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no one likes me

sorry it's a very long thread
I don't know how and where to start but basically I think no lad has ever liked me. I’m a 17 year old girl and till this age no lad has liked me or asked me out. My friends and my relatives say I am good looking and all those things so I don't think the reason is my appearance.
I used to chat with a lad who was a far relative of mine and lives in a different country. We chatted everyday for few hours and after few months he said that he really likes me and cares about me. I told my mum and she stopped me chatting with him. He used to leave me offline messages asking where I am and if I am ok. Also he was feeling guilty that he told me of how he feels but I wasn't allowed to reply.
My aunt said that his family were very worried about him because he used to chat with me and had stopped studying properly.
Anyway now he madly loves someone else and goes out with her. So he was the first lad who liked me but then stopped.
also I used to believe that thinking about boys is just a waste of time and I have got more important things to think about and I am this type of person who believes in a relationship, it’s the lad who has to take the first step and do all the chasing and if I take the first step I have lowered my pride. Until few months ago everything changed and I like a lad in my school, he’s one year older than me. I think about him day and night and I feel as if I know him for ages and he’s the first lad who I like and think about.
To make him notice me, I hanged around him as much as I could with the help of my friends. Also he’s always with his friends and he’s very shy just like me. I talk about him so much that my friends are very sick of him and me as well.
Also to I talked to him once which I planned it before with my friends and when he was going home I ran after him and started the conversation asking about exams.
Few weeks ago my friends threw a little birthday party for me in school and I told them to ask him to come over and he accepted the invitation. When he came I was so shy so I was looking down and didn’t say anything. He asked whose birthday is it and I looked up for 2sec and said it’s mine and he said happy birthday. We took a photo then he left. So he found out that I like him. I then found out he was forced to come by my and his friends and he said lots of things to my friends which they told me few days latter so I wouldn’t get upset on my birthday.
After that his friends kept staring at me and point at me. He also avoids me now. So I ignore him too.
So basically I lowered my pride for nothing. But I really like him and I am going to fail all my exams because he’s the only thing I think about and care about.
What should I do so lads will be interested in me and will like me?
I am really heart broken and I really feel down.

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Just learn from your experiences (and 'mistakes') they will make you stronger,

no-one likes you? ppppffff you know thats not true! and you made your internet guy fall for you and Im sure you can enchant others with your charm :tongue:

Theres plenty more fish in the sea and you'll meet many more guys you like its only a matter of time....
Reply 2
feel free to PM/email me ill chat to u!

Its not all so bad, ull meet the right guy, 17 too btw and yer sumtimes people are a little bit late to get going and be like their m8s but dont worry about it!
Reply 3
I skim read there so excuse me if I have missed anything major. At 17 it is totally normal to have never had a boyfriend. Let me tell you something..all the girls at school who are saying they've had 3 boyfriends in the past month are lying. Most of the girls who say they have lost their virginity are lying. The majority of those who believe they are in a 'serious relationship' are deluded and will break up by the time they go to university.

Girls have this horrible habit of being rather liberal with the truth whilst growing up. This leads to a hell of a lot of teenage girls feeling really depressed because they don't fit in & then lying so they don't seem weird. They aren't the 'pretty', 'bubbly' type, are still virgins and don't have a boyfriend, so they make stuff up. I did it, my best friends did it and then we all had a good laugh about it once we had grown up a bit and realised how pointless this web of lies was, all it was doing was making us feel worse because we thought our friends were out having all the fun.

The vast majority of my friends didn't gain any sort of relationship experience before they hit 18 and headed off to uni. Just wait until your social circle expands a bit and I promise that you will find people who like you just as you are.

Up until I left 6th form three years ago and went travelling I believed that I was just totally unattractive to the opposite sex and resigned myself to the fate of being alone and miserable. I've since realised that this is a right old load of crap. I didn't get 'boyfriends' at 17 because 17 year old boys are usually incredibly immature and competing to 'pull the best bird'. Once you leave the strange world of school & sixth form and get out into reality things definitely change. Do things you enjoy, have fun, surround yourself by people who you like and who don't suck all the energy out of you.

I have met so many people whilst training for and then working as a ski instructor. I spend my days surrounded by people who love the same things I do, who I feel totally comfortable with and have subsequently had a fair amount of interest from guys and girls. My advice is do something you love on your gap year, or if you are heading straight to uni join up with a few clubs or societies, whether you are learning something new or doing an activity you have loved for ages you will meet like minded people, make new friends and you will naturally have a few encounters with guys. Don't force this, surround yourself by a good crowd of people and it will happen.
Reply 4
^Good advice above.

Aww, don't give up, you can PM me if you feel down again...:smile:

My jaw dropped because I was in an almost identical situation at 17. I had never had a girl ask me out/express interest me (I still haven't), yet I feel madly in love with a girl on the internet, but she met somebody else who was to become her boyfriend, which meant (yet again) I had come what I called "second best". I became extremely depressed, couldn't concentrate because I loved her so much but couldn't see her, and felt so alone and that nobody would ever love me. It turned out, however, that she was a liar, a cheater, a user, and after a certain "compromising situation" where she had lied to her family, she was found out and blamed me, totally mistrusting my judgement. In that way, despite how devastated I was, I was lucky it ended that way, as it allowed me to cut all contact with her and finish any sliver of love I ever had for her. Now I have indirect revenge, because the way she used to lead me on and give hope then happened to her when her boyfriend stopped talking to her, and she said "now I know how you felt" - "they're the first thing you think of when you wake up, and the last thing you think of when you sleep, and you love them so much but you can't reach them". It is awful, and believe me, I know how awful loneliness is, especially when everyone else is rubbing it into your face, lying or not - especially when people complain about their relationships - I always feel like saying "at least you have a relationship to complain about". I have transgender issues, and feel I don't belong in my current environment, apart from with a few friends, which leads me to still feel lonely and unattractive to the opposite sex even now. It seems most people can "get laid" or go on a date with little problem, yet for me, I would be extremely lucky if it happened once. However, I have found that many girls my age that I know are very immature, and have little common interest with me - I want a long-lasting, romantic relationship with a deep connection and intimacy, it seems most people my age want sex. You might feel similarly isolated - in fact the people that want proper relationships tend to be the ones that are often single, and are often incompatible with society's norms.

However, environment plays a huge part - I imagine that you feel you don't belong in your general environment, and feel isolated due to the fact that you cannot relate to others regarding general outlooks on life, and this becomes your reality - that you are socially incompatible. When people around you change, so does the world around you, and it can be an immensely uplifting experience when you can immediately click with almost every person you meet around you.

Good luck and chin up!
Reply 5
tanx very much everyone
so i believe i am not the only one with this problem. i feel so much better now.
Reply 6
Kiddies at least you are in school, I'm well nigh on 20 and am in your position...but you learn to :biggrin: :biggrin: because so long as you're happy with you then who gives a rat's arse whether Mr/Miss OhSoGorgeous thinks so? Eh?




































Well that's what I'm telling myself. It's what I've been telling myself in an attempt o get over someone :s:
Reply 7
...i like you
Reply 8
mrbob
...i like you

that's very nice of you
I'm 17 too, my group of friends are pretty representative of our year in general, some have had some experience, some a lot, some none. There's plenty of people who have had no experience with relationships before uni, and it's not at all a reflection on the person. My best friend is extremely pretty, she's got a great personality, but never attracted a guy (well, thats let her know anyway.)
Reply 10
PM me, u neva know u mite find a friend,! happy to chat weneva!

I think ur rite tho, there r loads o ppl who feel the same, im sure it will change.
Reply 11
alexdg
PM me, u neva know u mite find a friend,! happy to chat weneva!

I think ur rite tho, there r loads o ppl who feel the same, im sure it will change.

u know, i do have some great friends. it's just lads not being interested in me, specially the one who i really like. he was even worried that i am going to ask him out but since i have got too much pride, there's no way i ask him out.
Reply 12
loser
Seriously, do you like hurting yourself! Starting a post saying, "no body likes me", is either blatent attention seeking or you genuinely think that you are the least attractive and appealing girl you know - both are stupid, and a clear waste of time.

Now i know someone is going to say that i'm a **** or insensitive or something, but I dont care.

You have to grow up, this whole playground thing is stupid. The whole, I'm not sure if he likes me, or his friends point... is complete rubbish. Yes, you maybe shy and worried about what he is going to say. Well guest what, EVERYONE IS! No one is totally confident in themselves! Get over yourself and I promise you will start feeling the rewards.

This is what you're going to do, no excuses! If you like him, and want him... You go up to him and say Hi, how are you...blah, blah, blah. I like you! Thats it: I like you! And I would like to get to know you better. Lets go out sometime!

What have you got to lose? Seriously? People may laugh! Big deal! People that laugh at other people are insecure! Even if you don't feel confident, Act it! The old saying that anything you want you can work to achieve it, is true.

Sorry for being nasty. Digging yourself a hole like this is not only stupid, depressing, pointless and self-defeating - it wont help you get what you want. You sound like a sweet girl, and making this post shows that you have a good heart. Take the risk... you may end up with what you want..

Good Luck :smile:

Jason
Reply 14
what they said!

And at 17, believe me, you have plenty of options!
well just reading that made me want to jump off a cliff
Reply 16
As someone who's been unlucky in love and had their fair share of heartbreakings, there's more to life than relationships. I've been where you are now and its not a nice place, but just get over it and look to the future. You have your whole life to meet someone else, and its no good just moping.

It may just be me looking at this from a lads point of view, but pride should have nothing to do with it. If you like someone, go out there and get them. if it pays off, you'll be happy. If it doesn't, then waiting for them would just have drawn it out and cause more pain.
Reply 17
JudeX
what they said!

And at 17, believe me, you have plenty of options!

when my friends asked him to come over he told them he really doesn't want to and it looks awkawrd. also he told my friends to tell me to fancy someone else. so then his friends encouraged him to come over.
it is very harsh to say such thing, "tell your friend to fancy someone else". it sounds very big headed.
but i still like him anyway and i think he's the one for me. he looks very mature, innocent and intelligent as well.
Reply 18
THE PROPHETOR!
Seriously, do you like hurting yourself! Starting a post saying, "no body likes me", is either blatent attention seeking or you genuinely think that you are the least attractive and appealing girl you know - both are stupid, and a clear waste of time.

Now i know someone is going to say that i'm a **** or insensitive or something, but I dont care.

You have to grow up, this whole playground thing is stupid. The whole, I'm not sure if he likes me, or his friends point... is complete rubbish. Yes, you maybe shy and worried about what he is going to say. Well guest what, EVERYONE IS! No one is totally confident in themselves! Get over yourself and I promise you will start feeling the rewards.

This is what you're going to do, no excuses! If you like him, and want him... You go up to him and say Hi, how are you...blah, blah, blah. I like you! Thats it: I like you! And I would like to get to know you better. Lets go out sometime!

What have you got to lose? Seriously? People may laugh! Big deal! People that laugh at other people are insecure! Even if you don't feel confident, Act it! The old saying that anything you want you can work to achieve it, is true.

Sorry for being nasty. Digging yourself a hole like this is not only stupid, depressing, pointless and self-defeating - it wont help you get what you want. You sound like a sweet girl, and making this post shows that you have a good heart. Take the risk... you may end up with what you want..

Good Luck :smile:

Jason

i can't go up to him, he's always surrounded by his friends. also i wanted to email him and tell him everything but then my friends stopped me. they said it's childish and i'll put him off by emailing him because he doesn't know me and it sounds desperate.
i told him i like him but not directly, i did it by inviting him to the birthday party.
Reply 19
I know you... (Gosh I know alot of people on this thread)...

Anyway, don't dwell on this lad too much,you have much better things in your life than him. Don't let your life revolve around this lad, it's just sad; do things in your own time, something that interests you. Maybe, during the summer holidays, you could join clubs of a certain interest and meet lots of other people there.:smile:

Your only 17, you have the exciting future ahead of you, you'll meet someone who'll like you for who you are! Your a great friend, your pretty and you have a fabulous personality. I'm glad I'm close friends with you, I'm being honest; I'm sure you'll have lots of lad after you in the future, more mature ones. Most lads our age are still immature, their still in their little world of fantasy...:p:

Just be happy and enjoy life! Don't let one little rejection put you down. Everyone gets rejected some time in their life. Just move on and learn from your mistakes.

C ya on thursday btw :biggrin:

:suith: Sezkin:suith:

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