Sitting on your own in a club

And why did you never make a thread about it like OP?

I am still trying to make sense of this but I have noticed a really strange way of getting girls to approach you in a club. So I am in a club with my mates and I decide to read some texts on my phone or something. Rather than going to the smoking area I sit down on my own on some sofas facing the dance floor and read some texts looking kinda brooding.

The frequency of which girls come up to me and put their arms around me or kiss me is astonishing compared to all other behavior in a club. It doesn't happen every time but it happens quite a lot that girls who are complete strangers will approach me.

Has anybody else noticed this?

sitting in the club, all alone, life's rough, watching women, wanting, can't get enough. I am a loner, hiding an adolescent like boner, wish I had her number, then I could actually lack the courage to phone her.

I have, although I wouldn't recommend it. There are two factors at work here. It is possible that simply by sitting and chilling and being like the only guy in the club that isn't either trying to grope them or lamely reciting lines out of The Game, you instantly become more attractive by default. You don't need to look brooding for this to work, you can just look happy and relaxed.

However the fact that they put their arms round you suggests that they come up because they assume there is something wrong and they feel sorry for you. Pity is not a good foundation for (even a short term) relationship, and if they figure out its a ruse they will just think you're a prick.

Aragorn is the definition of male sex appeal in my opinion. He commands the authority of his peers. He is very athletic. Only speaks when he has something of value to say. He almost never smiles and is very bashful. Compared to JD who is the definition of needy grinning insecure loser who is desperate for that one girl and for the approval of his peers.

It is not a ruse. If I decide to sit down in a club it is because I am not enjoying it very much. I am not drunk enough. Not enjoying the music. My mates are pissing me off, or whatever.

I don't think looking happy as a guy is at all good if you want to be attractive. In my experience I get very little sexual attention when I am having a great time on a night out. Whilst if I am looking just a little depressed I get so much more attention. I do think how you present yourself makes a huge difference.

I think I could make a guy with great features instantly highly unattractive just by getting him round out his shoulders, curving his back, splayed feet and a big smile.

And the same can be said for girls except I find it works the other way around. If a girl is not smiling I do not tend to find her attractive in general. I can recall seeing girls I chatted to on a night out, and did not find them attractive at the time, a few days later and thinking "She is actually good looking, why was I not into her?" And it is usually because they were not smiling. One girl in particular (she got off with me - shameless brag) I know is an expert at approaching guys. She has very open body language and smiles a lot.

Also I know of lots of guys who are good looking but don't get much female attention at all. And in most cases these are guys who are too happy. They smile too much. Too keen to please others. Too keen to makes others laugh. They try to be "confident" by being submissive.

Also in groups of lads it is the same guys who are smiling, cracking jokes and generally keen to please others that are at the bottom of the group in terms of the respect they receive from their peers. And any woman wants a guy who has the respect of his peers.

http://counsellingcentral.com/its-official-women-find-brooding-men-more-attractive-than-happy-men/





Aragorn is the definition of male sex appeal in my opinion. He commands the authority of his peers. He is very athletic. Only speaks when he has something of value to say. He almost never smiles and is very bashful. Compared to JD who is the definition of needy grinning insecure loser who is desperate for that one girl and for the approval of his peers.

So you're just sitting there, and out of the blue some random person comes and hug and kisses you? Never mind the fact that they're female, surely a bit of conversation first

Have you never seen people in a club looking like a mid-day meal before? Quite common round 'ere. Was only the other day that I started chatting up a chick that looked quite like a Subway Meatball Mariana and a packet of Ready salted crisps.

Needless to say, she looked good, but was ultimately kinda boring and definitely overpriced.

this comment made me laugh out loud in the silent study area of the library, now people are staring at me

How on earth is having a smile - which generally gives the impression of friendly confidence and self assurance - correlated with socially nervous body language? Does not make sense.

This is obviously your personal preference. Most psychologists agree that on average we become more attractive when we smile, not less.

Also, the whole quiet moody persona definitely doesn't work. As I have found out personally, if you walk around a club by yourself looking depressed you just get weird, or worse, pitying looks.

When you first meet somebody if you smile you are trying to gain their approval. You are essentially being submissive. It is an attempt to fit. It can be a bit like how a dog who feels inferior will roll over on to its back to show that it is not threat.