the simple reason that there is a lot of publicity at the moment telling guys to make sure the girl says 'Yes' before anything happens, just because a girl gets drunk then can't remember a thing or regrets what has happened.

Thanks again for the neg rep's.