Keep feeling so lonely in clubs

I've been at university for a month now and I've been going out a lot. But I keep ****ing up when it comes to nights out with my friends.

First of all I've never had a girlfriend, or had sex. Managed to pull a girl in freshers, but it was no problem solver. Its awful knowing that I'm the only virgin in my entire flat, and worse still that all my virgin friends are one by one getting with people. Just makes you feel so inadequate.

Last night was one of the worst nights. It was pre-drinks, then we got to the club. At this point I was actually having fun, but then to my horror pretty much all my friends got with someone; I think two of them even properly got together with each other.

So really to cut a long story short, I keep going to clubs (even the ones I like), feeling lonely and miserable, not meeting any girls and going home. I desperately want to do all the things that I see and hear going on, but it just never happens. When is it going to happen to me?

How can I stop nights like that happening? Any advice would be much appreciated.

Reply 1

jblackmoustache

Original post by Anonymous

Stop going out to pull or stay in. You're just gonna keep going home disapointed. Going to meatmarkets is bad for your health!

Go to (and force your friends to go to) clubs that play music that you actually like if you're into music like me. When I go out I go to dance and listen to some decent music. I'm into funk, jazz and hip hop but some are into rock where clubs are sausage fests, but these people never complain or get sad. The music makes them happy.

Gigs are also much better for meeting people because you all have more in common. I've met some of the soundest people at gigs

You sound like you want a girl who cares and is nice tether than a one night stand. The club is the worst place to meet women. You don't wanna meet your partner in a dirtbag club. There's nothing good about club girls. You want someone who isn't on that scene like that.

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(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 2

QwertyG

Invite someone who ain't planning to go there just to get laid

Reply 3

Dragonfly07

It sounds like you really enjoy clubbing but your experience is being ruined by the fact that you feel you have to get with someone. Maybe try going with other friends who don't constantly look to getting laid.

Reply 4

Steellio14

I think you should stop worrying and just relax about your whole situation. There's no rush - you've only been at uni for a month! Your friends probably have a lot more experience when it comes to 'pulling' if they've all done what they've said they've done. And think about it this way, if you see someone looking lonely and miserable in a club, you'd probably avoid them!!

Reply 5

Raiden10

Just Dance, It's Gonna Be OK.

No Seriously.

Only going out to pull sounds kinda boring.

Reply 6

James CC

You shouldn't be going out with the expectation of pulling some girl and bringing her back for sex, you should just be going out to have fun.
It doesn't matter if you're all alone in a club while all your friends are with someone, there are people that go clubbing alone.
You'll get there eventually, once you stop worrying about pulling, you'll have more fun and luck.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by jblackmoustache

I totally agree with what you're saying. I hate these horrible vapid clubs that I keep being dragged out to. The best nights I've had at university so far have been either A) Pubs/bars/crawls, or B) Gigs. They're actually more social because you can talk to people. I need to get out there and find some great live music bars. I do like the Indie clubs though.

Club girls are bad. But there is so much rhetoric that goes round about living the Uni life and all that YOLO ****. I just feel so **** because of it. I'd have a one night stand but I don't think it would solve anything. At least I could say I'm not a virgin anymore. What I really need is a girlfriend to give me the confidence I need.

Reply 8

Trigger

Original post by Anonymous

Stop basing success on how many girls you have slept with :lolwut:

they're people not visual **** fodder.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

You've got to stop going out hoping to pull. I'm in my second year and have been out at least twice a week since i moved to uni, but i still haven't even kissed a girl before. It does make me feel like ****, but not when i'm actually in the club. Because i don't go out thinking ''oh tonights the night i'll finally do something''

It does make me feel like **** seeing the other single guys (and girls) in my group of friends be able to get with people every time they go out but most of the time that is all that happens. It doesn't mean they are perfectly happy either. Some of them are as desperate to have a relationship as I am.

I go out, have a laugh with my friends, meet new people. It still hasn't happened for me and i'm starting to doubt it ever will, but because my only aim from a night out is just to have a laugh, i usually succeed. You've got to stop setting yourself up for disappointment.