We broke up, now we're talking again. Do I go on the dates I have lined up?

Long story short, me and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago during a fight we were having. It wasn't a planned or considered break up. I apologised on Xmas day and he got in touch a few days ago telling me he missed me. We are not back together, but we are talking and he's said he wants us to keep in touch because we could get back together if we're able fix the (minor) issues that were causing problems. The issues were to do with our insecurities and a fear of commitment.

Thing is, I have 2 dates lined up for January that I planned before my ex got back in touch with me - both are really nice guys. Now I'm not sure whether or not to go....

Any thoughts would be helpful!

Reply 1

InnerTemple

Make a decision: are you going to sort the problems with your ex or not?

If yes, cancel the debates and get to work with the ex.

Reply 2

Munchies-YumYum

If you can't resolve the previous issues then they will almost certainly surface again.. it's how nature works.. if you just leave the issues aside thinking fights won't erupt again then I must disappoint you, it will.

Reply 3

Orihime

Go on the dates and keep your options open.

It's a new year, forget about your ex.

Reply 4

CJKay

Go on the dates. If you go back to your ex, all that will happen is that for a few weeks you'll feel happy you got each other back, and then eventually the problems that originally broke you up will resurface.

Reply 5

abc101

You've been apart from your boyfriend 3 weeks and already set up 2 dates?! That alone suggests you don't want to be with him. Let him find someone who'd cry over him for more than 2 minutes before moving onto her next victim.

Reply 6

Climbontoyourseahorse

Why are you going on dates if you would get back with your ex if given the chance, or at least consider it?

Reply 7

DontBeJelBeReem

Original post by Orihime

Go on the dates and keep your options open.

It's a new year, forget about your ex.

Such silly reasoning. Also disregard above post, they're red for a reason.

Like others, i say you do one or the other, sort the problems out or go on the dates. At the end of the day, its up to you.

Reply 8

SirMasterKey

Personally, I'd have a long think about whether the issues can be resolved. If you broke up over them are they really only minor? Is there a chance they might resurface?

If yes to the latter, I'd probably try and move on and go on these other dates.

How strongly do you still feel for your ex?

Reply 9

Orihime

Original post by DontBeJelBeReem

Such silly reasoning. Also disregard above post, they're red for a reason.

Like others, i say you do one or the other, sort the problems out or go on the dates. At the end of the day, its up to you.

The only silly thing is how you assume you know what's best for the OP. :rolleyes:

She's not morally corrupt if she goes on the dates to change scenery and get out there while sorting out the problems with her ex.

Imagine dropping the dates for the ex and then breaking up with the ex a week later.

Reply 10

DontBeJelBeReem

Original post by Orihime

The only silly thing is how you assume you know what's best for the OP. :rolleyes:

don't be mad x

Reply 11

MancBoy

Knew OP was a girl when she said she had dates 'lined up' :rolleyes:

Reply 12

sr-uk91

People dont just break up for no reason. Something caused it and you have to consider the underlying reasons, you've broken up this easily once already, do you want it to happen again?

If you genuinely like your ex then dont go on the dates, however, your consideration and 'lined up dates' tells me you have already made your mind up...

Hope this helps. :smile:

Reply 13

Orihime

Original post by DontBeJelBeReem

don't be mad x

don't be an idiot xoxo

Reply 14

Shockolate

Original post by abc101

Or it might just suggest a forced attempt to get over him/take her mind of him. A lot of people are encouraged to casually date very soon after a break up, as a way of helping them to realise there are other people out there, to make them feel better about being single etc, it doesn't mean she is indifferent about her break up/ex, just that she is dealing with the break up in a different way to how some people might deal with it.