Don't think I can commit?!
Im 18, so I go out clubbing like most people my age. I never had a proper boyfriend before, just thought I've never been fortunate enough/haven't met the right person yet. I've done stuff with boys just not had sex. I've been offered one night stands from people I snog in clubs to a couple of my guy friends.
Im not waiting to have sex until Im in love or any of that stuff just thought I'd loose it in a relationship but never really thought about it...just thought it will happen when it happens.( im more than definitely ready as well)
But since going out last night I've realised how im in this situation I am in now.
I bumped into a mutual friend in the club last night who I found attractive, we talked for most of the night. Danced a bit and he was, lets say, a bit shy and nice so I thought I would have to make the move. We snogged then I went to find my friends and he follow me, went to the loo with friend and he said he'd wait outside. thats when I found that I can't be with one person for long at all, it felt like I need my own personal space sort of thing. He wasn't being really clingy but any sort of clingyness/ commitment I sort of run away from? I felt guilty as he's a really nice guy...but my friends swooped me off to dance with them.
So it made me think that I've never really acted upon something because im very busy, at sixth form 5 days a week, have a part time job and I have a hobby that I do at least 3 times a week so the only time I feel I can have time out is when I go out with friends. I have great fun when I snog people haha but there's this one guy I sort of have history with from just getting off in the club every time we see each other hes always wanting me to go back to his, and I really do, it's just I don't want to be messed about..yet I myself don't like any commitment so maybe this is a good option?
I sound like a boy! I just dont know what to do! I dont think I like commitment or whether deep down I dont want to have a relationship with someone when theres sort of someone who I like getting off with.
I dont see to be attracted to nice boys
thinking of what happened last night I cringe a little I dont want to be mean. Maybe its just me cringing about how drunk I was.
Sorry for rambling on, I think im still drunk or im very hungover!
Any advice/ help would be great! Happy new year
Posted from TSR Mobile
Im not waiting to have sex until Im in love or any of that stuff just thought I'd loose it in a relationship but never really thought about it...just thought it will happen when it happens.( im more than definitely ready as well)
But since going out last night I've realised how im in this situation I am in now.
I bumped into a mutual friend in the club last night who I found attractive, we talked for most of the night. Danced a bit and he was, lets say, a bit shy and nice so I thought I would have to make the move. We snogged then I went to find my friends and he follow me, went to the loo with friend and he said he'd wait outside. thats when I found that I can't be with one person for long at all, it felt like I need my own personal space sort of thing. He wasn't being really clingy but any sort of clingyness/ commitment I sort of run away from? I felt guilty as he's a really nice guy...but my friends swooped me off to dance with them.
So it made me think that I've never really acted upon something because im very busy, at sixth form 5 days a week, have a part time job and I have a hobby that I do at least 3 times a week so the only time I feel I can have time out is when I go out with friends. I have great fun when I snog people haha but there's this one guy I sort of have history with from just getting off in the club every time we see each other hes always wanting me to go back to his, and I really do, it's just I don't want to be messed about..yet I myself don't like any commitment so maybe this is a good option?
I sound like a boy! I just dont know what to do! I dont think I like commitment or whether deep down I dont want to have a relationship with someone when theres sort of someone who I like getting off with.
I dont see to be attracted to nice boys
thinking of what happened last night I cringe a little I dont want to be mean. Maybe its just me cringing about how drunk I was.Sorry for rambling on, I think im still drunk or im very hungover!
Any advice/ help would be great! Happy new year
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by hollybanolly
I dont see to be attracted to nice boys thinking of what happened last night I cringe a little I dont want to be mean. Maybe its just me cringing about how drunk I was.
Sorry for rambling on, I think im still drunk or im very hungover!
Any advice/ help would be great! Happy new year Posted from TSR Mobile
I dont see to be attracted to nice boys
thinking of what happened last night I cringe a little I dont want to be mean. Maybe its just me cringing about how drunk I was.Sorry for rambling on, I think im still drunk or im very hungover!
Any advice/ help would be great! Happy new year
Posted from TSR MobileYou seem like a decent person from reading the whole post; reflecting on things you've done (with remorse where appropriate). To be honest, you're young still and there's no pressure in these situations. Concentrate on your hobbies, job and studies at your age is my advice.
The person you have 'history' with, do you know if he gets off with other girls as well? It might be the case that sex to him isn't that big a deal whereas it is to you, so don't feel bad for not going back to his place.
Whatever happens, best wishes and I hope it works out well this new year. Original post by ilem
Maybe you're not ready to have a relationship yet. Nothing wrong with it.
I did think this at one point, but could I not be ready for a relationship but ready for all the physical side to it without coming across as desperate and only after one thing? It's kinda like I seem to be waiting for something good to come round the corner when it might not even come?! Sorry for all the questions!
Posted from TSR Mobile
Plenty time for a relationship, just go out and have fun.
Original post by Dagnabbit
You seem like a decent person from reading the whole post; reflecting on things you've done (with remorse where appropriate). To be honest, you're young still and there's no pressure in these situations. Concentrate on your hobbies, job and studies at your age is my advice.
The person you have 'history' with, do you know if he gets off with other girls as well? It might be the case that sex to him isn't that big a deal whereas it is to you, so don't feel bad for not going back to his place.Whatever happens, best wishes and I hope it works out well this new year.
The person you have 'history' with, do you know if he gets off with other girls as well? It might be the case that sex to him isn't that big a deal whereas it is to you, so don't feel bad for not going back to his place.
Whatever happens, best wishes and I hope it works out well this new year. Aww thank you that cheered me up
yeah the guy with history, he's a bit of player, my friend who sort of knows him confronted him once about me and he admitted that he liked me but didn't wanted to be tied down haha.. I've never seen him get off with anyone, but everytime im out I bump into him and we end out chatting for a bit. I think because I havent gone 'the whole way' half of me doesn't want to get messed about by someone who I know wouldnt really want to see me again just because then I've been ticked off his list, yet I think that's what I might want at the moment? I don't know! See how things go anyway. Thanks for your advice
all the best!Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Rock Fan
Plenty time for a relationship, just go out and have fun.
Thanks for the advice, happy new year
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by hollybanolly
No worries, just live your life to the full
Original post by hollybanolly
I did think this at one point, but could I not be ready for a relationship but ready for all the physical side to it without coming across as desperate and only after one thing? It's kinda like I seem to be waiting for something good to come round the corner when it might not even come?! Sorry for all the questions!
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Well casual sex and no strings attached fwb relationships take much less effort, dedication and maturity to maintain than proper romantic relationships. The former are just about having fun without worrying about anything else while romantic relationships do not always go without a hitch, you sometimes have to make concessions and, most of all, care about the partner deeply in a more than just a physical way.
So I'd say it's entirely possible to be ready for casual encounters without wanting a full-blown relationship. That's probably why you see so many ONS happening in uni. Enjoy yourself and don't do anything you'd regret
Original post by ilem
Well casual sex and no strings attached fwb relationships take much less effort, dedication and maturity to maintain than proper romantic relationships. The former are just about having fun without worrying about anything else while romantic relationships do not always go without a hitch, you sometimes have to make concessions and, most of all, care about the partner deeply in a more than just a physical way.
So I'd say it's entirely possible to be ready for casual encounters without wanting a full-blown relationship. That's probably why you see so many ONS happening in uni. Enjoy yourself and don't do anything you'd regret
So I'd say it's entirely possible to be ready for casual encounters without wanting a full-blown relationship. That's probably why you see so many ONS happening in uni. Enjoy yourself and don't do anything you'd regret
Thanks for the advice, in all honesty, I never really considered myself to be into these sort of fwb things until recently when I properly started to think maybe that's what might suit me better and that I can carry on with what im doing. Thanks again
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