'Friend' steals my guys

I have been kind of forced into friendship with this girl. She's nice, but extremely selfish, bossy & inconsiderate, and constantly puts her own needs above everyone elses. I was fine with just keeping her at a distance up until now when she has decided to come to the same uni as me next year. The problem is, she flirts with every guy constantly, and seems to be more attracted to guys that are off-limits, (i.e guys that me & my friends like) We have tried talking to her about it, but she refuses to listen, and just tries to get with them anyway. She is very attractive, so obviously the guys like her, and it just means that me & my friends have to compete with her to get the guys we want. Last night I saw a guy I have been really into for a long while now, and when she saw us talking she came up and started flirting with him too. It bugged me because its hard enough for me to talk to people I like without having to worry about her trying to sabotage my efforts. I don't know what to do about her, whether to confront her again or what to do...

Reply 1

username47781

20

How can you be forced into being friends with her, how is she nice and selfish its not possible she can't be nice if shes selfish and bossy and flirts like mad with any guy in sight, is it even worth confronting her, i suggest cut all ties with this girl she is bad news.

^

That.

I understand you , I know a girl who is similar - apart that she isn't pretty, hehehe, but it makes no difference. she gets all the guys, especially the ones i want.
I didn't want to do anything about it really, i mean, we were in the same group of friends, but now i've just distanced myself from her and am working on finding a new group of friends. hard at first, but things are working out a lot better for me now.

just try and ignore her when she comes to your uni next year. find your own group of friends. if she's anything like this girl I know, she'll feel silly always having to text you and ask you what you and your group are doing. Because being the bossy one she will want people to go and do the things she wants to do. just meet new people and suggest you go places and don't let her drag you in by suggesting good parties to go to ect.

Reply 4

bedbug

14

I wouldn't worry about her at uni, there's going to be so many people there and the chances of you ending up in the same flat are very unlikely. Just try and find your own group of friends and really distance yourself. It may be a pain but I'm sure you can cope with her for a few months until you can make your brand new group of friends at uni.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

THANK YOU! great advice :smile:

I don't know how she does it to be honest (getting all the guys) but its really irritating!! She has literally about six guys on the go atm, plus she wants my one! Some people...

And she is nice but bossy, cos shes funny n stuff which makes her nice... but then really bossy.

Reply 6

username47781

20

Anonymous

THANK YOU! great advice :smile:

I don't know how she does it to be honest (getting all the guys) but its really irritating!! She has literally about six guys on the go atm, plus she wants my one! Some people...

And she is nice but bossy, cos shes funny n stuff which makes her nice... but then really bossy.

Oh my god 6 on the go, well im afraid for her what goes around will come around, she'll be the one either pregnant or with an STI, she's a very silly girl, maybe she has some insecurities, she certainly loves the attention.

I would still say even though she's funny and stuff does not make her a nice person because of her being bossy and having so many guys at once.

Reply 7

Jim-ie

14

First of all, you can point her in my direction (joke..)

But right, universities are big places, thats a lot of guys, let her have her fun there and she'll probably find her own group of mates.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

lol you want a bossy, inconsiderate, selfish girl?

Reply 9

khil

15

Being in the same uni means nothing. I have a school friend in the same uni and I have not seen her a single time since Sep 25th, when we first got there. Two of my uni friends haven't seen their school friends from the same uni at all either. Likelihood is, you probably won't see that girl at all unless you're in the same hall or something.

Well, if a guy is interested in you, he's interested in you. Another girl flirting is not gonna make a difference. And if he can be distracted and end up liking the flirting girl instead of you, then well, that guy probably didn't like you enough in the first place, hence what's the point in chasing after someone who doesn't want you? I'm friends with a lovely girl who's so vibrant that she got every guy's attention (all our friends are guys lol) - she isn't flirty, she's just very vibrant. I thought no one would ever notice me with her around lol. Then we respectively got our own boyfriends, both from the same circle lol :biggrin:

So you see, if a guy notices you, he notices you. Having a lively girl beside you isn't gonna make a difference. At least it really shouldn't.

Reply 10

thegreatstupendo

2

Only one solution - a serious bitch-slapping!

Reply 11

nuclear_pavlova

2

I could be completely wrong about this...but she sounds like she's throwing herself at guys...?? Am I right or not? If she is, its natural for guys to flirt back but I guess in Uni the decent ones realise this and prefer more mysterious and quiter girls...(my mother told me that and I dont know whether she's right and I dont know why Im bringing her advice into this!) but that can change amongst different guys I guess....

Just go and have fun! You'll meet go many other people that you might not even see each other as much as you do now and meet a load of other guys who are better suited to you...

Dont let it get you down. Just be yourself and you'll get the guy!

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

yeah she kind of does throw herself at guys. i hope shes not in my hall!! im really scared that she will be. that would be absolute hell.... thanx so much guys; you've really helped me!!!

Reply 13

crazy4dancin

I reckon she's a really insecure person, she can't possibly fancy all these guys and craves their attention to make herself feel better. If I were you I'd either have a chat about your concerns or just stop your friendship with her. If you do continue to be her friend then just remember that a guy with half a brain wouldn't be interested in a girl who flirts with anything that moves and is bossy and selfish regardless of how beautiful she may bexx

'Friend' steals my guys

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