Sex on first date...

I'm sure neither me or the her "boyfriend" are crying themselves to sleep because of this preference. In actuality it just shows how desperate you are. Old fashioned? meh so be it. And you are white knighting, even when girls themselves agree with that said preference you're still trying to wriggle out Excalibur.

Its an excellent means of self-selection, if a guy is actively put off by a girl that actively enjoys sex, it not only tells you something about his own psychological sexual inadequacies, but he deserves everything he's going to get later on. Its amazing how many guys are actually terrified of meeting a girl who actually enjoys sex. Poor scared little boys.

What's he going to get?, not her? well that's certainly not a loss to him. And I think we can safely discern between "psychological sexual inadequacies" ( )and moral preferences. And he wasn't terrified, he just doesn't see her as relationship material. I was actually reading this the other day, I think it rings true tbh

If you think a girl enjoying sex means she is no longer "relationship material" then you're not only a hypocrite, but you're also going to have some ****ing **** sexless relationships.

Please, don't let me get in your way on the way back to the 1950s.

Oh is there hypocrisy amongst men? absolutely, does it change a single thing? afraid not..... The world is unequal and we're all held to double standards. Though I'm not a hypocrite and don't do the ONS stuff.

But yes, the world needs a lot of less of us old fashioned ghouls and more of you modern manginas.

What's the divorce rate again?

Woh woh woh, don't try to normalise your personal level of hypocrisy and misogyny by claiming that its a common phenomenon.

Its really not. Most men grow out of virgin obsessing around the age of 16, or at the very latest when they get laid. The majority of the rest either end up getting arrested for child grooming, or hopefully restrict themselves to making bitter posts on TSR about how empowered sexually active women are "not relationship material".

Except the girls on this thread, most guys and most importantly her 30 year old boyfriend agrees. Your white knighting is embarrassing and you won't win this argument no matter how hard you try to rep whore. Just give up already, it's getting silly now.

her boyfriend agrees the OP is not relationship material because they slept together on their first date?

I think you need to carefully reconsider the logic of your post.

Hint: "boyfriend"... "not relationship material"...

Well me and my girlfriend had sex before our first date, and are still together after nearly 20 months, so I don't think it's necessarily a problem. However, when I told my friends I was going on a date (well, for a pint) with a ONS girl, most of them said they found that strange. Statistically, it's probably a bad idea if you are looking for a long term thing, but there are a lot of guys out there who aren't judgemental about these things. You wanted to have sex and it it felt right- I respect that, if there is one area of our lives where we should go with our hearts over our heads, surely it's our love lives?

On the other hand, you are clearly a worrier, and I don't know if the likely drama this approach will lead to is going to be fun for you. It's your decision, just don't let the sexist hypocritical ****ers, who hark back to the glory years when women would stay in abusive marriages because of the brutal social stigma around divorce, influence it.

So you're being pedantic now? could you get any more desperate?

whatever he is bozo

Its not really being pedantic, its just demonstrating that you're quite patently talking self-contradictory nonsense.

No-one here agrees with you.

You say that, but of all my friends who are married or in long term relationships, I would say 80% of them met through ONS's as compared to old fashioned courting over the course of three dates with a chaste kiss at the end of each one.

It may seem strange to TSR's population of 20 year old virgins and assorted inexperienced but arrogant teenagers, but this is how dating works in the 21st century.

I think that's unusual, most couples seem to meet through friends, and most ONS's are had with the mutual understanding that there is unlikely to be further contact. Of course, there's a difference between a ONS from a nightclub, I mean once I had a girl come back with me after five minutes (not meaning to brag. Well maybe slightly, but she was crazy) of meeting her, and going on a proper date that ends in a shag, like the thread starter.

Well as this is The STUDENT Room, I think people are more interested in how things work for people who are teenage/early twenties, than older people, which I believe you are.

Yes, but the relationships I'm talking about all started at university.

By ONS, I simply meant any occasion when two people have sex upon a first proper meeting.

Therefore I would quibble with two things:

Just because you are introduced by friends does not mean its not still a ONS if you only have sex with them once.

It is not my experience at all that "most ONS's" start with the understanding that there is unlikely to be further contact. In fact, quite the opposite. If the sex is any good and the attraction was mutual, its likely that at least one partner will be interested in continuing the relationship.

Put it like this: statistically the earlier on in a relationship couples sleep together, the more likely the relationship will become long term.

No offence, but are you a virgin? Its just that the only people who ever seem to care about such weird considerations are virgins.

Now whether they're weird because they're virgins, or virgins because they're weird, I couldn't tell you.


You meet the funniest, sexiest, smartest, nicest girl in the world and she wants to date you. Oh wait, she's not a fellow virgin. Images of porridge and rice pudding flood your mind like blood out of the elevator in The Shining. Nevermind then, back to mum's basement.

It may seem strange to TSR's population of 20 year old virgins and assorted inexperienced but arrogant teenagers, but this is how dating works in the 21st century.

Some offence taken.... i'm not a virgin, and although i see what you mean. I was talking more about dating a girl who has had sex with many many people, some of which i could know. This is when it becomes a problem.

WHY does it become a problem? Do you constantly think about man porridge whilst you're having sex with this girl? Do you secretly think about porridge a lot in general? Do you eat porridge? What do you imagine you're eating?

I wouldn't find it a problem. Why would I? Its 2013, not 1913.

Surely there are more important attributes to judge a girl on than her sexual history.