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Am I odd or are there many others like this?

So basically Ive never really fitted in or been interested in the typical drinking/party/sex culture that younger people have. People have always said im dead quiet i hug around with a group of girls at school but didnt really enjoy talking i found their conversation boring. Most of the time i was secretly thinking about a judo instructor who i ahd a crush on lol even though he was in his 50's. Ive always been like that ive only fancied men like teachers etc never guys my own age. If anything i kind of used guys my own age as role models like i wanted to be like them in sport etc. Im 27 now and have still not had a boyfriend. Im not pretty which doesnt help but ive never been into fashion, make up and have always looked very plain and tomboyish. My main problem isnt that im just shy but is that i dont care for normal conversation in groups i just cant be bothered talking and just want to do my own thing like go shopping in my car or do something alone.

I had quite a bit of anxiety in my past while at college so went through years of quiting jobs etc. I got on a course at uni (still living at home tho lol) and the placements and success have kind of built my confidence a little but people still put me down and say stuff like they cant imagine me working on wards im far too quiet and that they wouldnt let me treat them etc. Im passing assignments though even if im just scraping by on placements.

Anyway my only 2 friends that ive had for years (they were kind of odd like me didnt fit in with mainstream girls) have moved away. So I just kind of do everything on my own which doesnt bother me. I keep fit a lot everyday and go to the track at a football/sports club I train with people and go 6 nights a week ...have done on and off for 10 years. People have started to ask if i train everyday and im just like 'yea' but is it weird would you say? Its something i like and that keeps me focused. Id go mad sat at home every evening. I wonder what people think of me they ask if i have a boyfriend and i feel like a freak for always saying no. I have been on a date but I just felt tht it interfered with my lifestyle i wanted to do exactly my own thing. Im like 10 years behind in terms of social development lol part of me thinks oh well its a world were anything goes no one will think too much but then another part of me feels like im not on anyones wavelength and that theres something wrong with me for being how i am. I dont know anyone who is like me ..27 and enjoying life like a 14 year old (though i am looking to rent next year). I just want to do everything alone and want me own space. No one knows my much about me i only listen to music and entertain myself when im alone. I try to be more social but I enjoy my own company and own routines. At times i wish i had a bf but in reality i dont want to make time for them.


Just wanted advice.. are there others like me or am I very odd (in a bad way).. Be honest.
Reply 1
TL DR
Well, I suppose it is a bit unusual to be so happy in your own company. Personally, I get bored by myself (even though im by myself a lot in the evenings) And i tend to actively seek company. But the question is: are you happy? If the answer is yes then I don't see a problem. As long as you are happy within yourself and you're not hurting anyone then ignore what any people think about you not conforming to their view on how people should behave :smile:
Reply 3
Original post by Philippexxx
Well, I suppose it is a bit unusual to be so happy in your own company. Personally, I get bored by myself (even though im by myself a lot in the evenings) And i tend to actively seek company. But the question is: are you happy? If the answer is yes then I don't see a problem. As long as you are happy within yourself and you're not hurting anyone then ignore what any people think about you not conforming to their view on how people should behave :smile:


ok cheers, yea I do get bored but then i'l talk to my family or whatever. I do like visiting, catching up with people but I also enjoy going places ie shopping on my own... hate it with someone else have to wait/put an act on and cant do/buy what you want to.) I just like doing my own thing. Im wondering though its not a sign of mental illness or im not at risk of it am I?
Original post by DopeSk1llz
TL DR


What does this mean?
Reply 5
There's people like everyone. I used to think I was one of a kind but realised that wasn't the case.
Reply 6
Original post by J.Nalbandian14
What does this mean?


post was too long to read, i googled it lol.
Reply 7
I could have almost written that (except for the being sporty part, and I'm 23).

I don't know what to say really. I guess we're not 'normal' when compared to most people, but that's who we are. It's not hurting anyone that we prefer our own company either is it! I do sometimes feel the need to be around people but only really as an observer, or participate in conversation as little as possible. Sure people think I'm shy/a bit rude as a result, but its not that really.

...yet I'm a teacher by profession. Go figure.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/i
Reply 8
Original post by noodles!
I could have almost written that (except for the being sporty part, and I'm 23).

I don't know what to say really. I guess we're not 'normal' when compared to most people, but that's who we are. It's not hurting anyone that we prefer our own company either is it! I do sometimes feel the need to be around people but only really as an observer, or participate in conversation as little as possible. Sure people think I'm shy/a bit rude as a result, but its not that really.

...yet I'm a teacher by profession. Go figure.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/i


Thanks, yea i prefere to observe unless i have something funny to say
Reply 9
To answer your question, I'd say there are others, myself being one :smile:
I've got a remarkably similar character to you and always found it hard to make close friends.
Then I had some trouble back home, and I was transplanted into a society where I'd never been. Things were really difficult at first, but what I realised is that people aren't all they seem on the surface. Some who I'd have set down as "not my type" I've actually managed to become quite close to, so I suggest you approach people, they might not be all that different from you :smile:
Reply 10
You don't seem odd to me. I'm a bit older then you and have less social life. I used to be a party animal from 17 to maybe 22, but really I only got into it because I was lonely as a teen but got bored of it towards the end. After Uni I found it hard to find meaning in my life and a social circle, I'm more comfortable on my own and could never go back to that sort of hectic, indiscriminate socialising of old.

It's good to see some love for the older men BTW, although I'm not anywhere near my 50,s lol.
Original post by DopeSk1llz
TL DR


That's not 'cool' anymore.
Reply 12
I think it's quite common to be a bit lonely once you finish school/uni, especially if you haven't had a boyfriend during that time, for quiet types that's the only reason to go out, really. You have basically gone through the "befuddled graduate" phase without ever actually going to uni which kind of sucks. Still if you are at uni it is a great equaliser, you may be 27 but you may as well imagine you're 18-21, especially if it will fit with your self-image. I would have moved out for uni, it really is a great character-builder to do that. I think if you rent next year (still at uni presumably) this would be a fantastic move for you.

I don't know why girls are quite so obsessed with defining themselves according to men, if you like the older man that doesn't bespeak anything deep about you, it's very common and you are at the age where you are probably entitled to be looking for stability.
(edited 11 years ago)

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