Arguing over whose ex gave us sti's?
It sounds so stupid Im 21 hes 24 weve been together over a year. I was a virgin when I met him however I had an ex boyfriend for about 9 months I was going to sleep with this ex however I changed my mind as I knew he waa cheating on me and so the furthest we ever went was everything but sex but we only did 'everything' once. When i met my boyfriend I know its a terrible thing to do but I lied and said I had sex with me ex as my boyfriend was older and had alot of partners I was worried that he would be put of me if I admitted I was a virgin. I knew nnothing about sex my family never spoke about it and we hardly covered it in school
He had slept with over 10 women. When after a few months I lost my virginity to him we used protection its only recently we stopped using it. I cant express the symptons but I just knew something was up and wrong and thought it was something sinister so i went to get myself checked out. It turns out I had chylmidia I made him get tested and it turned out clearly he had it too. He then told me he was sleeping with a girl up to a few weeks befroe we met without protection as she said she was 'fine' and it also transpired after over 10 sexual partners he had never had an STI test although 8 of these were one night stands and casual. I know its my fault I should have got him checked out before i slept with him. But im quite upset because there is a massive stigma attached to catching one of these infections the doctor even assumed i had been sleeping around. My boyfriend however refuses to take the blame he defends the girl saying i probably got it from my ex and that even if we didnt have sex i could have caught it which i suppose is very true but my ex had also never done stuff with anybody else (till he cheated)
Im so mortified and ashamed I caught this and was so stupid my friends have spread it around uni and now people believe im some tart who has this disease, it also made me a bit angry at this girl who slept with my boyfriend unprotected because if i hadnt had an inkling i had something and left it I couyld have been made infertile by his and hers stupid actions. We are hardly talking because of it can i be a bit upset about it or is he right its just as much my fault if not more ?
He had slept with over 10 women. When after a few months I lost my virginity to him we used protection its only recently we stopped using it. I cant express the symptons but I just knew something was up and wrong and thought it was something sinister so i went to get myself checked out. It turns out I had chylmidia I made him get tested and it turned out clearly he had it too. He then told me he was sleeping with a girl up to a few weeks befroe we met without protection as she said she was 'fine' and it also transpired after over 10 sexual partners he had never had an STI test although 8 of these were one night stands and casual. I know its my fault I should have got him checked out before i slept with him. But im quite upset because there is a massive stigma attached to catching one of these infections the doctor even assumed i had been sleeping around. My boyfriend however refuses to take the blame he defends the girl saying i probably got it from my ex and that even if we didnt have sex i could have caught it which i suppose is very true but my ex had also never done stuff with anybody else (till he cheated)
Im so mortified and ashamed I caught this and was so stupid my friends have spread it around uni and now people believe im some tart who has this disease, it also made me a bit angry at this girl who slept with my boyfriend unprotected because if i hadnt had an inkling i had something and left it I couyld have been made infertile by his and hers stupid actions. We are hardly talking because of it can i be a bit upset about it or is he right its just as much my fault if not more ?
why does it matter whos ex it came from? If one of you was doubting the other thinking it might of came from cheating that would be an issue but your not so I don't see the problem. it happened get treated and move on.
edit: also neither of you suggested getting tested before not using protection so you are both equally to blame no matter who it came from.
edit: also neither of you suggested getting tested before not using protection so you are both equally to blame no matter who it came from.
(edited 11 years ago)
TLDR.
Get tested, get the treatment and get over it. Practice safe sex next time
Get tested, get the treatment and get over it. Practice safe sex next time
Its both of your faults for not using protection
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
wHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
You don't have very much luck with men either.
He sounds like an idiot for sleeping with those girls and never having a test. Purely for his own benefit he should have seen the sense in doing that so I'd question whether you want to be with such a numbskull.
I can understand you having unprotected sex (I take it you were on the pill) as you assumed you were 'clean' but it was still risky given you knew his sexual history. It is more likely to have come from him given the circumstances and I do think it is up to him to let you know he had unprotected sex and never checked himself out but I suppose for your own safety you could have asked for the discussion. I mean, if you're sleeping with someone you should trust them enough to be able to talk openly. Similarly your lies about not being a virgin are very immature and suggest you haven't got a close relationship. The arguments are also pretty petty and make you sound very young - you should be supporting each other.
I would be pretty pissed off if I were you, but you also do need to wise up if you don't want to be with irresponsible men.
I can understand you having unprotected sex (I take it you were on the pill) as you assumed you were 'clean' but it was still risky given you knew his sexual history. It is more likely to have come from him given the circumstances and I do think it is up to him to let you know he had unprotected sex and never checked himself out but I suppose for your own safety you could have asked for the discussion. I mean, if you're sleeping with someone you should trust them enough to be able to talk openly. Similarly your lies about not being a virgin are very immature and suggest you haven't got a close relationship. The arguments are also pretty petty and make you sound very young - you should be supporting each other.
I would be pretty pissed off if I were you, but you also do need to wise up if you don't want to be with irresponsible men.
(edited 11 years ago)
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