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Was I being too blunt/nosy?

My boyfriend has a crazy ex girlfriend and for ages after they broke up she refused to move out of his flat and back into her own house - this went on for so long that she was still living there when we first started seeing each other...my boyfriend was really honest about it and i know she slept in his bed while he took the sofa but sometimes she would try to crawl onto the sofa with him in the middle of the night, and still cook him meals and stuff like that and he was doing a lot of building work on her house, she used to call him alot while we were together as well it was a very uncomfortable situation but i dealt with it....

she even had a key to his house after she moved out and once she came over really early in the morning and came into his bedroom...while i was in there with him and practically dragged him out of bed!! awkward!! (his sister who is friends with her told me that the crazy ex had spotted my shoes before she came into the room so she knew i was in there)

its been about 3 months since she moved out and really recently he told me that he hadn't spoken or seen her at all for ages and i hadnt even thought about it until this morning, he stayed over last night and when his alarm went off for work i grabbed his phone and tried to turn it off and saw that he had a text from her (her name was on the screen) i didnt read it i just gave it straight to him and said, '*her name* is messaging you*

we were texting about an hour ago and it has been bothering me all day because i thought they hadnt been in contact - because that's what he told me - so i just asked him what she had wanted...(i didnt put it rudely or demandly) just tried to make it as casual as possible... and now hes been silent for ages and im worrying

should i have just butted out? i just couldnt stop thinking about it and wanted to at least ask him before i started getting all silly thoughts about it...i just thought all the complications were over and all the stuff he has said about her concluded that he wanted nothing more to do with her...so im confusedddddd...was it the right thing to do, will he be mad at me?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 1

subjectman10

I think it's a lot deeper than you think.. I believe he is secretly seeing her behind your back.

Reply 2

Goody2Shoes-x

No, you have a perfect right to question this - her behaviour is weird, and it's a bit suspicious that your boyfriend would keep stuff from you. It's likely innocent, him not wanting to cause a row by mentioning her, but I too would feel a bit funny about this - she sounds like a loon.

Reply 3

Ladyliesel

This is an unusual situation so I don't blame you for being confused and suspicious. If he wants to be with you then he should put his foot down and make her leave.

Walk away.

No that sounds pretty dodgy...I would wait it out and see what he says rather than caving and giving him a way out of answering. If it was innocent, he should be able to reply easily. It's definitely not rude that you asked!