Girls' opinion wanted - is this fair?

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No-one can guarantee how the relationship will pan out. It may not last til you leave for uni, or you may already be thinking marriage by that point (in which case a LDR may be made to work)

I'd say go for it, letting her know that you shouldn't choose uni's dependent on each other, and not to assume it will work out at uni. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work - and you'll both know it may come to that.

Reply 21

Anonymous #2

Just be careful. I once went out with a guy "only until university", and we both agreed on it because he'd had a failed LDR before, but he fell in love with me and told me he'd changed his mind. I hadn't and had to break it off and he cried and it was awful. And that was only a few months! If it had been a whole year it would have been reeeeally bad.

Not that I'm saying not to do it - I don't regret that relationship and of course he moved on - but it's definitely something to bear in mind.

Reply 22

Morgain

First off I think the fact that you're giving this issue serious thought flags up to me that you DO care for her a lot, and that you ARE prepared to think of the long term :smile:

I wouldn't say it to her as crudely as "I'm only offering you a year and that's it." You're absolutely right that would be crass.

But you could go into it by having a serious talk about how immensely important your FRIENDSHIP is. That no matter what else happens, you want to protect and preserve the friendship.
Because sex, going to other universities, travel and changing lives can really disturb a friendship and you don't ever want to lose her friendship.

Then ask her if she'd be OK to make a pact, a mutual promise, to put the Friendship first. Most girls like commitment so she'll probably go for this,
It can be good to put this in writing for her to think about.

As for what will happen don't be too sure!
You could find the affair fizzles after 3 months. One of you could meet someone else or the chemistry isn't brilliant.
Or you could find in a year's time it is so strong it's worth fighting for. With so much contact via mobiles, webcams, email etc it's not like you can't stay in touch - every day if yoy want. You could help and support each other a great deal through your student terms and have the security of affection and sex waiting in between.

Love is never certain, always open.

Reply 23

EllieDxxx

It seems like everyone else disagrees with me, but I don't think it's worth thinking about then and planning for the future, as you've not got a clue what things are going to be like then! If I were you, i'd focus on now, and you both obviously like each other, so you can sort things out for Uni when it comes to it! Things might change, you may decide you're absolutely in love with her, and would be okay with a LDR, you never know! :smile:

I've been in the same situation, also with a very close friend and we both decided we wanted more, and even though as we only literally started properly seeing each other about a month before going to Uni, so we never had an official relationship, we never seemed to think about what was going to happen in the future, cos we were just happy with the way things were at the time! He still introduced me to his family, we went on dates, we'd buy each other little gifts, we'd send each other soppy texts, I've been to visit him at Uni (he's offered to come visit, but I prefer going to visit him, and we always half train fares anyway, so makes it more fun to go away for the weekend!) and this all started literally a month before going to Uni!

So yeah, my advice is just to live for now, I know that sounds soppy, but you don't want to over think things, you literally have about 9/10 months before you start Uni, and you don't know what's going to happen during then, but you obviously have feelings for her now, and she feels the same, so go with them! :smile:

Reply 24

kunoichi

I have friends that did this but for different reasons to university and it worked really well.

They have broken up now, but they did decide to carry on their relationship after their 'test year' and they stayed together for a good while afterwards. :smile:

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

Thanks for posting everyone!

I couldn't help but feel guilty if I started the relationship knowing that I had the intention of ending it when we go away. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I only fancy messing around for a year and then leaving, it's just I don't think I could manage a long distance relationship. That's my problem, not hers.

Thanks again.

Reply 26

thinktoomuch610

I think you should just raise it that you're both incredibly young, and that this might not last forever, but you knew that right now, you REALLY like her :smile:

Girls' opinion wanted - is this fair?

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