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Did I lose out on the best girlfriend ever?

Anonymous #1

Sooo, I'm in my first year of uni, and met a girl on my course... she was stunning, like literally absolutely gorgeous--- she got stopped on the street by random people just to tell her she had a beautiful smile. I'm just an average looking guy, probably considered bad looking in all honesty, and so i didn't think I had a chance with her.
Anyway, we somehow started hanging out, she was intelligent and we liked the same sort of things, and we made each other laugh- we had inside jokes almost straight away, and obviously I ended up really liking her. After a while I told her and she said she liked me too, and we ended up dating. I was her first boyfriend, and so she was a little shy at times, but she was a good kisser and we had fun together but then after three weeks of being in a relationship I told her I wanted to end things... I just found that I'd distanced myself from her, I wasn't putting in any effort to see her, which seemed to bother her and I don't know why it went wrong... she was perfect. Now I haven't spoken to her since, I can't bring myself to. Did I **** up? Does she deserve better? help?

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Reply 1

20z12

Make it back up to her Man. You haved f'd up but it's still ok to sort it. If you liked her do much why did you distance yourself? Call her.

Reply 2

haycun

I think first of all you need to address the issue regarding WHY you began distancing yourself from someone you adored so much?
If you can figure that out then it will probably give you a great insight into what went wrong and may even give you the confidence to talk to her again.

Reply 3

Four Queue

She clearly wasn't that perfect, otherwise you would have probably made more of an effort and not chosen to break up with her.

Reply 4

haycun

Original post by Four Queue

She clearly wasn't that perfect, otherwise you would have probably made more of an effort and not chosen to break up with her.

That's not necessarily true though, he could naturally push people away due to some other underlying issue.

Reply 5

hihihihihi

The question is, did she get the D beforehand?

Reply 6

Alpharius

If she really was perfect for you, why the hell did you start distancing yourself from her? And why did you decide to end it?

You sound insecure to me. "I'm below average..." "...I distanced myself from her..." Not what someone with any real self-belief would say/do. Because of that, yes, she probably deserves someone better, who's not going to do stupid things like dumping her because of his own insecurities.

Why are there so many stupid people on TSR?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 7

RichyFrench

Call her, apologise for what you did and tell her you'd like to meet her in person.

Apologise in person, tell her you'd like to make it up to her, but if she's had enough then you understand that. Then spend the day with her, take her to a film, dinner, buy her a rose. She sounded right for you even if she was out of your league, you'd do well to get her back.

If you don't try you'll regret it forever.

Reply 8

katyness

Yeah I think you missed out. I've been in the same situation and I just can't even look at him right now. He wants me back and I'm over him but when I see him I just think of the waste of time he was and how he just broke up with me with no good reason. I don't give second chances so tough for him.

Reply 9

elitemodella

Man up and apologise is you want her back. If not, move on...
And that doesn't mean fine a new gf btw it just means move on with your life.

Reply 10

elitemodella

Original post by hihihihihi

The question is, did she get the D beforehand?

No, the question is did she have D cups haha

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by 20z12

Make it back up to her Man. You haved f'd up but it's still ok to sort it. If you liked her do much why did you distance yourself? Call her.

Original post by haycun

Original post by Alpharius

In answering all these in one go, ughhh, I don't know really. I wouldn't say that I'm an insecure guy, but I kinda think that I knew it wasn't going to last and wanted to be the one to break up with her rather than the other way round... there were so many guys interested in her. We went out a couple of times though neither of us were big fans of it, and guys were hitting on her left right and centre- she wasn't interested/reciprocating, but I guess I figured that at some point she'd realise she could do a lot better. I'm not a romantic guy and I didn't really know how to show her how much I liked her, so I just didn't... I think I was kinda trying to play hard to get but maybe I overdid it. Well, I know I over did it. I guess I just feel like she's the dream girl who soooo many guys would want to date, and there's probably hundreds of them who would treat her better than I did, I don't really deserve her.

Original post by hihihihihi

The question is, did she get the D beforehand?

No, we literally just made out that's it.

Reply 12

CJKay

Original post by marcus2001

Closest a female has come to being a LAD since records began

Just no.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by 20z12

Make it back up to her Man. You haved f'd up but it's still ok to sort it. If you liked her do much why did you distance yourself? Call her.

Original post by haycun

Original post by Alpharius

Original post by katyness

Thanks for the replies... I wouldn't really describe myself as insecure, I'm quite confident (which I guess is how I managed to end up hanging out with her). Thinking about it I kinda wonder whether I broke up with her because I knew it wouldn't last... I guess I wanted to break up with her before she broke up with me. Plus I was kinda trying to play hard to get, I guess, think I went a bit too far. But yeah, whenever we went out or anything, guys would be hitting on her left right and centre... she didn't really seem to notice, she seems pretty unaware of how attractive she is, and she definitely wasn't reciprocating, but I figured it was only a short amount of time before she found someone better looking who would be a better boyfriend. I mean, I was a bit bad at it all, I didn't take her on any dates or anything, I guess I kinda left everything up to her? I don't know, she seems like the dream girl, isn't she the kind of girl every guy dreams of? Gorgeous, funny, creative, intelligent... I don't know. I really feel like I've ****ed up!

Reply 14

Journeyzap

Original post by katyness

Out of curiosity - how did it happen/what was the context?

@OP: Why did you distance yourself from her? Did you truly like her, or just felt you should like her because she had good attributes? What do you really feel about her?

if you do truly like her, miss her and want her back, then you should seek her out and try and meet up with her again, and give her a date that she won't forget (ie, do something amazing, or take her somewhere, pay for everything, give her a Christmas card/a gift or something special with thought for her), explain what you felt and how silly you were, and you would like to start over again - and if she gives you said chance, don't waste it, and don't let your insecurities get the better of you.

If you did not truly like her and just felt you should because you thought she was "better than you" or just really good looking/good person, then I'd leave it be, as everyone deserves someone who truly likes them. Maybe you would be missing out, but you would not truly appreciate her, so you would be missing out regardless of whether you are with her or not.

Reply 15

elitemodella

Original post by marcus2001

Closest a female has come to being a LAD since records began

Well thanks, lol :rolleyes:

Reply 16

PoGo HoPz

Dude, what were you thinking?! You have to get her back! :mmm:

Reply 17

KimKallstrom

OP I have got some bad nuwz for you.......

Reply 18

KL Ibrahim

First of all, don't panic, this happens, and worse things too.
Try to think for yourself, why did this happen? Why did you distance yourself from her? What were you feeling? What were you missing? Wasn't she satisfying or were you just expecting something that felt more real?
Have you felt this way before? Did you try to make an effort at least?
Don't you believe in a proper serious relationship?
Analyse... think...

It's never too late to figure out what's important in your life, and to start fighting for it.
Unless she's moved on, there may be hope for you yet.
Call her. Fix it.
If you can't, what's stopping you from being friends? I mean, that's how it started out, right?

Reply 19

username47781

If you liked her that much why did you run away? you get scared or something? seriously if you want her call her and beg for forgiveness and just hope she accepts your apology.