The Student Room Group

Is it normal to be turned off by lots of sex talk?

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Reply 40
Original post by Anonymous
I made friends with a guy from work a few months ago. I think he fancies me, and has said several explicit things to me, in person, by text and online like (paraphrasing as best as I can):

"Can we **** please?"
"Send me a pic of your tits"
"You probably have a nice tight pussy"
"I really wanna lick you out"
"You have lovely boobs"
"I want to smash your front and back doors in"

And lots more. He does also call me beautiful sometimes, but I feel like that's overridden by all the other lewd comments he makes.

I liked him as a friend, but I can't fancy him when he keeps speaking to me like that. He's seems way too sex-mad for me, and I worry he doesn't see me as much more than a sex object. It's also overwhelming as he's the first guy to act that way towards me.

I don't need a guy to treat me like that, being all sex mad in order to get me to fancy him; just being a generally friendly and interesting person with plenty of decent conversation will do.

Is this unusual for me to feel like this? Am I possibly at all demisexual, have a low sex drive, or just prefer a personality and romance rather than just sex?

By the way, I'm a virgin as I just haven't found the right guy yet, and this guy certainly won't be it.


Do you work with Jay from the Inbetweeners? :colondollar:
Reply 41
Original post by Ice Constricter
I seriously don't see how anyone could be naive enough to not see what they're doing isn't attracting the girl they want. So I think it's less about him not getting the message that you're not interested and more about him gaining some sadistic pleasure when he tells you about all the rapey things he wants to do to you. So seriously, just don't ever contact that lowlife ever again considering he's unlikely to stop and you don't know what he's capable of.


He must have been doing something right, since OP made out with him....
Original post by dgeorge
He must have been doing something right, since OP made out with him....


I wasn't referring to the OP, I was reffering to TanyaZoexx's situation that's why I quoted her and not the OP.
Reply 43
Original post by Ice Constricter
I wasn't referring to the OP, I was reffering to TanyaZoexx's situation that's why I quoted her and not the OP.


My bad, ok
Original post by dgeorge
My bad, ok


It's cool :h:

Although I do agree, the OP does seem to have led him on somewhat, not that what he's doing is now ok.
Original post by Ice Constricter
I seriously don't see how anyone could be naive enough to not see what they're doing isn't attracting the girl they want. So I think it's less about him not getting the message that you're not interested and more about him gaining some sadistic pleasure when he tells you about all the rapey things he wants to do to you. So seriously, just don't ever contact that lowlife ever again considering he's unlikely to stop and you don't know what he's capable of.


I've genuinely no idea either! It can't be the response or anything that he gets out of it, considering there's absolutely no response, and it just used to creep me out! Also, I didn't mention this before, but this guy actually has a girlfriend, thinking about it, I'm actually worried for her and her safety! I definitely won't though, thank you for your concern! :smile: my friends wanted to contact him and try and play along for jokes, but I was worried that when they gave up, he'd still continue, and things would just get out-of-hand, so had to say noo!
Reply 46
Original post by dgeorge
Now I've just read the rest of the thread, including this gem here:



Now I NEVER condone any type of sexual harassment whatsoever. But honestly OP, you DID encourage it!



Ya think?


I know, I'm an idiot :frown:. Honestly, I think if I had better luck with guys and if I didn't have such a lack of friends, then maybe I wouldn't have bothered to see him like I did. Slight desperation on my part to hope that he'd turn out a decent guy. I made a mistake and now I'm just trying to fix it by trying to cut contact with him. I realise it's nothing's gonna work between us, friendship or otherwise, if all he wants to do is shag me, and all I want to do is not shag him :frown:. I'm only glad I didn't end up doing anything sexual with him, as I'd so be regretting.
Reply 47
By the way, he did say some of this smutty stuff before I kissed him, so I don't think it was completely me leading him on at the start at least, but yeah kissing him at all maybe wasn't the best idea!
Reply 48
Original post by dgeorge
He must have been doing something right, since OP made out with him....


In all honesty, normally nobody ever wants to make out with me. I'm generally just this weird seemingly unattractive girl that can never get with any guys. So then I had this chance, it was a stupid chance, but I took it. Well, I took some of it. He kissed me, groped me and tried to look down my pants and top, but I managed to make sure not to go any further with him. I worried a bit that he might sexually assault me so I feel so stupid now that I even went to go hang out with him alone :frown:. Being me is just **** tbh.
Reply 49
Original post by Anonymous
In all honesty, normally nobody ever wants to make out with me. I'm generally just this weird seemingly unattractive girl that can never get with any guys. So then I had this chance, it was a stupid chance, but I took it. Well, I took some of it. He kissed me, groped me and tried to look down my pants and top, but I managed to make sure not to go any further with him. I worried a bit that he might sexually assault me so I feel so stupid now that I even went to go hang out with him alone :frown:. Being me is just **** tbh.
maybe he thinks you'll be easy because of your low self esteem so he feels he doesnt have to be a gentleman and can treat you all sleazy and that



Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 50
Original post by ElChapo
maybe he thinks you'll be easy because of your low self esteem so he feels he doesnt have to be a gentleman and can treat you all sleazy and that

Posted from TSR Mobile


Maybe. It's pretty **** though. Where on earth are all the real gentlemen at? I'm pretty much crying over this right now, I feel like such a worthless human being :frown:
Reply 51
This incident has added to my already low opinion of men. I should just give up with them, looks like none will treat me right :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
He kissed me, groped me and tried to look down my pants and top, but I managed to make sure not to go any further with him. I worried a bit that he might sexually assault me .


:lolwut:

He did sexually assault you... So glad you've gotten away from him now without worse happening.




In all honesty, normally nobody ever wants to make out with me. I'm generally just this weird seemingly unattractive girl that can never get with any guys. So then I had this chance, it was a stupid chance, but I took it.


I'm sure it's not all bad. :redface:

As you said before, you're waiting for the right guy. That's an admirable thing, and I'm sure it'll work out for you, probably when you least expect it.

If you're feeling insecure, as all people do, the only cure is to focus on yourself. Giving something to someone else doesn't do anything for your mentality. Pick who you want to be, and 'fake it til you make it'. Work on improving that part of you. It's the only way to get over insecurities.
Reply 53
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe. It's pretty **** though. Where on earth are all the real gentlemen at? I'm pretty much crying over this right now, I feel like such a worthless human being :frown:


If you didn't make out with the sleazeballs, then I'm pretty sure that you'd find them. Sounds like you may just need to show some interest in them, instead of just hoping they come to you
Reply 54
Original post by Hal.E.Lujah
:lolwut:

He did sexually assault you... So glad you've gotten away from him now without worse happening.

I'm sure it's not all bad. :redface:

As you said before, you're waiting for the right guy. That's an admirable thing, and I'm sure it'll work out for you, probably when you least expect it.

If you're feeling insecure, as all people do, the only cure is to focus on yourself. Giving something to someone else doesn't do anything for your mentality. Pick who you want to be, and 'fake it til you make it'. Work on improving that part of you. It's the only way to get over insecurities.


Yeah, maybe that does sort of count as sexual assault. Omg I feel a bit sick about that now :s-smilie:. I guess there's nothing I can do about it but move on now. Thanks for the post, I'm struggling to get over insecurities but I'm trying.


Original post by dgeorge
If you didn't make out with the sleazeballs, then I'm pretty sure that you'd find them. Sounds like you may just need to show some interest in them, instead of just hoping they come to you


I honestly don't really know how on earth to attract guys. Every half decent guy just friendzones me. I don't know how my stupid thing with sleazeballs would have made any difference to that. But I suppose my problems with guys is another topic for another thread.
Reply 55
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, maybe that does sort of count as sexual assault. Omg I feel a bit sick about that now :s-smilie:. I guess there's nothing I can do about it but move on now. Thanks for the post, I'm struggling to get over insecurities but I'm trying.




I honestly don't really know how on earth to attract guys. Every half decent guy just friendzones me. I don't know how my stupid thing with sleazeballs would have made any difference to that. But I suppose my problems with guys is another topic for another thread.


Perhaps I was a bit harsh, and should rephrase. I'm pretty sure that if you paid attention to other, nicer guys, that this would be less of an issue.

Either way, you seem to have self esteem issues, which you should try and get sorted first anyway before you put yourself into a situation where you may be hurt (emotionally that is)
Reply 56
Original post by dgeorge
Perhaps I was a bit harsh, and should rephrase. I'm pretty sure that if you paid attention to other, nicer guys, that this would be less of an issue.

Either way, you seem to have self esteem issues, which you should try and get sorted first anyway before you put yourself into a situation where you may be hurt (emotionally that is)


I feel like it's not totally my fault though, because there are guys who seem nice and I try to get with them but then they reject me, which in itself is emotionally hurtful.

My self-esteem issues are quite complex. They're partly caused by having a crap love life in the first place, so it's hard to break out of that cycle. I just need to keep searching for nicer genuine people to hang out with, which is a bit difficult but I keep keep trying.

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