How to get over a hard break up?
Some of you know me, so hey 
basically, my amazing boyfriend of a year broke up with me unexpectedly last Friday. I know why he did it as he's been reasonable and talked to me about the reasons etc. I just want some advice on how to get over it. How have you guys gotten over a break up that's really hurt? This is the first time I've ever been dumped (usually I'm the one doing the dumping and I've only ever had a 2 month relationship before this/a year that was on/off all the time) so I don't know if it's supposed to hurt this much.
I have a past of addiction so I don't want to do anything I may get addicted to. I just want to let go. I do still love him but I know it can never work. Thanks! x
basically, my amazing boyfriend of a year broke up with me unexpectedly last Friday. I know why he did it as he's been reasonable and talked to me about the reasons etc. I just want some advice on how to get over it. How have you guys gotten over a break up that's really hurt? This is the first time I've ever been dumped (usually I'm the one doing the dumping and I've only ever had a 2 month relationship before this/a year that was on/off all the time) so I don't know if it's supposed to hurt this much.I have a past of addiction so I don't want to do anything I may get addicted to. I just want to let go. I do still love him but I know it can never work. Thanks! x
For a start I think you're taking this way better than my breakup first breakup - it's not like one of those long threads where you have to explain everything to us.
It does hurt, a lot, and for me the way I got through it was when university finished and I came back home. I think it's the view - my girlfriend and I got together in university and only kept it there, and so when I came back home, the massive change of view got me thinking about other stuff and the daily routines that had changed helped as well.
I guess if you can't do that then getting into one of you 'obsessions' wouldn't be too bad - quitting an obsession would be easier than forgetting about him.
It does hurt, a lot, and for me the way I got through it was when university finished and I came back home. I think it's the view - my girlfriend and I got together in university and only kept it there, and so when I came back home, the massive change of view got me thinking about other stuff and the daily routines that had changed helped as well.
I guess if you can't do that then getting into one of you 'obsessions' wouldn't be too bad - quitting an obsession would be easier than forgetting about him.
(edited 11 years ago)
Ice cream, vodka, Adele
edit: that sounds a bit insensitive
maybe talk to your family, or one of your closest friends for support?
edit: that sounds a bit insensitive
maybe talk to your family, or one of your closest friends for support?(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by jazzykinks
Some of you know me, so hey basically, my amazing boyfriend of a year broke up with me unexpectedly last Friday. I know why he did it as he's been reasonable and talked to me about the reasons etc. I just want some advice on how to get over it. How have you guys gotten over a break up that's really hurt? This is the first time I've ever been dumped (usually I'm the one doing the dumping and I've only ever had a 2 month relationship before this/a year that was on/off all the time) so I don't know if it's supposed to hurt this much.
I have a past of addiction so I don't want to do anything I may get addicted to. I just want to let go. I do still love him but I know it can never work. Thanks! x
basically, my amazing boyfriend of a year broke up with me unexpectedly last Friday. I know why he did it as he's been reasonable and talked to me about the reasons etc. I just want some advice on how to get over it. How have you guys gotten over a break up that's really hurt? This is the first time I've ever been dumped (usually I'm the one doing the dumping and I've only ever had a 2 month relationship before this/a year that was on/off all the time) so I don't know if it's supposed to hurt this much.I have a past of addiction so I don't want to do anything I may get addicted to. I just want to let go. I do still love him but I know it can never work. Thanks! x
Shedding tears is very important as it will make you stronger. Listen to inspirational songs like Taylor Swifts. Dont talk to him, show him your independency, dont show him that you're chasing after him..guys likes to be 'ignored' - trust me, he will miss you if you these thing and perhaps talk to you...im a gay guy and I've studied this thoroughly. Just focus on your study and hang out with your friends..maybe find someone who is better than him - thats what it means...break ups happen because nothing is working...goodluck!
Original post by *~HeartShapedBox
Ice cream, vodka, Adele
edit: that sounds a bit insensitive maybe talk to your family, or one of your closest friends for support?
edit: that sounds a bit insensitive
maybe talk to your family, or one of your closest friends for support?ADELE DEFFINITELY!! and abit of Taylor Swift
Every day it hurts a little bit less and you see a little more optimistically. I promise
Hey 
So sorry to hear that OP. The only advice I can give you is to allow yourself to wallow in self-pity, cry, watch silly movies, listen to break-up music, indulge in some retail therapy, eat tubs and tubs of ice cream, feel horrible, sit around in your pjs all day looking like a mess, etc. - but to set a time limit for how long you're allowed to let yourself go. A couple of days, for instance. After that, after the initial stage of letting yourself go, make sure you focus your attention on something else, whether it's uni work, a hobby, going out with your friends, anything. That way you won't be thinking about him all the time, which wouldn't be healthy.
Also, hide him from your newsfeed on facebook, at least for while. Trust me. At least for a while, you''ll want to cut all contact with him. You can go back to being friends afterwards - once you're over him. Staying in touch with him, or seeing him popping up on your newsfeed all the time, will only make things that much harder.
Finally: it's really tough at first. There's no getting around that. A break-up always hurts. Just remember that this is your lowest point. From now on, things will only get better. It will hurt a little less each day, until one day you'll realise that you're over him.
This advice is what works for me, anyway. Good luck OP
So sorry to hear that OP. The only advice I can give you is to allow yourself to wallow in self-pity, cry, watch silly movies, listen to break-up music, indulge in some retail therapy, eat tubs and tubs of ice cream, feel horrible, sit around in your pjs all day looking like a mess, etc. - but to set a time limit for how long you're allowed to let yourself go. A couple of days, for instance. After that, after the initial stage of letting yourself go, make sure you focus your attention on something else, whether it's uni work, a hobby, going out with your friends, anything. That way you won't be thinking about him all the time, which wouldn't be healthy. Also, hide him from your newsfeed on facebook, at least for while. Trust me. At least for a while, you''ll want to cut all contact with him. You can go back to being friends afterwards - once you're over him. Staying in touch with him, or seeing him popping up on your newsfeed all the time, will only make things that much harder.
Finally: it's really tough at first. There's no getting around that. A break-up always hurts. Just remember that this is your lowest point. From now on, things will only get better. It will hurt a little less each day, until one day you'll realise that you're over him.
This advice is what works for me, anyway. Good luck OP
(edited 11 years ago)
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