Dating my friends ex (it ended badly)

No, theres been nothing wrong with your conduct! This girl isn't your friend enough to have any sense of duty towards her. Its basically that you like a guy and youve also met his ex. An ex whose permission you dont need to date him.Obviously, if your bf is still in the closet in general then you can obviously just say you are friends. But if not, you have nothing to be ashamed or sorry for. He likes you, you like him, she is the ex who you barely know. She doesnt have the right to be spanish inquisitioning you like this!

Might be a little bit of a long story but here goes. I'm a lad, 20 and am at University doing my Nursing. I'm gay, not really had a lot of luck with guys, most of them looking for just sex and that sucks after a while.

Anyway, i was very good friends with a girl during school and sixth form. She dated this guy for two years whilst we were in sixth form. She introduced me to him and me and this guy got on very well indeed. Well at the start of me going to Uni, they split up. I obviously heard two sides to the story. She said he was cheating on her but this was clearly not right in the end. Now he started to come out with me and my friends a bit more, and she kinda disappeared from my life. She's the kind of girl who is all her. She doesn't really ask you what's going on in your life and in the past 18 months i have only seen her twice. Think she noticed I was getting more pally with him as she kept texting me asking why i was talking to him ( think she saw it on twitter). Well anyway, about 2 months ago, i noticed a difference in him, he seemed grumpy all the time and that really isn't him. I talked to him and he told me he thought he was gay. He told me that's the reason they split up and was just trying to sort his feelings out. Later on, he then admitted he liked me. And i've fancied him from day one in all honesty and here 2 months later, we are together. And as happy as can be.

Just one issue, my friend. She text me again last week asking me why i was always with him ( must have seen from facebook ) and am just afraid of telling her. I just think its a bit rich of her to be telling me who i can and cannot talk to when she hasn't bothered with me as a supposed best friend for 18 months.

Anyone actually think i've done wrong because I do feel a bit weird about it but the plusses outweight the minuses.

He is 'out'. But she wouldn't know as they haven't got any mutual friends (except me) or anything like that.

Well, shes going to find out at some point. You should do it gently but you dont need or deserve to gag yourself over this and let her interrogate you! What is your bfs opinion?

Well he's generally laid back and reserved anyway but thinks we should tell her but think he's a bit worried what she'd do next, like in regards to twisting things and gossiping about stuff that isn't correct. Cos that's what she's like. We will tell her, just a matter of time i guess. Im surprised she hasn't found out through a 3rd party already in all honesty.

Later on, he then admitted he liked me. And i've fancied him from day one in all honesty and here 2 months later, we are together. And as happy as can be.

Just one issue, my friend. She text me again last week asking me why i was always with him ( must have seen from facebook ) and am just afraid of telling her. I just think its a bit rich of her to be telling me who i can and cannot talk to when she hasn't bothered with me as a supposed best friend for 18 months.

Anyone actually think i've done wrong because I do feel a bit weird about it but the plusses outweight the minuses

If she's going to be a crab, she's going to be a crab (Yeah, I'm experimenting with different insults... ) but it means that you would have control over what info she gets.

Yay



You shouldn't feel ashamed about it, tell her. He was gay anyway, so it's not like you're snatching away something she was going to have.



Good lad; stick with it. I generally don't agree with bros before hos, but she's not even a bro.



Cool insult

Thanks man. Made me feel better about it all. Not something i want to do over text. I want to do it face to face. However, that's easier said than done with this girl.

The thing is, if you build it up to something that must be done face to face, it kind of legitimises her (presumable) outrage. You've done nothing wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.

It's perfectly acceptable to mention it in passing; if she asks why you didn't tell her, you can say that you guys were a bit tentative, you didn't want to be premature in announcing it, wanted to take it slow, and so on. Best of luck with it though, sound like a sensible guy, I'm sure you'll navigate your way through it.