Mainly Attracted to Older Men...
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Original post by Anonymous
I'm the same. It gets a bit annoying when you start fancying older men when they're not, shall we say, conventionally attractive. I used to fancy hot older guys on the TV but now that I'm an adult (early 20's) I just seem to fancy every older guy that I spend time with in close proximity regardless of what they actually look like. So I think it's more of some strange psychological thing to do my desire to be around a man with power/status. I don't why, it just really makes me want to be with them. Maybe there's also that element of attraction to something unattainable - due to work rules etc. I've never fancied a guy who is my own age, I think even as a 20 something, the guys I work with who are also in their 20's are unattractive to me because they would be too easy to attain and I don't have to do much to impress them. Also, even though they've gone through puberty and they are men, they have smaller physiques than the guys in their 30/40's. The older guys have broader shoulders, are taller, more rugged, more hairy. Yeaah, I have issues...
This is a really interesting post.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm the same. It gets a bit annoying when you start fancying older men when they're not, shall we say, conventionally attractive. I used to fancy hot older guys on the TV but now that I'm an adult (early 20's) I just seem to fancy every older guy that I spend time with in close proximity regardless of what they actually look like. So I think it's more of some strange psychological thing to do my desire to be around a man with power/status. I don't why, it just really makes me want to be with them. Maybe there's also that element of attraction to something unattainable - due to work rules etc. I've never fancied a guy who is my own age, I think even as a 20 something, the guys I work with who are also in their 20's are unattractive to me because they would be too easy to attain and I don't have to do much to impress them. Also, even though they've gone through puberty and they are men, they have smaller physiques than the guys in their 30/40's. The older guys have broader shoulders, are taller, more rugged, more hairy. Yeaah, I have issues...
its not "issues" everyone has a type, older men are just yours, as long as your over 16 then by all means fill your boots.
I can understand the power status thing (this usually brings in screams of "daddy issues") my partner is 28 years old and a security guard. When i go to clubs i have to sneak a bit of a perv on the bouncers, there's something about that arm band thing they wear that just makes me swoon a bit
There's nothing wrong with liking authority and power any more than there's something wrong with liking a good sense of humour, the heart wants what the heart wants, as long as no ones getting hurt, everything consensual and legal then there's no harm.
Edit: also guys our age seem to be turning into women... my flat mate at uni shaves his chest hair!!! why?!?!?! men are meant to be hairy!
As an older guy, I do find myself attracted to younger women (as well as to those my own age or older.) I've got as far as dating a couple of recent graduates, but it didn't feel right to take it further mainly due to our respective friend circles being so different - in my case, I look for the relationship to help facilitate me socially. Still, the memories of the dinner dates I did manage kept me on cloud nine for quite some time afterwards! Also, I found that in both cases online rapport carried over into not being lost for words at all on the dates and the contrasting perspectives keep the conversation interesting and pretty much guaranteed to be a learning experience.
Older guys get some stick for chasing younger women as if it is all about youthful physical attraction. One alternative interpretation which resonates with me is that older ladies can tend to be commitment-phobic (as I am a bit myself) and also shy about their bodies around younger men. My most recent ex moved onto a guy who is older than her - she told me being with an older guy makes her feel younger! Younger women tend not to have suffered so much hurt in relationships and are I find are therefore more optimistic in that area.
So, girls, avoid older guys or only flirt with them or dive in off the deep end - whatever! Any category of relationship brings its own challenges. If it is only short-term then not so much worries, but otherwise good to think through, 'when I reach 30, he will be 50...' etc.
Older guys get some stick for chasing younger women as if it is all about youthful physical attraction. One alternative interpretation which resonates with me is that older ladies can tend to be commitment-phobic (as I am a bit myself) and also shy about their bodies around younger men. My most recent ex moved onto a guy who is older than her - she told me being with an older guy makes her feel younger! Younger women tend not to have suffered so much hurt in relationships and are I find are therefore more optimistic in that area.
So, girls, avoid older guys or only flirt with them or dive in off the deep end - whatever! Any category of relationship brings its own challenges. If it is only short-term then not so much worries, but otherwise good to think through, 'when I reach 30, he will be 50...' etc.
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