[GUIDE] How to approach that attractive person

Hello and welcome!

This guide is for those people who regularly see someone they seem to like or feel attracted to, but don't know how, or are too afraid to approach them. Shy people, quiet people, this is probably the guide for you! Things here are applicable for both genders. I decided to write this because there seem to be many many people who have this problem.

At this point, you might be thinking: Hey, aren't you that 15 year old Asian kid? Why should I listen to you?

I've given the same piece of advice to many people and it has worked like, 99% of the time.
I used to be quite shy when it came to speaking to girls (some advice I got elsewhere also helped me). I've tried this myself as well so...

Result:

So I managed to snag a photo with a really good looking girl, because I had the confidence to go up to her and speak to her

So let's get started!
Imagine, you see a cute guy/girl and you see them regularly. This could be because you go to the same gym, or go to the same classes. You're in that cycle where you look at them, and quickly look away when they look at you. Both of you are reluctant to break the ice, because you both aren't brave enough

Well let me say, the golden rule for this is:

Rejection is better than regret. Far far better.

What does this mean?
Let's go back to the example. Let's say, that cute guy/girl suddenly disappeared. You never saw them ever again ever since. Not only would you feel devastated but you would also regret not speaking to them.
You didn't speak to them because you weren't confident enough. Regret is a horrible horrible horrible feeling! If you don't believe me then you need to experience both regret and rejection... If you get rejected, it's a bit awkward, but life goes on, and there are plenty more people out there! You will also become 'stronger' - not physically, but mentally. You'll become less shy, and more confident!

Let me tell you now, being confident is all in your mentality.
You need to ask yourself, why are you scared?
Seriously, why are you scared?
It's a completely irrational fear. There's really nothing to be scared about!
Think of it as a low risk, high reward scenario.
You finally manned up and spoke to that person. You're now acquaintances/friends. Everyone wins.
But if you don't speak to that person, everyone loses.
Hopefully you should be feeling a bit more confident now.

Most of the time people are worried and don't want to speak because they don't know what to talk about. You can talk about whatever the hell you want to talk about. If you are reading this then you probably have never spoken to them, so find out a bit about them! If you find it funny, chances are they will find it funny too.

Others are worried about when to speak to them. The best time to do it is when they are alone. This isn't always possible, but if you can speak to them when they are alone, then it makes it so so so much easier. First impressions can really help your relationship with that person grow, and it's easiest to make the best one alone. How do you make a good first impression? Do something memorable. Tell a funny story perhaps.

Here's a story about a first impression I made. Might be an entertaining read.

Spoiler

Does it really matter? Look at me now, I'm a spotty teenager but that doesn't stop me speaking to girls.

Girls are usually more attracted to confidence rather than looks. Just think about it - if you aren't confident enough to even speak to them, why would they even be interested in the slightest in you?

Let's put this into use now.
You see the attractive person you are attracted to. Your heart starts beating faster, and you have butterflies in your stomach. You're feeling reluctant again, but no, approach that person! Say hi! Speak to them!
What is the worse that can happen?
Hopefully you had a nice chat with them.
There you go! You've just met someone who could be a potential life partner!

Imagine you didn't speak to them. That's a potential life partner gone.

Just remember the golden rule:
REJECTION IS BETTER THAN REGRET.

Good luck!

Thanks for reading this, I hope this helps.
Should you have any feedback (negative/positive), or feel I have missed anything important, then post it below.
Please post any questions you have below.
Has this helped? Why not share your story!

I'm in a bit of a situation......suppose there's someone you have liked for a while and have managed to become friends with them as well.....and then your friends/others find out and start making things VERY awkward to the point where the person finds out that you like them and then you both start avoiding each other...or maybe it's just you who is avoiding the person you like because you are scared of rejection/the idea that you may not be friends with them again.....

And then you have a suspicion that the person is gay as well which could explain why he has backed off a lot...how would you rekindle your friendship with them?

Can I ask whether your picture with the acne was before or after the picture on the top of the thread with the gorgeous girl?

I don't think I understand your question too well but I will try and answer.

So this person knows you like them? Have you spoken to them since? If you did then you can figure out if they are trying to avoid you, but if you are still scared of rejection then you're not going to become friends again, as you probably won't talk to them.

I assume you are a girl as well, but you really should just speak to that person again. You asked about "rekindling your friendship" - do you want to be more than friends? Or just friends? Either way you should speak to them.

This might not be the best thing to do but it's what I would do. Don't be scared!! I can appreciate that the situation might be a bit awkward but you need to just do it!

X

I completely agree OP. It was a lovely post and I am in a bit of a situation and it is quite nearly impossible to find him again, but not completely impossible.

It goes like this:

I am at the bus stop with my little brother, waiting for the bus and I see him and he sees me. We both smile and I was I dont want to go into the mushy details because I cannot explain how I felt when I saw him.

Anyways, we get the same bus and he sits behind me and I tell my little brother that I like and obviously like an immature child he embarrasses me but he was sitting behind us and giggling because I was telling my little brother to stop. I got off at my stop and he smiled.

After that, he disappeared and I didnt see him till two weeks later and was completely taken by his smile and told everyone (home, friends at work etc..) that I like this guy who I dont even know :/ and he smiled at me and the same thing happened, I got off at my stop.

Then, he disappeared again, but this time for like three months and I was really upset because I didnt see him And then he came back and it was like he was waiting for me, I got off the first bus and he was standing there and he smiled at me with such a massive smile! if that even makes sense? and I didnt go upto him

And, I havent seen him in ages.. but my little brother saw him about a week ago, so I am thinking he is still around?

I guess I just need to man up and say HI.

It's a horrible feeling isn't it? Go up to him and say hi, you might never see him again! You need to man up and do it Perhaps ask him about why he uses this bus, and if he says he doesn't use it regularly then you should try and get his number after you first speak to him! If you don't then you will feel regret for a very long time. The worse he can do is not speak to you, and you will only feel rejected for a very short time.

Good luck!

yes, exactly !

Would it be weird if a girl came up to you and was like:

girl: hey, how are you?
him: fine thanks you
girl: yeah I am good too, what bus are you getting?
him: the ** and you?
girl: me too

then we get the bus *hopefully*

I am about to get off then I say

Girl: Oh, sorry, I didnt get your name?
him: zack.. (fake obvs)
girl: well, hi zack my name is serena
him: says something
girl: when can I see you next?

then how the hell would I ask for his number?!?!

yes, exactly !

Would it be weird if a girl came up to you and was like:

girl: hey, how are you?
him: fine thanks you
girl: yeah I am good too, what bus are you getting?
him: the ** and you?
girl: me too

then we get the bus *hopefully*

I am about to get off then I say

Girl: Oh, sorry, I didnt get your name?
him: zack.. (fake obvs)
girl: well, hi zack my name is serena
him: says something
girl: when can I see you next?

then how the hell would I ask for his number?!?!

Well, hope that he would ask for it

I think it would all depend on how things were on the bus. If you were speaking and getting on really well, he'd definitely feel comfortable asking for your number