lol its pritty simple man, either you want her back or you dont... if you just wanna bang then bang her and move on...otherwise your just mentally fckin yourself up lol

Reply 28

alexs2602

Original post by Steptoe

We broke up cos she didn't want to settle down. I've got a kid and got responsibilities. She lives in another city and the distance and circumstances caused the break up. We stayed friends. Went to a gig with each other last night that we sorted before the break up.

Had a drink, flirted, she ended back at mine. I'm not over her yet and she's still in the other room asleep.

****.

Sorry to tell you but I wouldn't do it in this situation. This could go bad for you and her.

Reply 29

Steptoe

Original post by smithyinthehouse

lol its pritty simple man, either you want her back or you dont... if you just wanna bang then bang her and move on...otherwise your just mentally fckin yourself up lol

I already have done it! And I do want her back. I'm hoping it'll make her feel the same

Reply 30

Steptoe

Original post by alexs2602

Sorry to tell you but I wouldn't do it in this situation. This could go bad for you and her.

I already have! In what way could it go bad? Surely it's as much chance as going good?

Reply 31

EllenB

I'm in the same situation as her at the minute! Something that was/is very over but I'm somehow just not quite willing to utterly let go of.. I don't believe for a second that she doesn't feel anything towards you - knowing the situation (and knowing you still have feelings for her - if she does?) if she'd just wanted sex for the sake of it, unless she's an automaton with no emotional cognition at all, she certainly wouldn't have picked you to do it with!
This doesn't necessarily mean that you should develop any sort of hope - I think she's probably very unsure of what to do/what she wants and it could just as easily come to nothing as come to you two getting back together - hard to acknowledge and face but honest.
I think the best thing you can do is be strong, be lovely to be with (maybe a little like old times) but NOT to mention getting back together/start discussing 'what this means' etc - if she's confused she'll need time to figure it out and will def come to you when she's ready and wants to talk about it. For today, be the man she loved for so long, with no pressure on her and no expectation.
I feel for you!
El

Reply 32

ViceVersa

Sex with an ex is usually a bad idea because:

- You're not giving yourself a chance to find anybody new. You've indirectly become sort of unavailable, or at least not completely open to meeting anyone new, or if you do meet anybody new then you're less likely to want to spend time getting to know them. This means you're less likely to find the next partner you potentially could be happy with.

- You can't move on and you'll find it extra difficult to get over them. Sex is an intimate thing and there's a good chance you'll be attacked at your most vulnerable. Feelings of attachment might resurface and you could find yourself acting and being certain way. Sometimes it just takes a moment of reflection for you to realise you're in a place you swore to yourself you were past and then you've now realised you're no longer "progressing".

- You might not actually enjoy the sex with him/her, even though you thought you would because you used to have a good sexual relationship with him/her. You've now sort of ruined those memories and experiences you once romanticised.

- If you wanted to become friends with him/her in the future/one day, then sex with them now could complicate that or ruin the chances of it happening.

So it's important to bear all this in mind when deciding to go into sex with your ex or not.

Reply 33

Blues Guitarist

Bang her

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 34

Steptoe

Some good advice guys thanks.

Girls don't just have sex without some feeling do they? It's more of an emotional thing for a girl than a bloke isn't it? So surely she must be hoping for something to come from it?

Reply 35

alexs2602

Original post by Steptoe

I already have! In what way could it go bad? Surely it's as much chance as going good?

I'm just saying if you have feelings for her and she doesn't want to settle down and share your responsibilities then your situations seem incompatible. Unless she changes her mind or you can somehow ignore your feelings I can't see it going well. Ignoring your feelings is difficult.

Reply 36

flyylikejetz

Original post by Nick1sHere

It just is

Not unless you are both over each other

Reply 37

ViceVersa

Original post by Steptoe

She might not necessarily be hoping for something to come from it per se, I mean there are a multitude of other reasons she might want to go into it. It could be though that she won't realise how she feels and what she wants until some time into this 'sex with ex' thing.

In answer to your first question, speaking from a girls perspective it can hurts us a lot, but obviously it might be different in this case. And AFAIK most women can't have sex without feeling something.

The fact is that everyone wants to feel and be loved and with an ex that act normally give false hope.

Reply 38

Lucia.

Original post by Steptoe

Girls don't just have sex without some feeling do they? It's more of an emotional thing for a girl than a bloke isn't it? So surely she must be hoping for something to come from it?