Would you cut contact?

If you were rejected by a friend that you've fancied like hell for a while, would you break ties with them or put on a brave face and continue hanging out with them?

I'm asking because I was recently in that situation, I ended up cutting all contact with the girl as I felt I wouldn't be able to get over her if I had to constantly see her and pretend to be happy with being just friends.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

bump

Reply 2

InnerTemple

20

Depends on the situation - such as whether cutting them out would ruin my relationship with other (mutual) friends.

It's a ****ty situation to be in though.

Reply 3

ViceVersa

3

Original post by Anonymous

If you were rejected by a friend that you've fancied like hell for a while, would you break ties with them or put on a brave face and continue hanging out with them?

It would depend on how much I liked them, how close we were and how often we hung out, if we were in the same social circle. :smile:

I'm asking because I was recently in that situation, I ended up cutting all contact with the girl as I felt I wouldn't be able to get over her if I had to constantly see her and pretend to be happy with being just friends.

I think that's a decent reason to cut contact.

It's a difficult thing, because you obviously like her and feel like you won't be able to stay friends with her because of how strong your feelings are, but I know she'll also miss you a lot and would be really sad you cut off contact with her. Have you explained to her that it is the only way you're going to be able to move on and get over her? And that when you do there's a chance you two could become friends again? Because cutting off with no explanation is only going to make her feel crappy. Make sure she knows that you don't want to lose her forever from your life, and that you're not doing this because of something she has done wrong.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Luckily we have no mutual friends.

I'm not sure if I want to or if I could ever be friends with her again. even though I greatly enjoy her company. She ticks so many boxes for me that I can't imagine myself ever being fully content with simply being friends with her, especially if she starts a relationship with someone else.

Reply 5

Scorpion89

Original post by Anonymous

Luckily we have no mutual friends.

I'm not sure if I want to or if I could ever be friends with her again. even though I greatly enjoy her company. She ticks so many boxes for me that I can't imagine myself ever being fully content with simply being friends with her, especially if she starts a relationship with someone else.

Yeah mate, that will be gut wrenching for you. I know it's hard, but if I was you, I'd have to cut contact.

Reply 6

Eboracum

18

Cut contact, absolute no brainer. Being in the friendzone is a massive damage to confidence. You don't want her head on your shoulder crying about some other punk she is dating, you want her legs on your shoulder. It will be very tough when she gets a boyfriend, end it now, be ruthless. Good man.

Reply 7

Mockery

17

I'd cut contact with my emotional feelings for them yes, but not with that particular individual.

Reply 8

Scorpion89

Original post by Eboracum

Cut contact, absolute no brainer. Being in the friendzone is a massive damage to confidence. You don't want her head on your shoulder crying about some other punk she is dating, you want her legs on your shoulder. It will be very tough when she gets a boyfriend, end it now, be ruthless. Good man.

We seem to be on the same page old bean. I like you.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

I went out with my best friend for a while and then she dumped me. But i am just trying to be friends, even though it sucks, i figured cutting her out of my life would end up dividing my group of friends.

Reply 10

InnerTemple

20

Original post by Mockery

I'd cut contact with my emotional feelings for them yes, but not with that particular individual.

How would you manage that?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

We have already cut each other out, I'm mostly looking for similar experiences here :smile:

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Original post by Mockery

I'd cut contact with my emotional feelings for them yes, but not with that particular individual.

*******s advice, sorry mate. I posted a similar thread the other day asking the exact same question. How do you do it though, do you explain to her, or just "vannish" from her life, without warning?

Reply 13

ThatGuyPsy

Yes. It will do you a world of good.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

*******s advice, sorry mate. I posted a similar thread the other day asking the exact same question. How do you do it though, do you explain to her, or just "vannish" from her life, without warning?

In my case I simply vanished after telling her and being shot down. I suppose she understood it since she hasn't contacted me since. Or maybe she simply doesn't care/thinks I'm a dick for just disappearing, it doesn't really matter anyway.

Reply 15

Anonymous #4

Bump

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(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 16

Mockery

17

Original post by InnerTemple

How would you manage that?

Original post by Anonymous

*******s advice, sorry mate. I posted a similar thread the other day asking the exact same question. How do you do it though, do you explain to her, or just "vannish" from her life, without warning?

I just seem to have an ability at removing or ignoring most of my emotional feelings when they are not necessary and even detrimental.

I have to agree it would be appauling advice for the majority of the population, but then again I wasn't giving advice, just stating how I'd deal with the situation.

Would you cut contact?

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