Thank-you gift for research supervisor

I have just completed my Master's degree last week. So I decided to get my supervisor at thank you gift for his time and effort in helping me this past year. I bought him a small box of Lindt chocolates, and planned to give it to him this morning.

However, when I pulled it out of my bag and attempted to give it to him, he told me that he could not accept it. He simply said that "it was part of his job to supervise research students, and he cannot receive any sort of payment or gift in return from me".

I was obviously shocked that he rejected my gift. I have already finished my Master's, so he is no longer supervising me. Therefore, it is not a bribe. It was a thank you gift, that is given at the end of my studies.

What do you all think? Was I wrong? :confused:

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Reply 1

Cephalus

Fortunately, I can accept it on his behalf if you like. What is it?

Edit: I like chocolate :teehee:

Honestly just keep it for yourself

Reply 2

alexmagpie

Keep the chocolates and send him a card expressing your gratitude instead. It may be a personal modesty thing, or it might be a departmental regulation (I know it sounds silly but I know it's in my contract that I'm not allowed to accept any kind of gift.

Reply 3

Octohedral

Sounds weird - I gave all my teachers at school a present when I left. You were totally right, and I hope he wasn't too ungrateful - if I was him I would have accepted it and given it away rather than make the student feel awkward.

It's very possible it's some sort of departmental regulation though. You could always give him a card :smile:

Reply 4

Politics Student

Original post by alexmagpie

Makes sense.

Also remember they still may be marking the dissertation and finalising the classification.

Reply 5

Klix88

Given the problem with gifts, I think a card might be more appropriate as well. Even a small gesture like that with a short message of thanks, can be very much appreciated. When I gave my undergrad dissertation supervisor a "Thank You" card on hand-in day, he actually got a bit damp-eyed!

Plus you get to eat the chocs yourself - wins all round :smile:

Reply 6

Vanbrugh

When I was doing my gift-rounds I either left the present with a card on their desk or posted it to them so they could not refuse!

This was unintentional though - I couldn't find out where any of my lecturers had gone when I was trying to get them my gifts.

Reply 7

bhurruts

The same thing happened to myself and a friend. We decided to buy our lecturer a box of chocolates to say thank you for squeezing us into a second practical (as we missed the first one... on purpose). We needed to do it to write a report otherwise we would have gotten a 0. After begging, he managed to find us places. We bought him chocolates afterwards and he said he couldn't accept it because it was like "bribery", and something about the rules... was so embarrassing! So we ate it ourselves! I too thought it was gna be like school... :-/

Reply 8

evantej

Original post by mml

He is there to do a job, and not only that, you are paying him directly to do the job through tuition fees. Your gift was unnecessary on every level, and probably made him feel awkward.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 9

Ham22

He's just trying to protect himself. He doesn't want to be accused of taking payment, bribes or having weird frowned upon relationships with students. Someone might think those chocolates are payment for sex.

Reply 10

mml

It probably does say in his contract that he is not allowed to accept gifts from students, but I thought that only really applies for cases of bribery? Since he's not involved in any more assessment/marking for my degree, my gift is not a bribe.

Most of the other research students in my department have given thank you gifts to their supervisors at the end of their degree, and the supervisors did accept them. So I never imagined that I might be doing something wrong.

Maybe my supervisor just feels uncomfortable accepting gifts for doing something that is part of his job. If this is the case, he should have just taken it instead of embarrassing me :frown:

Reply 11

Arekkusu

The regulation is sensible but even if someone was enough of a troll to challenge him on it, nobody would realistically get done for corruption when the supposed bribe is a practically unsaleable perishable item that costs about a fiver.

Reply 12

flying plum

Original post by evantej

He is there to do a job, and not only that, you are paying him directly to do the job through tuition fees. Your gift was unnecessary on every level, and probably made him feel awkward.

I think this depends on your relationship with your supervisor. My MA supe went over and above his call of duty, and we had a pretty good relationship. I didn't buy him a present, but I did get him a card when I got my marks back. A card is a bit different though, to a present, maybe...

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 13

evantej

Original post by flying plum

I think a lot of people's 'appreciation' is related to our very low expectations of what most academic staff actually deliver on a day-to-day basis so I think buying presents etc. is just completely over the top. There is no reason why staff cannot go above the call of duty the most of time given what their job actually entails and who they have to deal with.

Maybe I am just a Scrooge... :tongue:

Reply 14

username396452

Why were there so many negs on the posters??? Is it cultural?
Edit: Apparently there is an anti-gift mafia on TSR

Anyhow, it may just be a "values" preference from your supervisor. I would not be offended nor take it personally. He probably would not accept a gift from his other students. Try not to see it as an embarrassment or that the event was a negative one. As others said, it could be their regulations or how he would like to interpret them. He has as much right to turn down the gift as you had of offering it. He may not even be aware that it hurt/embarrased you. Try to brush it off.

I have given gifts to tutors/supervisors before, all accepted. One breathed a sigh of relief that my timing made it after the exam board. Another referred to a gift given from another supervisee (rrrrr) and jokingly hinted at me on what to do next. I know lindt chocolates aren't exactly extravagant, but one gift that was NEVER turned down was: gift vouchers for Starbucks Coffee--10 quid each. Caffeine more often than not is like crack, and expensive over-priced (but delicious!) that you don't have to pay for = a gift from the angels.

Note: I also included a card/letter detailing my appreciation, and gave it to them either after exams are done/ I finished my degree. They are also the same tutors/supervisors that wrote my references; but gifts were given after the references were sent. I too drop it off in their pigeonholes or give it to their secretaries.....maybe this effects if they're received or not?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 15

nonswimmer

I'm in the card/letter camp personally. In the teaching that I've done, I've never received any gifts, and while I'd happily eat chocolates or drink wine, what really really means something are the nice grateful emails from students (which are incredibly rare compared to emails asking for things / complaining about things).

So my plan, once all assessment is out of the way, is to write the nicest kindest most heartfelt letter I can to tell my supervisors how much their support meant to me.

This is also convenient because they're both quite aloof and I wouldn't have the foggiest idea what to get them as gifts.

I guess the reverse conundrum is what to do if you hated them and passed despite their advice... to which I can only think of a song that goes "f*ck you right back, your supervision meetings were whack ... and I faked all of my epiphanies! every single one!"

Reply 16

kka25

Original post by evantej

He is there to do a job, and not only that, you are paying him directly to do the job through tuition fees. Your gift was unnecessary on every level, and probably made him feel awkward.

Original post by evantej

I agree with you (not on the Scrooge part lol).

With the amount of money; time; energy; emotions, etc University students, especially the PG students are investing, your supervisors are the ones who should be giving the students a gift for the completion of the project, which directly, the supervisors will benefit.

Besides, it's your work that you're doing; not them. When you work in a company, you don't give your boss a box of chocolate after you finish your job do you?

I get where the OP's coming from; I was like that as well before; giving small gifts for appreciations. But then I realized that such a thing is really unnecessary.

But, hey, it's up to you really. You decide what's best.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 17

Klix88

When you work in a company, you don't give your boss a box of chocolate after you finish your job do you?

No, but I do make sure that my resignation letter praises all of my colleagues and management, and thanks them for their help and support over the years. The boss might be involved in writing my reference. Also, you never know when you might be meeting them again in a job interview.

It always pays to leave any situation like that on a positive note, even if you feel that the object of your thanks hasn't really done that much for you or has just done their job. In any case, no lecturer actually *has* to supervise you (as I found out to my cost earlier this year). Taking that for granted isn't something I'll be doing again. Writing a brief note in a card or sending a three line email takes very little effort on your part and potentially reaps significant rewards further down the road.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 18

kka25

Original post by Klix88

What you posted has nothing to do with what I say; and if you want to respond to someone, quote them --properly--.

The second paragraph is wrong as well. Lecturer != supervisor.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 19

username474976

Oh yeah, I bet he would have lost all credibility as a lecturer if he accepted a few chocolates, lost his job, then his wife, picked up a Zolpidem addiction and committed suicide.

This thread just sums up the British personality: people need to relax.