The Student Room Group

Girl interested, now ignoring me?

Hi guys, I'm in a bit of a strange situation. It's not really that important but it's bothering me - why?

So we got on really well before the start of the Christmas holidays, we got each other quite flirtatious cards, spoke a fair bit, texted. I didn't really speak to her much until she got me a card (I started talking to her more after this) and I've been in her class for a few years. We used to go out, but that was back when I was but a naive, boy, who didn't understand relationships (good few years ago). It wasn't even a relationship.

I made jokes about how all this Christmas I would be antisocial as I'd be revising and lonely at home, and we agreed to Skype. Then the Christmas holidays began. I decided to speak to her on FB, text her a bit more - but now she seems to be ignoring me, her texts before that suddenly became short answers as opposed to her usual longer ones... I've genuinely no idea why. She's quite a good friend, and I kinda want to stay that way, perhaps even have a relationship again (but this time meaningful). She did say I'm a lovely guy and a good friend, but now she's ignoring me which I don't get at all! It's like she dislikes me now, and isn't even interested in knowing me anymore.

So I've been thinking about it - should I ask her in person why she's been ignoring me? Maybe she feels I'm using her to get with her or get sex?!? IDK :frown:

Any help will be appreciated.

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Reply 1
I'm also worried that confronting her about it will damage my reputation with other girls...
Reply 2
I should add - I'm a bit worried confronting her about this will damage my reputation amongst girls...
Reply 3
If she says your a good friend that really means she doesn't want 2 bone you
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys, I'm in a bit of a strange situation. It's not really that important but it's bothering me - why?

So we got on really well before the start of the Christmas holidays, we got each other quite flirtatious cards, spoke a fair bit, texted. I didn't really speak to her much until she got me a card (I started talking to her more after this) and I've been in her class for a few years. We used to go out, but that was back when I was but a naive, boy, who didn't understand relationships (good few years ago). It wasn't even a relationship.

I made jokes about how all this Christmas I would be antisocial as I'd be revising and lonely at home, and we agreed to Skype. Then the Christmas holidays began. I decided to speak to her on FB, text her a bit more - but now she seems to be ignoring me, her texts before that suddenly became short answers as opposed to her usual longer ones... I've genuinely no idea why. She's quite a good friend, and I kinda want to stay that way, perhaps even have a relationship again (but this time meaningful). She did say I'm a lovely guy and a good friend, but now she's ignoring me which I don't get at all! It's like she dislikes me now, and isn't even interested in knowing me anymore.

So I've been thinking about it - should I ask her in person why she's been ignoring me? Maybe she feels I'm using her to get with her or get sex?!? IDK :frown:

Any help will be appreciated.


A moment of silence for a brother in the friend zone.
Reply 5
Original post by IlexBlue
A moment of silence for a brother in the friend zone.


It doesn't bother me that I have been "friend zoned", what really bothers me is the reason she is ignoring me - I have no idea why! And that's what I want to know!

But thanks, I appreciate it
Reply 6
Get with other girls, she'll soon come running back. Girls are psycho like that.
Reply 7
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It happens to the best of us mate- try not to lose any sleep over it. :smile:)
Reply 8
Original post by IlexBlue
A moment of silence for a brother in the friend zone.


but....but...but you are a woman? :confused:
Reply 9
Original post by Sol1dShot
but....but...but you are a woman? :confused:


Hey, sisters can get friend-zoned too. :colonhash:
Reply 10
Original post by IlexBlue
Hey, sisters can get friend-zoned too. :colonhash:


What man would be that heartless?!?!
Reply 11
Original post by Sol1dShot
What man would be that heartless?!?!


Some men are just cruel. :emo:
Reply 12
Original post by IlexBlue
Some men are just cruel. :emo:


:console:

if it helps, I'LL NEVER put friendship before the chance for sex... Because I care!
Reply 13
Original post by Sol1dShot
:console:

if it helps, I'LL NEVER put friendship before the chance for sex... Because I care!


That's what I like to hear! Who needs sincerity and feelings, I mean come on. :cool:
Just casually mentions she's been a bit quiet with messaging. She might view it as a hint and say "wrong path for us blah blah" or "been really rushed off me feet cause it's xmas,IT'S HECTICCCCCCCCCCCC" Best bet without making **** awkward.
Reply 15
Original post by IlexBlue
That's what I like to hear! Who needs sincerity and feelings, I mean come on. :cool:


exactly! I mean you can have boobs! For like breakfast lunch AND dinner?!?! opposed to someone to go see a film with?! madness.:smile:
Reply 16
Just give her some time. She is figuring you out apparantly. If she complains later that you ignored her, tell her how you dont think you need to keep asking for her attention when she doesnt feel up to it. You know that will show you will give her space in future too. Going for any adverse steps might just irritate her and you'd lose her. It will be best if she feels friend zoned, trust me that will piss her off if she likes you the other way. If not, well atleast you guys can be friends!
cheers!
Ask her why she's ignoring you. If she answers something like "because you're an *******" then move on and find another woman. If she answers something like "because I dont think you love me", explain to her that you do love her and you would do anything for her. That would make her feel like you care about her and then she would probably stop ignoring you and love you back too.
Reply 18
Original post by Ophelia127
Just give her some time. She is figuring you out apparantly. If she complains later that you ignored her, tell her how you dont think you need to keep asking for her attention when she doesnt feel up to it. You know that will show you will give her space in future too. Going for any adverse steps might just irritate her and you'd lose her. It will be best if she feels friend zoned, trust me that will piss her off if she likes you the other way. If not, well atleast you guys can be friends!
cheers!


I'm a bit confused about what that bit in bold means, sorry..
So I should try to friend zone her? I wouldn't mind

Original post by Speed Of Light
Ask her why she's ignoring you. If she answers something like "because you're an *******" then move on and find another woman. If she answers something like "because I dont think you love me", explain to her that you do love her and you would do anything for her. That would make her feel like you care about her and then she would probably stop ignoring you and love you back too.


Should I ask her in person? Because if I do I will need to wait until January when I'm back at school.

I don't know, but could she be playing 'hard to get', to see if I care?
Anon posts don't seem to be working so forget it.

Original post by Ophelia127
tell her how you dont think you need to keep asking for her attention when she doesnt feel up to it.


I don't really understand this bit, can you explain it please? sorry...
I wouldn't mind friend zoning her or being friend zoned tbh

Original post by Speed Of Light
Ask her why she's ignoring you. If she answers something like "because you're an *******" then move on and find another woman. If she answers something like "because I dont think you love me", explain to her that you do love her and you would do anything for her. That would make her feel like you care about her and then she would probably stop ignoring you and love you back too.


Should I ask her in person? I won't be able to until January as I'm back to school then.
I don't really "love and and would do anything for her though", we're just "good friends", apparently. Sure I like her a bit. Would it be right to lie about feelings?!

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