I want a boyfriend but have no friends and no social life... What to do?

Im a 21 year old female, nearly 22... Just finished uni!
I'm not some outcast, I'm attractive and friendly girl.

At uni I had quite a few friends and over them 3 years I had boyfriends too!
Now I'm not at uni anymore and hundreds of miles away from there, I have slowly lost all contact with my old uni friends. People seem to be busy and having lots of fun I just had a look at an ex's Facebook (whom I still like.. but he probably doesn't even think about me anymore) he's working in France, just got into a new relationship with a beautiful girl, he'd just been tagged in lots of pictures with friends having fun... I'm quite jealous and it has just crushed me.


Here at home i had a friend or 2 who I use to go out partying about once every three weeks before - they'd ask when they had no one else and just when I thought we were getting close to one of them she started bitching behind my back, because thats the type of girls they are! And now they both have boyfriends and just aren't interested in me whatsoever. We haven't spoken for months now. The second one ignores my texts half the time, we were suppost to go out Saturday and we'd arranged it for weeks, she blew me off without even replying and I found on Facebook that she went out with another girl instead. I was really looking forward to our night out too 

Im not in the environment to meet people at work but I have tried joining a gym in search of friendship but people don't talk. I saw a guy a good looking guy on the mat next to me, he was talking to his friend about skiing, I overhead and asked where he'd been... making a move. They were friendly, we chatted for a bit, they also asked questions about me but then they went. I go twice a week after work, there are quite a few attractive guys I see but there always in the weights section, I've seen a 1 or 2 giving me 'the eye' too but like I said the gym doesn't seem to be the place for that...

I just don't know where to look, I literally have no social life and no friends. The only places I go are with my mum - shopping and eating out sometimes.

I spend a lot of time in the house since I only work 2 days a week and YES I'm trying to look for something better... I don't have a car and therefore I don't do much with my days off, it's a chew getting into town via bus when I'll only be browsing at things I don't haven't the money to buy or getting a coffee for one... Although I sometimes do every 2 or 3 weeks.
Sometimes I don't leave the house for days
I'm very keen on horse riding and want my own horse, but i dont have money to afford lessons anymore 

I have looked to find local clubs and similar but the city I live in is very very small and doesn't have much going on.


Any suggestions or advice? X


Any advice? I just want to start lii

Get friends and a social life.

rich comin the guy with 16,000,000 posts lol

I'm very similar. I'm 22, I've been out of my uni environment since June and I desperately want to get back into the swing of it. I used to be on the committee of a sports club at uni and some of my friends from there are just into the full flow of life and it's chilling to not be there with them. One of my friends posted a Facebook picture of himself at work looking out over a cityscape which was the final straw for me!

The social and day to day life here at home doesn't compare, I work two days a week as well but it's lonely work. I'm just applying for grad jobs and heading back to my uni town to meet old friends and do old things. I have a pretty expensive hobby too (football), which (and I'll cry you a river) is getting harder to pay for. I was there this weekend, met friends afterwards and it was just ugh to have to drop everything and head for the station at 10pm to go home.

My advice to you would be the advice I can't seem to take myself: start aspiring high, get your mood out of the pits and apply for some grad jobs, taking each setback as a learning experience. Drop your 'friends' who obviously aren't friends and focus on yourself and getting out of the career block. I'm doing everything to move back to where I went to uni, simply because I enjoyed life so much there. It's not about being in a relationship so much as having a life you enjoy. I don't particularly want to be in a relationship at home because it will tie me down from doing what I want to do. Don't settle in a city where you're not happy.

How is football expensive? Do you mean watching or playing?

I think, like, 90% of students suffer this ridiculously soulcrushing comedown after leaving university and finding their perfect job isn't there waiting for them, and they might actually have to suffer the indignity of going back and living with their parents.

It does get better, but it takes a crazy amount of time, like 2-3 years, to find a job and a flat and build up a social life comparable to your university life all over again. By which time you're too old to go out and get drunk anyway.

I think, like, 90% of students suffer this ridiculously soulcrushing comedown after leaving university and finding their perfect job isn't there waiting for them, and they might actually have to suffer the indignity of going back and living with their parents.

It does get better, but it takes a crazy amount of time, like 2-3 years, to find a job and a flat and build up a social life comparable to your university life all over again. By which time you're too old to go out and get drunk anyway.

This is so true. I can't begin to explain how horrible it is leaving a place you've set up a life for 3 years. Did you feel the same way?

I went through it twice: once after my degree while I ummed and aahed about what to do next, and again for 6 months after my PhD. Its so strange how quickly the optimism of graduation drains away. It only takes about a month before you completely lose the will to live.

Making friends is easy if you have a positive outlook on life. Joining the gym is a really expensive way to make friends, and working out is quite a solitary activity awsell. Did you have a hobby when you were a kid, take that up again, if you do a sports club then that is way easier to make friends, table tennis is great becuase you are put into pairs or 4's. Just take your time and in no time you'll be out having a great time. Remember though, it takes time to make a good friendship and you don't have to see eachother everyday cos you dont work together. Maybe set your background as a picture of them so it reminds you to call them and arange to meet up. (Not in a pervy way though) The reason you are struggling with a relationship is because you have less confidence because you have less friends. Friends are the key, and anyway, when you do get a guy, if you dont have close girly friends then how are you going to gossip with them about him anyway. Hope that helps <3