"Was this sexual abuse?" number two.

I was just reading the thread entitled, "Was this (sexual) abuse?" and it reminded me of something that happened when I was younger.

I was five or six years old, and my older brother's friend (who was six years older than me) used to make me kiss him when no one was watching - properly kiss him, with tongues. Sometimes when him and my brother were playing video games, he'd come into my room, shut the door, and lie on top of me. I don't recall trying to push him off, but one time he took it further. I remember he pulled my pants down, got his penis out and said, "This is what people do to have babies," and then touched my vagina with his penis. I pushed him away immediately, even though I didn't know what was happening, and so he left it.

He didn't actually force me into having sex with him, so I don't think it's rape. But I was five years old for God's sake, and I know that what he was doing was wrong. It makes me feel sick now when I look back at it.

I don't want to do anything about it, though, it's in the past.

Reply 1

stainedglass

What the boy did was wrong, but it's not rape. He would have been 11 right? He could have just been experimenting due to new sexual thoughts.

If it's still worrying you perhaps you should talk to someone, like your parents? Or friends?

Reply 2

username47781

I just hope this isn't some joke, but yeah thats a bit worrying if an 11 year old is doing that i just hope he's changed since then.

Reply 3

Lush Law

There has to be actual penetration for it to be rape. He touched you in a way that was sexual, so it's sexual assault. The fact that you didn't push him off is irrelevant, submission does not [by law anyway] always constitute consent.

Reply 4

bluedreamer

falling_stars

What the boy did was wrong, but it's not rape. He would have been 11 right? He could have just been experimenting due to new sexual thoughts.

Urrr experimenting, no. that’s not experimenting. Any mentally healthy person would know not to do that.

Reply 5

Quita

This is a difficult one for various reasons... he was only 11 and when pushed away he stopped. If he'd have been older it would be considered attempted rape rather than abuse. However the snogging would constitute as abuse.
He was 11 so he should have known better and the fact he used a 5 year old girl is worrying. He was in a position of power so therefore I would say yes it is abuse. Just because he may have been experimenting with his sexuality and may not have known it was wrong doesnt mean it isnt abuse.

Reply 6

bluedreamer

A child can not be old enough to be sexual yet not old enough to understand the concept of morals, or more accurately, what’s normal.

Maybe some people forgot what 11 year olds are like. That’s year 6. They’re not stupid mindless drooling children that need help dressing and going to the bathroom. They’re very bright, and often ahead of their age. I highly doubt this was an innocent accident, and he was only curious. I have younger siblings, and one of them is in year 6. This would never happen.

Reply 7

username54863

I would say its definately unacceptable behavior but not sexual abuse because of the age. I agree 11 year olds are cleverer than you think though, my lil sis is only 10 n shes a genius, god save us from the little people!

Reply 8

Lofty

I must say i am shocked by the amoutn of people that have had this kind of thing. I have only been gere a few weeks and 2 or 3 people have mentioned it, god knows how many people are keeping quiet...

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Plenty.. i was sexually abused by my father and now that I am 18 I am now only just coming to terms with it and at the moment am looking for a shrink so I can just deal with the s***.

Reply 10

Lofty

Yeah, i can honestly say i never realised that this kind of thing actually happened to the extent it does! Real shame, because they probably dont realise (or think) what kind of effect this will have on someones life, physically and emotionally. Makes me sick...

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

yeah well it took ages for me to let my dad know how much it screwed me up and i still dont think he understands. You think you are on your own but there are a lot of people out there.

Reply 12

shyr_15

it's not rape because as they say ther'e no penetration. but there is sexual abuse since he took advantage of you. though he is just 11, age is not an excuse for such a behavior. at that age he already knows what is morally wrong and right.

don't dwell on the past. tell somebody about it and unburden the awful feeling trapped inside you...that way, you'll be able to gradually let go of that bad childhood experience

Reply 13

littlemissalex

thats actually quite sick for an 11 year-old even though i suppose its normal for them to want to experiment. but the fact that he'd close the door meant that he knew it was wrong. if he thought it was normal and natural, he might've done it in public (ie people looking at him).
hope you're ok though and not traumatised by it.. x