The Student Room Group

What's wrong with me?

I don't really know how to put this into words... but I'll try my best to make it clear enough!

There was this guy I liked and liked me back about a year ago, and now I've met someone new who I like and likes me back as well. Even though these two times I liked them and viceversa, I've never been in a relationship and I swear I've no idea why. These two guys wanted a serious relationship and hell, I wanted too because, well, that's usually what you want when you like someone, right? but then I always start having doubts, not doubts about them but about me. Why do I suddenly feel uneasy? I don't really know how to express the way I feel like... it's not that I am afraid of getting hurt (I've seen many threads about that, so I just want to clarify), I just suddenly... feel uncomfortable, even though I still like them, a lot.

I also want to point out that I didn't go further than kissing with them because the time I go further I want it to be with my boyfriend, so is not something about wanting to "be free" and being able to have one night stands with random guys and things like that, I'm actually a romantic and I take sex and relationships seriously.

I really, really want to get rid of this unconfortable/uneasy feeling when I think about having a relationship, because back then I liked the guy and right now I like this guy very much as well, but I just feel... well, the way I feel, and is driving me mad! I don't want to say "yes" feeling like this and then say "no" a few days later, you know, it's not fair for him and I don't want to say yes just to try, I feel that would be something like "playing" with him, and as I said, is not good or fair.

Do you know what the heck is wrong with me or have you ever felt this way? :frown:
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
I don't really know how to put this into words... but I'll try my best to make it clear enough!

There was this guy I liked and liked me back about a year ago, and now I've met someone new who I like and likes me back as well. Even though these two times I liked them and viceversa, I've never been in a relationship and I swear I've no idea why. These two guys wanted a serious relationship and hell, I wanted too because, well, that's usually what you want when you like someone, right? but then I always start having doubts, not doubts about them but about me. Why do I suddenly feel uneasy? I don't really know how to express the way I feel like... it's not that I am afraid of getting hurt (I've seen many threads about that, so I just want to clarify), I just suddenly... feel uncomfortable, even though I still like them, a lot.

I also want to point out that I didn't go further than kissing with them because the time I go further I want it to be with my boyfriend, so is not something about wanting to "be free" and being able to have one night stands with random guys and things like that, I'm actually a romantic and I take sex and relationships seriously.

I really, really want to get rid of this unconfortable/uneasy feeling when I think about having a relationship, because back then I liked the guy and right now I like this guy very much as well, but I just feel... well, the way I feel, and is driving me mad! I don't want to say "yes" feeling like this and then say "no" a few days later, you know, it's not fair for him and I don't want to say yes just to try, I feel that would be something like "playing" with him, and as I said, is not good or fair.

Do you know what the heck is wrong with me or have you ever felt this way? :frown:


I was EXACTLY the same way when I was 16, i think for me I was scared of it going wrong etc. I finally pushed myself into starting a relationship and although I was uncomfortable at first it got easier over time. Two years on and i'm still with the same guy and Im so happy I forced myself into carrying on with it, it was the best decision ive ever made!!!! So be strong and force yourself to go out with the guy you like and I promise you in a few months you will wonder what you were worrying about :biggrin: Good luck!
Reply 2
go to the doctor you might be pregnant.
Reply 3
Original post by lucystar4
I was EXACTLY the same way when I was 16, i think for me I was scared of it going wrong etc. I finally pushed myself into starting a relationship and although I was uncomfortable at first it got easier over time. Two years on and i'm still with the same guy and Im so happy I forced myself into carrying on with it, it was the best decision ive ever made!!!! So be strong and force yourself to go out with the guy you like and I promise you in a few months you will wonder what you were worrying about :biggrin: Good luck!


Thank you Lucystar! =) I'll see how it goes!
Reply 4
Are you introverted by nature?
Reply 5
Original post by 2ndClass
Are you introverted by nature?


Not at all. I am very outgoing, love making new friends and am I often told that I speak a lot, so is not something shyness related :s-smilie:
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Not at all. I am very outgoing, love making new friends and am I often told that I speak a lot, so is not something shyness related :s-smilie:


Oh OK, because I have the exact same problem as you. I'd like a girl, girl is interested too but I start to get cold feet. It's very hard to put my finger on what the problem is exactly, because it's not "commitment issues". I just don't like the added "responsibility" perhaps to keep someone happy/interested. I like my independence but at the same time, I want to be with someone :s-smilie:
Reply 7
Original post by 2ndClass
Oh OK, because I have the exact same problem as you. I'd like a girl, girl is interested too but I start to get cold feet. It's very hard to put my finger on what the problem is exactly, because it's not "commitment issues". I just don't like the added "responsibility" perhaps to keep someone happy/interested. I like my independence but at the same time, I want to be with someone :s-smilie:


Just like you, I don't really know where to put my finger on what the problem is! I might admit that I love my independence and that I still want to be with someone I like. Ugh, everything is just so complicated!

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