The Student Room Group

Young Relationships

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I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect to be with someone you met young. My parents starting going out when my mum was 14 and my dad 16 and they were married within three years. They are still happily married today 30 years later. I know several friends whose parents are in the same situation. I think that if you find someone who you mesh well enough with to fall in love and spend your life with at a young age, there's no reason it should be any different to finding them later. You're just lucky you get more time with them.

In regard to having a better time at uni if you're single, I think it completely depends on the individual and what they want out of uni.
Reply 21
i think this generation is different though in terms of the obstacles young couples face. Sites like facebook can cause a lot of trust issues between relationships and the lack of jobs means people often have to move away from where their partner lives putting a strain on the relationship. It seems that in this day and age young couples are usually fighting a losing battle in trying to make things work.
Reply 22
I met the man who would later become my husband when I was almost 22.We are still together 18 yrs later.I wouldnt say a short relationship is a waste of time,effort or feelings as every relationship teaches us about ourselves and how we deal with said relationships.
Reply 23
Original post by Bipolarb3ar
That's some jimmy saville school of grooming sh!t


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App


Different times, this as 70+ years ago, so their relationship was different, they are still married
Reply 24
Original post by ivancampo
As someone in a young relationship that is encountering a few issues i am just curious as to a few things.

Do you think it's realistic to expect yourself to be with the partner you have between the ages of 18-21 in 10 years time?

Do you think young relationships are a waste of time?

Do you think you waste your university experience by being in a relationship throughout?

I've just had this discussion with my flatmates and we all came to very differing conclusions on the above questions so i'm just curious as to what other people think?


I think there's no harm in being optimistic about spending a future together and I would say it depends on the situation (for example if you're both at different unis/going to different unis it may not work out). Overall I would say it's unlikely you would still be together in 10 years time as your relationship would have to undergo many different challenges (children, marriage maybe, etc) but then again it may all work out.

I would never say young relationships are a waste of time. They help with confidence, make you feel worthwhile, give you a better step in life when it comes to dealing with different relationship issues when you're older :smile:.

It depends on the person. I'm the sort of person who would never have a one night stand with a stranger/anyone even if i wasn't in a relationship so from that point of view no I wouldn't think I would miss out. So in response to your question no i don't think you would waste your university experience by being in a relationship throughout.
Reply 25
interesting to hear peoples opinions.

i love my relationship and i'm very happy with it most of the time but when things aren't going well it can sometimes hurt so much that you question whether it was worth getting into it in the first place. I guess in any relationship you have your highs and lows though. As someone who's never been through a break-up these things just worry me in case it did actually happen.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 26
I wouldn't get so involved with someone at 15 that it limits you - my friends has been with her boyfriend since she was 13 and they see each other every few days and are quite serious, but they've made loads of decisions because of each other, like her not applying to American unis because he doesn't want to live there. I personally wouldn't want to be pulled back at 16 because of someone I might not stay with for the next year, but they seem pretty serious, so like someone said, it's a very individual thing, I guess.
Original post by ivancampo
As someone in a young relationship that is encountering a few issues i am just curious as to a few things.

Do you think it's realistic to expect yourself to be with the partner you have between the ages of 18-21 in 10 years time?

Do you think young relationships are a waste of time?

Do you think you waste your university experience by being in a relationship throughout?

I've just had this discussion with my flatmates and we all came to very differing conclusions on the above questions so i'm just curious as to what other people think?


1. No, I don't think it's realistic. Of course, that doesn't suggest it's impossible. It simply means that due to the fact that people are rather capricious at the ages of eighteen and twenty-one, placing too much emphasis on forever being with the person one is with at eighteen is slightly too optimistic for my liking. Before I get the flood of anecdotes from people saying they know this or that person who got together with their partner at eighteen or sixteen and were together forever from thereon in, yes, I know it happens, but statistics would no doubt suggest it's a rarity.

2. No. I believe it's crucial to see a relationship as a learning experience. To enter relationships at those ages, whether they work out or not, allows one to stand a greater chance of realising precisely what they want in a partner. It's all very well for one to believe that they desire certain things in a relationship, but those notions need to be tested. People also need to gain experience about how one interacts in a relationship if they ever want to be happy in one when it becomes serious and long-term. It's ludicrous to expect two people to enter a relationship for the first time at age twenty-five or thirty, having had no experience, and still be perfectly happy. Experimenting - and I use that word innocuously - is crucial for self-realisation.

3. Waste? That depends on the individual and therefore it's stupid to try and give an absolute, categorical answer. Insofar as university opens up an entirely new pool of people, I think one could argue that it is a waste, because one might find a person who is far superior - for them, and them alone, of course - to what one had hitherto been aware of. I have found people at university far more to my tastes than I had found back in London, and restricting oneself in those circumstances seems like a bit of a shame.

Of course, what one person finds agreeable another person finds repellent, so I wouldn't like to give a categorical 'yes' or 'no'. If one is convinced that the person they found prior to, or right at the start of, university is the correct one for them, sacrificing a relationship of that quality simply to test the field would be utterly moronic.
Reply 28
It's good to hear people describe relationships as a learning experience. As a relatively young person myself when someone i know breaks up they think it's the end of the world and that they'll never be happy again, the last thing they think is that it's a learning experience! but when you hear slightly more mature people discuss matters it puts things into perspective.

yes i think with any young relationship if you want it to work in the long term you've got to respect the other persons development and allow them to experience things as an individual when you think it will be beneficial for them.

Out of the friends that i know, the ones who's relationships have failed are the ones who have been clingy and have not allowed their partners to do things by themselves occasionally, i think doing this can often make a partner resent their significant other.

From my experiences at University most of the girls i have met seem to sleep around regularly and have one night stands, there's nothing wrong with that at all as they're single and i'm sure they aren't all like this but i certainly haven't found anyone more to my taste as that isn't really my scene what so ever.
Reply 29
I'm just way too rational. If I ever did get into my first relationship the thought that "statistically there will be six more" will always be at the back of my mind and consequently id not put much effort into it.
Reply 30
i was like that too, at the start of the relationship i didn't take things seriously and had it in the back of my mind that things weren't really going to go anywhere too meaningful but as time goes on feelings develop and the statistics go out the window.. as does your rationality!

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