My mother wants to talk every day, I get annoyed :\

So I'm in my second year at uni abroad. I don't have a real 'connection' with my parents and I don't have much to talk with them about or share so talking to them is more of an obligation to me.
My mum wants to talk every single day, if I'm not on facebook until about 7 she starts phoning me, texting me, etc until I go on facebook.
The thing is when I do go on facebook, we don't talk about anything useful. I'd say something about me and she won't show any interest in it, usually just keep silent. She'd ask me how my course was going, what I've had for dinner, what I was planning to do later and that's pretty much it. I'll ask her something and she'll just reply with a single sentence. I don't get why she keeps wanting to me to call her every day giving that we can't hold a proper conversation. I truly believe that if we talked every other day or once in 3 days our conversations would be a lot better!
Until 2 days ago I hadn't spoken to my dad in WEEKS and really wanted to hear from him so asked my mum to call him on the computer and me and him had a lovely conversation :smile:

I've been trying to understand her, that she misses me and wants to hear fromm me etc so I just kept it all to myself and didn't show how this is starting to get on my nerves. But last evening when she called again, I asked her in the most polite and considerate way possible if it would be okay if I went on facebook when I wanted to, rather than she calling me every day. She nearly burst into tears and hung up.
Friends have advised me just to try to talk to her about this but talking to her is simply impossible because she is so sensitive and emotional. She over-reacts about absolutely everything it's just ridiculous.. in the end she starts crying and blames it all on me.
Anyone been in a samilar situation? Any advice you can give me?

Reply 1

Double Agent

Is it so much to ask? Jesus. At least you have a mother who is there and who cares, make the most of it.

Reply 2

h-g-1

Original post by Anonymous

Tell her that you need to settle into university; go out, do reading for lectures, socialise etc. and therefore can't just go on facebook everyday to speak to her. Then tell her that a good plan would be to chat 2 x a week as that would really help you settle in. Or equally - say one evening "tomorrow, the day after and the day after that I have XYZ. So let's talk at the weekend, ok?"

My mum does this and I'm not even in uni anymore. She does live in another country though so it's understandable. But when I feel like we've been chatting too much, she can tell because I have nothing to say and start getting annoyed and snappy and normally I can just say to her that we should talk in 3 days time or something. She understands.

Reply 3

GenialGermanGent

Your mom is weird. Mom's are not supposed to be on Facebook, let alone be friends with you on Facebook.

Reply 4

llessur123

She just misses you, don't take it for granted.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by h-g-1

Your mum seems very respectful and understanding, that's very good :smile:

But mine isn't at all, as I said she's just too sensitive. I tried to tell her once that I don't want to go on the computer because I had worked on it all day and needed rest from it and she assumed I meant I want to stop hearing from her! I tried giving her hints that it would be better if we talked less and she starts crying..

Reply 6

smileymileyx

Sorry you have a mother who cares a lot about you. Would you rather she abuses you physically or mentally on a daily basis?

Reply 7

englishmad

You're confused why your mother may be upset at the fact that her child is abroad, far away from her, and is implying that they don't want to talk to her? :confused:

I think the answer is pretty obvious, she's worried and misses you. Just because she might not be great a communicating doesn't mean she doesn't have good intentions.
I've just started university and my parents always check up on me to see what I'm doing, if I have any problems etc. Some of my other friends talk to their parents more the once a day. So I don't think you're a special case to be honest.
I think you should just put up with it to be honest and perhaps the more you settle in, the more comfortable she'll feel and perhaps she'll fell the less need to talk to you daily.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

I understand she misses me, but this is my second year away from home. Last year we actually talked less than now and it felt better because we had more to say to each other. She is normally great with communicating with all sorts of people because this is her job. It's just that in my opinion talking less will make our conversations so much more pleasent and easy-going because right now it really is a struggle. We don't have the parent-child bond so this makes it even worse.

Reply 9

politics_student

Speaking to my mother and father everyday at university is the only thing that keeps me sane!

Reply 10

The_Internet

My mum tends to talk to me once/week or twice/week or so

Reply 11

iammeyouareyou

There is no person on Earth who will love you more than your mother does. She probably wonders about what you're doing all the time you're away, she just wants to check that everything is okay so she can sleep peacefully for that night. Parents love their children more than their children love them. One day when you have kids you'll understand.

Reply 12

RowingGoose

God we must have the same mothers! I can't talk to my mum either as she just over-reacts or gets emotional and we don't really have a good relationship :/ She probably just wants to hear/see your voice (on facebook) but she needs to know that it's crushing you! (Ever heard the expression "Relationships are like birds, hold it too tight and they die" (if you see what i mean?)). What do u do if you go out at night, what do you say to her? Could you not just text her saying something simple like "had a nice day, went shopping, love you x" so that she still hears from you but it's not annoying?

P.S. I find it hard to discuss this kinda topic with others because they often have good relationships with their mothers so they can't really understand :/

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 13

HaQ_mAn_

BE grateful, not many other people on the world will make time to talk to you everyday..

Reply 14

kopite493

i have this exact same problem to be honest i think im gona tell her to just leave me alone as well i dont get on with my parents so would feel no regret ofver cutting ties

Reply 15

Welsh.Dude

I wish my mother gave a damn like yours does.
It's sad how so many people take what they have for granted.

Reply 16

Dukeofwembley

maybe she wants to hook up?

Reply 17

LouLou92

Original post by Double Agent

Is it so much to ask? Jesus. At least you have a mother who is there and who cares, make the most of it.

this is very true, it may seem irritating now, but see it from her point of view, and be glad that you are cared about enough that she wants to speak to you so often. You'd be gutted if you told her to stop ringing so much and then something happened - know from personal experience unfortunately.