Girlfriend kissed another guy.

Hi all. As the title says, my gf of a year kissed someone else. It was in a club, she was drunk. The guy was an acquaintance. Apparently she started it and it lasted a few seconds. I was told this my someone who saw what was going on but she did tell me herself. Apparently there weren't any tounges but a bit of movement (I demanded as much detail as I could get).

I'm not sure what to do. I'm tempted to end things as it really stings but some have said a drunken three second kiss like that doesn't mean anything. Thanks for any replies.

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Reply 1

FinnLassie

It might not mean anything to them, but if to you this is an important issue, then do make it clear to your girlfriend. It doesn't matter what some say, as we all have different morals and in this case I think you should really seek what's important to you.

Personally, if a boyfriend of mine was to kiss anyone, drunk or sober, I would be very disturbed by it and would most likely end the relationship there as it has made a crack in the trust I've built up with the guy.

Reply 2

Plumstone

In most cases, actions taken when drunk are simply an uninhibited expression of what one would like to do when sober. In my opinion, kissing someone else, even when drunk is inexcusable so I would not be happy continuing with a relationship after such an incident.

Really, though, it's up to you; would you be able to trust her again? It depends what it means to you; if you feel that a "drunken three second kiss" doesn't mean anything, then my all means stay with her, but it sounds like you think it does.

Reply 3

kiss_my_asthma_99

It's up to you, I mean do you trust her? At the end of the day I think that it's completely fair if you broke up with her, but I think you should talk to her about it and evaluate your relationship I mean she must be trust worthy if she told you herself, and it may have been a drunken mistake.

Reply 4

chlobofro

Alcohol is truth serum. If she was happy, she wouldn't have done that. Ditch her. It's inexcusable.

Reply 5

silverbolt

dump her, shes destroyed your trust.

Dump her sorry ass!

It's a difficult one.

ON the one hand, they say drunk actions are those of a sober mind. However, as someone who has been drunk plenty of times, this isn't always the case. And remeber of course, a lot of people, when sober, may wonder what it's like to kiss someone else etc, and in the heat of the moment along with alcohol do something they'd never do sober. Curiosity doesn't mean they're unhappy with the relationship.

With all of this in mind however, it obviously is a betreyal. But I wouldn't be too hasty about jumping on the 'Dump her!' bandwagon, especially considering this seems like a long-term relationship. You need to do what is right for you and right for the relationship, whether that means ending it or something else.

Reply 8

Mockery

Tell her that if she can't behave and isn't responsible to go clubbing and have a few alcoholic beverages then she is no longer allowed to do so.

She will probably dump you soon after saying this to her though. At least you leave with your manhood and pride!

Reply 9

Ice Constricter

Seriously talk to her if its bothering you that much. But in all honestly I couldn't stay in a relationship once someone did something like that. I'd never trust her (and rightly so).

Reply 10

flubadiblam

Original post by Jalk

**** man, sorry to hear, thats awful! If you love her then talk to her about it, what someone "saw" and what actually happened could well be two different things mate.

Try to not be aggressive about it when you do, even though it may feel like acid is pumping through you, play it cool and see what she says. If it really did happen, i'd be walking but thats just me!

Best of luck to you pal!

Reply 11

Jalk

Thanks all. We're done, for now at least. What I can't get over is that she started it. And once it gets longer than a quick peck (like you would kiss a family member) I think it is wrong...

Reply 12

jamboogy

**** that mate... when you're drunk you still have an idea of what you're doing, so being drunk is a terrible excuse.

Good job for telling her to do one.

Reply 13

Sophie_girl

Original post by jamboogy

**** that mate... when you're drunk you still have an idea of what you're doing, so being drunk is a terrible excuse.

Good job for telling her to do one.

I don't understand people who say this. The point is that you DON'T know what you're doing. Have you ever been absolutely smashed? If you have a blackout you can't even remember it the next day so how are you in control of what's happening? At the time it's not like you're making conscious and rational decisions of what to do.

Personally I think it is one of, if not the most valid excuse of misbehaving.

HOWEVER, having said that, if you know you are a person that's prone to acting badly when drunk, or having no control, you 100% should not be getting that drunk when you're in a relationship, simple as that.
For me personally, I would end it as I would lose trust in the person, and I think even a '3 second' kiss is still a big deal, and pretty disrespectful.

Reply 14

FinnLassie

Original post by Sophie_girl

How is being drunk a valid excuse of misbehaving in any level? Most often it is the person themselves getting all those drinks into themselves with the full knowledge that they'll get drunk and will most likely be prone to do something that they haven't fully thought through. Therefore, it is no valid reason as they have deliberately gotten themselves under the influence of alcohol.

I think that after you've gotten drunk once, even tipsy, you will realise that it makes you weak for certain actions and ways of thinking (usually after sobering up though), and I'd imagine this guy's girlfriend wasn't drinking for the first time.

Sorry if I sound attacking with that comment, I don't mean any offense. :smile:

Reply 15

amyshamblesxx

Original post by Sophie_girl

I don't think there is any excuse for cheating. If my boyfriend cheated on me, regardless of whatever pathetic "excuses" he came up with, he would be out of the door.

If someone loves you and respects your relationship, they don't cheat.

Reply 16

g36c

She is lying, there was more than a 3 second kiss. She told a part truth to release some guilt.

Dump

sloots gonna sloot

Reply 17

thinktoomuch610

Sorry, I would not be having that. For me, that means the relationship is OVER.

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Reply 18

lad-lad

Unless she is running back at you in tears, with a massive roast dinner and a crate of beer to seek forgiveness, I'd dump the sloot.

Reply 19

Drunk Punx

If she initiated it then she'd be ****ed. If he initiated it and caught her off guard then I'd be a bit more lenient.

If I were you, I'd kick the ho into touch.