I'm worried about making friends at university

I'm starting at Bristol uni this October. I'm looking forward, but the whole "making friends" thing really worries me. At the moment, I have a group of best mates who I'm so close to - we've been friends since we were nine years old. I'm not convinced that I'm going to be able to create friendships at uni that match up to the ones I have at the moment.

When I went on the Open Day, everyone else seemed to know each other, and I'm worried that's what it'll be like when I get there. I don't know anybody at all going there apart from me, and it's miles away from where I live at the moment.

I'm really scared :frown:

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Reply 1

Snowfall

Don't worry - a lot of people will be in the same position as you. Just make sure you make the effort to go and introduce yourself to your flatmates, (and other people in the same building) when you first get there and make the effort to talk to as many people as possible in the first few weeks. Trick is to say hi to everyone you come across as you're unloading your stuff, and keep your door open whilst unpacking so people can see you're approachable! That's is what I did. Ended up meeting and becoming friends with people from first-floor flat, 2nd floor flat, and mine in the first week.

After that, friendships will form and you can decided who you're going to get on with most, etc. I was the only one from from my school and the area that I knew of that went to my uni, but I made friends pretty easily. The friendships you form might not live up to the ones you have now, but they will be different and you never know - like they say, you might find your friends for life at uni! Just look forward to the whole experience. You'll be surrounded by people in exactly the same situation so don't worry. Perhaps you can look on the university website to see if they've got a forum or something that you can meet people in before getting there so at least you'll kind of know someone! good luck :smile:

Reply 2

Sprog

Hey hun. I can asure you right now that nearly everyone there will be in the same boat. Just a quick question. Are you staying in halls in your first year? x

Yep.

First.... relax.

We all have our worries about making friends at Uni. I myself went to a Univeristy 200 odd miles from home, and didnt know a soul in Stafford.

Literally within 3-4 hours of moving in, me and my new flat mates were already out, having a drink, making complete fools out of ourselves.. and i felt like i'd known them for years.

Some people it takes a little longer, but by the end of the first week, you WILL have made some good mates... jsut remember, everyone is in the same boat... be friendly, introduce yourself to everyone.

Also you can join a society. Since joining the Rugby team, i've made some of the best friends i've ever had.

just dont worry... be happy :smile:

Reply 5

Navajo

Wow, how's that for TSR advice!

Honestly don't worry, I went through exactly the same thing when I started Uni.

It's really really nerve wracking starting Uni, but honestly you will love it! Are you living in halls? If so that's a lot better because you will make so many freinds that you'll love just as much buy a couple of weeks into it.

Only thing I would say is, don't hold back from making freinds in Uni because you have freinds at home get stuck in make freinds because they will help you through Uni life, and remember no-one knows you at Uni make your life what you want, a new image if you want just throw yourself into it!

No-one knows each other buy the way, there's thousands of people there, you'll love it, honestly! :smile:

Reply 6

Sprog

ok.
1 - leave your bedroom door open. This way you seem approachable
2 - stick a not to the wall next to your door (i did this) with your name on it and what you are studying. Its a good conversation starter
3 - Take a bottle of wine with you. After everyone was finished unpacking I invited some people to my room to celebrate our first day there!

ok, this sounds like a step by step guide to making friends! What im trying to say is make yourself as approachable as possible. Everyone there is going to be feeling really nervous.

Reply 7

Eru Lawliet

agree. start making frenz with the guy/gal from the next door. Just go there, knock on the door, shake hands and start chatting!!!

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Thanks a lot for the advice, guys.

I'd definitely say I was a sociable person and usually quite good at making friends, but I can see myself clamming up and feeling totally overwhelmed when I'm surrounded by a bunch of strangers in an unfamiliar environment.

Reply 9

Ferrus

Well I didn't, c'est la vie.

Reply 10

Sprog

you'll find it somes naturally when you get there. Like I said earlier, everyone is in a similar position. Trust me, in a few weeks you'll all be laughing at how nervous you all were on your first day.

Reply 11

Snowfall

Don't worry - the first few days especially, you'll have a lot to talk about!! What course, where people are from, about their family, why they picked the uni, gap years, what they wanna do after uni....etc etc. Lots to talk about!

Reply 12

Eru Lawliet

and before you know it you will be establishing friendship that will last you for the rest of your life!

Reply 13

Sprog

Talking about uni makes me want to go back! I miss my days of living in halls!

Reply 14

KellsEnder

Sprog

3 - Take a bottle of wine with you. After everyone was finished unpacking I invited some people to my room to celebrate our first day there!

That sounds like a good idea (although I'll be taking bitter, not wine), nothing like a drink to break the ice!

Reply 15

Apricot Fairy

I'm at Bristol, and basically I don't think you have anything to worry about! I didn't know a single person going to Bristol either, and I think that's true of a lot of people. But here's a few tips:

* Apply for a hall rather than a student house. The hall bars are great for meeting new people. But don't panic if you do end up in a student house; you'll just have to make more of an effort.

* Don't stick to the first people you meet too much. This was my mistake. In the beginning I spent a little bit too much time with my flatmates and then I realised a few weeks in that we didn't actually have that much in common. The first few weeks will be very tiring, but make the effort to get out of your room and talk to as many people as possible. Don't stick to people in your flat or on your corridor. Talk to everyone.

* Talk to people on your course. This is one of the easiest ways to make friends. Just strike up a conversation with the person next to you, and after you've been chatting for a bit, ask them if they fancy going for a coffee. Try to do this with lots of people on your course, and make sure you introduce everyone you meet to each other. Sooner or later you'll build up a great network of course friends. This is important, because they're definitely people you'll be spending time with throughout your three years, and not just in your first year when you're in hall.

* Join a society. For the best social life, join a sports team or a music ensemble. Even though I have loads of friends on my course and in hall, the people I'm living with next year are people I know through the Symphony Orchestra.

* Get to know people who post in the Bristol subforum on TSR. Get people's MSN addresses and talk to them lots before you go. It might sound crazy, but I'm good friends with a lot of people at uni I met on TSR. I even arrived on my first day to find that I was sharing a flat with someone from TSR, and that another girl who I'd been talking to a lot was in the flat directly above me. You may not stay good friends with people you talk to on MSN, but it definitely makes it easier when you first get there, as you have a point of contact with someone.

Reply 16

showdown_counts

I am also in the same boat. I dont know anybody at Bristol. Donno what am I gonna do....... :confused:

Reply 17

Apricot Fairy

Not knowing anybody is good. Just check out the threads about people who are worried about going to university with someone they already know. Sticking to people you already know can restrict your social life.

Reply 18

hapa_girl

Anonymous

Yeah I was worried about the same thing, but it turns out okay cause everybodys exactly the same, I promise.
The first 3 months of uni, everybody is going to be super-friendly and chatty, only cause they're in the same boat as YOU and desperate to make friends. So just get in there and chat to as many people as poss, make friends in different places - your halls, your course and in any societies.

You most probably won't find a group of friends that measure up to your best mates from home, most people don't, I didn't. But you'll find some alright friends to spend time with at uni. And hopefully you'll be lucky, and be blessed with some decent flatmates in your first year. I was. Thank God for that.

Reply 19

Anonymous #2

I've been at uni for 2 years (almost) and i've made literally 2 close friends and there are a few other people I chat to. But then I've always been rubbish at making friends. I'm sure you'll be ok, everyone else seems to have lots of friends (bitter? me? never!). I was in a student house, I am shy and quiet, hadn't had much experience socially, had a boyfriend (from home) in the same city as me but at the other uni in the city and didn't make enough effort really, no suprise that I have so few friends. So, basically my advice to you is be friendly, talk to lots of people, smile and don't end up in a student house, I'm sure you'll be ok!